(Pic by Jo)

A NEW LIFE

By Atonia (Picture creations by Atonia unless otherwise noted)

Part 1

Max flew into London to take care of some business, do a little trading and clean up some accounts. He also had hopes of taking Jacky back with him. It was the end of August and Terry was due to give him up. He’d had him for over two months and Toni had become very tearful about him and questioning whether this was going to work. Two months was too long. He would have forgotten he even had a mother. So Max was going to see Terry and see what he could work out with him.

‘Hello, love, I’m in." Max kicked off his shoes and tie and fell down on the sofa in his flat.

"You made it…" Toni pushed a pillow to her back and sat up a little.

"Of course I did. What are you doing right now?"

"Lying on the sofa watching a movie. Maxi’s working with his tool box on the coffee table."

"Taking it apart?"

"He’d like to. He knows what you’re supposed to do with a hammer."

"I’ll give Terry a call tonight and, um, get together with him tomorrow. A month on and off, that’s what you wanted, right?"

"I think that’s fair. Two months is too long. He’s too young and I miss him."

"I do, too. I think I’m going to order dinner in and see what I can stir up in the markets tonight. Got to pay for that new nursery." He smiled, thinking of the new baby…a girl.

"Rose will have roses, pink ones," Toni grinned. She’d just had an ultrasound done and confirmed the baby’s sex. Jack Aubrey would have a daughter in five months. She was excited to have a girl with Jacky and Maxi.

"Lots of pink roses but her mother likes white roses."

"Oh, yes! You remembered. I wish I’d come with you, darling."

"Umm, so do I. We really need to do something about the flat, find a corner for Maxi."

"I love you, Max."

"I love you, Toni, and I’ll call you when I know something about Jacky."

Max went into his kitchen and put the kettle on. Making a cup of coffee he carried it back to the living room and called Terry.

"Max, how are ya?"

"I’m good, Terry. Um, I’m in London doing a bit of business and I thought while I was here we might talk about Jacky and if possible I’d like to take him back with me."

Terry walked out of the den into his kitchen. "What about him? What did you want to talk about?"

"You’ve had him for over two months. That’s a bit long for him to be separated from his mother at a go. I thought we might come to an agreement as to how he’s shared out."

"I see. Well, um, when did you want to meet?"

"Tomorrow morning if possible, if you can take the time from work. I’ve got an 11:00 flight out."

"I’m not sure Anna can get him packed up and ready to go by then."

"No need to pack up. Toni has shopped for him. Just his special things will be all that’s needed. She’s really been getting more and more upset about this, Terry. She hasn’t relinquished custody to you."

"I’d like to talk to her about it."

"Very well, but she’s not traveling right now. If you’d prefer to bring him over…"

"I would rather do that, say, at the end of the week?"

"All right. I’ll let her know."

"You have time for breakfast in the morning?"

"Sure. Where would you like to meet?"

"Clossons?"

"I’ll see you about eightish."

Max laid his phone down on the coffee table. If Terry had time for breakfast, he certainly had time to get Jacky ready. He didn’t know what was up with him but he intended to find out. He’d stopped calling Toni and this was the first time he’d talked with him since they got back from the Rivera.

The first thing Max noticed about Terry was that he looked good. His eyes were clear he looked well rested and in good shape physically. Terry shook his hand and then hugged him.

"How are ya, Max? You look good. Being well taken care of."

Max smiled, "Yes, very well, thanks."

"I’m glad you called last night. I’ve been meaning to call you. How’s Toni?"

"She’s been ill, some kind of stomach virus, but she’s on the mend now. Her spirits have been down somewhat over this Jacky business."

"I’m sorry if I’ve caused her problems. We moved, ya know, and I’ve been trying to get settled in the new place and get some kind of routine in place for him and myself. It’s working out great, the new place, for both of us."

"That’s good. I’m glad to hear it. The chateau is undergoing an upheaval right now. We’re clearing out the attic room for a playroom and, of course, the new nursery and boy’s room down the hall. It smells of paint." Max accepted the pot of tea and a cup from the waitress.

"Maxi’s walking now?"

"Yes, he’s walking about and beginning to talk a little in an understandable language. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but the baby is to be a girl."

Terry smiled, "A girl? Well, how about that! I know Toni must be pleased."

"Yes, she is. She’ll be glad to see you. It’s been a while." He looked over his cup at Terry.

"Yes, I know it has been…a while. I thought I might come Friday and stay until Sunday if that’s…."

"Of course it is. You’re welcome anytime and I mean that, Terry." He met his eyes for a moment.

"Thanks, mate."

"We’ve skipped all around the thing I wanted to talk to you about and that’s Jacky. You said you wanted to talk to Toni about it and that’s good, but for my own comfort level, a reasonable timetable needs to be worked out between the two of you. Legally you’re still married and I hope we can keep this between us and not have to go through the courts."

Terry sat back in his chair. "The courts? Well, I said before it was only a piece of paper. If you want to make the divorce legal, we can do that.  That would at least free Toni up and the two of you could get married if that’s what you want to do."

"We’re already married. We discussed that in Paris and both agreed we couldn’t do a better job of it. I only mentioned the courts in regards to Jacky, joint custody, reasonable visitation rights, that sort of thing. I don’t think it’s going to be necessary because I think we can work something out. You might want the legal divorce, however. It would free you up should you meet some comely little Sheila." Max smiled a little.

"I’ve been married," Terry looked off to the side, "and like you, I will always be married whether there’s a legal document or not. Why are you bringing up the courts then? Is this a mild-mannered threat, Max?"

"Not at all. Just something to think about. It’s been over two months you don’t call, you don’t write, I think you don’t love us anymore, I begin to worry. Toni begins to cry for her son, so you see.…"

"Yeah." Terry picked up his tea. "Friday before noon I’ll be there with him, just the two of us."

Max smiled, point made.

Part 2

"Is this okay? We can find something else if…?"

"This is great. Look at the view," Toni said, opening the car door.

It was Saturday lunchtime and at Max’s suggestion Terry took Toni to lunch in Lacoste. Max thought they needed to reestablish a bond, something tried and nearly broken. He stayed at the Chateau La Siroque with the children and Ludivine and Duflot, who had somehow gotten himself involved in the attic refurbishing.

Terry held her chair while she sat down. "I can’t get over Jacky. He’s changed so much and potty trained. How in the world did you do that, Terry?"

"A little show and tell. You look good, Toni. Pregnancy agrees with you."

"It’s been an easy one so far. I guess girls are different. You look good, too. You’re obviously taking good care of yourself." He did look good. She’d seen the muscles across his back that morning when he came back from his run and found her in the kitchen making coffee.

"I’m trying to. I’m sorry about Jacky, luv. I didn’t realize I was causing you such distress. It won’t happen again. We’ll try the month to month thing. I wouldn’t hurt you, Toni, not…."

"But you have, deeply, truly, devastatingly…hurt me." She picked up her menu.

"Well, that came back on me. I gave away the only thing in the world I could love besides our son. It left a big hole, Toni. I don’t blame you if you never forgive me but Max’s life is whole now and you’re happy and at peace. That’s some consolation, that’s something for me to hang onto, that and the fact that I can still love you whether it’s returned or not."

Toni looked up and set the menu down. "What makes you think it’s not returned? How can you love someone the way we did and have it stop overnight? Your fire consumed me, Terry. You stopped feeding it and so I gathered the embers and moved them to a different place in my heart. You didn’t ask me when you left me that day to keep your love warm the way you always did when you’d go away. So I, um, did it anyway. I know where it is. I bring it out and hold it every once in awhile. Max knows. He lives with that, Terry."

"He was going to give up everything, Connie, his son, the chateau. He knew he’d lose…everything for you. When Connie died it came to me that I had no right to you. I didn’t deserve you in face of that, not after what I’d done."

"No one asked me what I wanted. I’m not a thing to be passed around regardless of your noble intentions. I was your wife. We could have talked it out but you never asked me." Toni picked up the napkin to dry the tears running down her face. She looked up to see them in Terry’s eyes, too.

"Let’s get out of here."

"Yes, I don’t think I can eat anyway."

He led her to his vehicle and took her in his arms and held her. "I’m so sorry, Toni, sorry for both of us." He looked into her eyes for a moment, kissed her deeply for a long time and, tangling his hand in her hair, held her face to his chest.  "God help me, I love you."

Toni’s lips felt bruised, his scent almost making her dizzy. Rose moved in her belly and she thought about the warning Jack had given her and she broke away from him, holding on to the car door. "Terry, let’s go somewhere we can talk. We need to talk."

"Okay. Where do you want to go?"

Toni stopped him on the outskirts of Lacoste, near some old stoneworks and trees. He parked the car and they got out and walked over, finding a stone to sit on out of the sun.

"Does the heat bother you?" he asked.

"Yes, it does a little. I know what Connie went through last summer. I, ah…you and I have to find a way to live with each other, Terry. It can’t ever be like it was as much as I love you and, yes, still want you. I can’t allow that to happen to us. I wouldn’t do that to Max. He’s not like you were and I love him too much to ever step over that line with you."

"It’s hard because I still want you. I don’t think that desire will ever die. My body knows you too well. I said I respected you and I do. I won’t push it, Toni." He took her hand in his and turned it over, tracing the lines in her palm with the tip of his finger. "I won’t push it but I’m human…all too human. You’ll just have to let me know where that line is." He looked up at her, his eyes soft, almost pleading.

His fingers were on the inside of her arm now. "You know what you’re doing, don’t you?"

Almost imperceptively, he answered, "Yes."

"You know I’m going to kiss you…" she whispered.

"I hope so."

"On the other side of this kiss…the line."

A devilish look shone in his eyes. "I’m going right up against it." He took her in his arms and kissed her. Letting his hand find her breast, he kneaded softly. 

She knew him well enough to break the embrace. Regardless of respect or lines or anything else, there was a point of no return. He wasn’t far from it. "We should go."

"I can’t possibly stand up right now." He leaned his head back.

"You are so very, very good at this." Toni stood up, putting a little distance between them. It would be so easy, so natural, so familiar. "I love you, Terry Thorne…no matter what’s happened between us. I’m working hard on forgiveness. There’s hope…I’ll get there…I will." She bit her lip and moved back to him. Taking his face in her hands, she kissed him again. His hands found her hips and he rested his forehead on her rounded stomach.

"Toni, if I could go back and change things, I would. It would never have happened." He looked up at her. "We can’t go back. We have to move forward. I’m trying to learn to live without you. It’s not easy. I take it day by day, but I never stopped loving you and I never stopped wanting you. Believe that."

"I believe you." She touched his hair. "I’m glad we had this time today. I want us to get to the point where we can talk and be near one another without tears. Can you, um, stand up now?"

Terry grinned, "You little minx! I suppose I should feed you. If I take you back to the chateau hungry, questions will be asked."

"Do you think we might try that same café again? There was a bouillabaisse that looked good."

"I think we can try that." He stood up gingerly and adjusted his jeans, grinning at her, then took her hand and started back toward the car.

"Did you have a nice lunch?" Max was leaning in the door way as they walked up.

"Yes, bouillabaisse in Lacoste," Toni smiled and started to touch him. "What have you been doing, Max?"

"We’ve been painting the attics but my helper got hungry."

"Helper?"

"Jacky. He’s quite good, actually."

"Did you change his clothes?"

"Um..no."

"Does he look anything like you?" Max had paint splattered over him.

"He’s shorter." He kissed her and looked over at Terry, who gave him a thumbs up. Good. He hoped it was better between them now.

"Oh, Max, and he had on such a cute little outfit." Toni pinched him and went past him into the house.

"You put him to work, did ya?" Terry smiled.

"I’ve missed that little rug rat. Did you, um…is everything okay between the two of you now?"

"Other than the fact that she hasn’t forgiven me, yes. I think we’re going to be okay, Max. We’ve, um, established the line."

"The line?"

"The one I don’t cross over."

"Ahh, that line." Max stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts and smiled. Good for her…extra rations. He stepped out of the doorway, fishing a cigarette out of his pocket. "Got a light?"

"Buying your own now?"

"You don’t come around often enough." Max accepted the light and offered Terry a cigarette. "It’s good to have you back, Terry."

"I’m getting there, Max." They walked over to the wall and sat down, looking over the vineyard. "How’s the vineyard coming along this year?"

"Um, good, I think. Duflot is nursing it along and between him and Aubrey Duncan I’m getting back into the game. Aubrey’s teaching me a little about blending."

"You’re going to make your own wine this year?"

"I’m going to give it a shot, Terry. I won’t have the set up that Chambord has but I can still make wine. He’s going to press for me. I’ve got to do something."

"Your foray back into banking didn’t last long."

"No, but I think with all that happened around that time I came to realize there was more to life than making money. Oh, I still trade a bit on the side but I won’t go back. I’ve got it all here I just need to work it. I had that conversation with Connie one time when I wanted to move back to England. I said I was a banker not a winemaker but I never gave it a chance…never wanted to. I couldn’t seem to settle down to anything. Toni has grounded me. I needed that."

"Don’t tell me she’s harnessed the wind?"

Max grinned, "As much as I let her."

Part 3

Sunday morning dawned quiet and peaceful. Now that Jacky was sharing a room with Maxi the six-thirty Maxi alarm didn’t go off and Toni slept later than usual. Sunlight fingered its way into their bedroom through a crack in the curtains, finding Max’s eyes. He half opened them and turned over, spooning against Toni.

Terry was running. He’d been to the crossroads and back, an easy five miles. As he jogged up the drive to La Siroque, sweat stinging his eyes, he thought about the pool. He had a flight out around 6:00 so he’d have the day to spend here. He rounded the house and came in the back door, looking in the fridge for a glass of juice. He went back out and sat at the round table to cool down. It was so quiet here he could here Ludivine’s voice from the farmhouse, speaking in her rapid French. He didn’t envy Max his life, but it was nice to step into it once in awhile, a place to come and recharge. He sipped his juice and noticed a large black and white cat moving along the shrubbery, a dog barking somewhere in the distance. This was Toni’s life now. He smiled a little.

Toni was up now and had her shower. She turned before leaving the bedroom and looked at Max. He’d gone back to sleep after waking her a little earlier with something urgent to take care of. She smiled and quietly closed the door. Down the hall Maxi was awake and she changed his diaper and picked him up, stopping by Jacky’s bed. It was so good to see him there sleeping quietly. Downstairs she filled a sippy cup for Maxi with apple juice, set him down while she made coffee and noticed Terry outside.

Maxi had already discovered him and Terry had gotten up to help him out of the doorway.

"Good morning." Toni came out behind Maxi.

"G’Day, luv."

"You’re late running this morning, aren’t you?"

"No, actually I’ve been back for awhile. Just sitting here enjoying the morning."

"It’s lovely, isn’t it?"

"Yeah, it is. You love it here, don’t you?"

"I do. It’s home for me now."

"What will you do about the place in Virginia?"

"Maybe next year. I don’t know. You’re welcome to go there anytime you want, Terry. I want it to be Jacky’s one day so he needs to be familiar with it. Have you seen Henry lately?"

"Um, yes. He came and stayed a few days… on his way to Spain with some mates. He’s as tall as I am now."

"He’ll be sixteen this year. Terry…I’m glad you came and stayed.  I was afraid you’d just drop Jacky off and leave."

"I didn’t know what I was going to do. It depended on you. I was a little afraid you wouldn’t want me to."

"Come when you want. You’ll be welcomed."

Terry met her eyes. "A place to come to where you’ll be welcomed and loved?"

Toni smiled, "Yes…always. There will be someone here to love you."

"I should go shower. I might go for a swim. Jacky still asleep?"

"He was when I came down. If he’s awake, toss him at Max."

Terry got up from the table. "I’ll do that," he grinned and touched the top of her head as he passed her.

Her love warmed that cold place inside of him. He knew now that she did still love him and somehow that made the whole thing bearable. She would always be there, just out of reach, but she was there.

Toni came back to the table after walking around with Maxi in the garden. "Max, you’re up?"

Max was still damp from a shower. "Tell me that wasn’t your idea?"

"What are you talking about, darling?" Toni bit her lip to keep from smiling.

"A wild, manic two year old boy landed atop me in the bed just as I was having the most wonderful dream about you, and proceeded to destroy me completely."

"Not completely. You’re still here…aren’t you?"

"I have no idea what parts might be missing. He even followed me into the bath." Max pushed the coffee press down.

"You have a whole month of this to look forward to. Aren’t you pleased?" Toni sat down and helped herself to a cup of coffee.

He looked up over his glasses. "You put him up to it, didn’t you?"

"I may have suggested…."

"It’s women like you who are responsible for all the wars in the world since mankind first stood up to take a piss."

"Oh now, Max, that’s a bit…."

"Make a man want to go out and fight something…and kill it." He took a sip of his coffee.

"Ohh, aren’t we a bear this morning, and it started out so nice, too."

He smiled a little crookedly. "Did, didn’t it." Max looked down. Maxi was grinning up at him and he picked him up. "We must begin your education regarding women."

"Ah, stuff it!" Toni laughed and got up to go into the kitchen, changed her mind, and came back and gave him a solid kiss on the lips. "Kiss 101."

Max smiled, "You just took the wind right out of my sails."

Later they all ended up in the pool except Max, who ran after Jacky, who thought it was more fun to climb out and jump back in, making a big splash. Terry caught him and would haul him back out. Jacky couldn’t swim yet but he had no fear of the water and knew how to hold his breath.

Maxi was in his float and Toni pulled him around while he kicked his feet underwater. Max skimmed leaves out of the water while Jacky went to find some more to toss in. It was a good morning and Max was enjoying his family. He was glad Toni and Terry had found that bond they’d almost lost. It needed to be strong for the circle to remain intact.  He looked at them now in the pool, laughing together, and smiled a little. It was good to have Terry back, his brother, his friend.

Part 4

It was a rare sunny day for February. Max and Toni were in London waiting for the birth of Rose Aubrey. They’d come up the last week in January and settled in the cottage with the new nanny. Her name was Tuppy, a plump English girl recommended by Anna. She’d come to them in Provence, a happy, solid girl in her late twenties and she and Maxi had taken to each other immediately. Terry and Jacky had come down the first weekend they were in the cottage. Jacky was happy to see Maxi could run and play with him now. He would be three years old in a week and Maxi was almost 15 months.

Max and Toni took a taxi into the city and got out and walked. It was heavy going for Toni. She was going weekly to her doctor and he’d told them it could be any time now. She was ready for it to be over and hold the baby in her arms.

"Is it too much for you, love?"

"No, I need to walk."

"We could pop ‘round to Terry’s, take the car out there."

Toni had been to Terry’s when they first came to London. Jacky was now used to the idea that his mum lived with Uncle Max at Chateau La Siroque and the visit had gone well. "Okay," she said breathlessly.

"Hello, luv." Terry greeted her with a hug. "You are miserable, aren’t you?"

"I am, Terry, I am so ready." He took her coat and led them into the living room where Jacky was playing. He ran to his mum for hugs and kisses and to show her his room.

"Oh, Jacky, it’s so neat! Do you really live in here?"

"Yah, I got a horse." He jumped up on a rocking horse to show her how to ride.

Toni sat on his bed and looked around the room. There were still a few toys she remembered from their time at the house, things she’d bought him. Jacky seemed happy here. Terry was doing a good job on his own with Anna. It still hurt.

Christmas had been spent at La Siroque this year. John and his family came over and Terry and Jacky were both there. The only one missing was Jack and she especially missed him right now that she was about to give birth to his daughter.

After a while she thought she might like a cup of tea and came down the hall to the steps. Wiggins was there, gave her a hug and made a pot of tea for her.

Max and Terry were in the living room talking and Jacky had joined them.

Wiggins climbed the stairs and went to the door of the living room. "I think Miss is in labor."

"What…here?" Max turned.

"Where is she?" Terry asked.

"She’s in the sitting room on the sofa. She’d had a cup of tea and wasn’t feeling right and I’ve put her there."

Max and Terry both jumped up, leaving Jacky to Wiggins, and went down the stairs to the den.

"Toni," Max went down on a knee and grabbed her hand, "is it time? Do we need to call an ambulance?"

Toni smiled a little. "The pains are starting. They’re about ten minutes apart Wiggins thinks."

"Let’s get you upstairs while we can." Terry went over and helped her up.

Toni’s waters broke at the top of the steps and Max called an ambulance, worried she might give birth on the way to the hospital. They had driven his Aston Martin, not enough room there to move around.

Max, hands in pockets, looked at Terry while they waited for the ambulance to come. "You’re coming, too."

"Okay." He had intended to anyway. "Are you going into delivery with her?"

"Oh." Max winced remembering the pain and suffering Connie had gone through. "When Maxi was born I said then I’d never put a woman through that again."

"You passed out, you said?"

Max looked a little sheepish. "I had to go and tell you that, didn’t I? She’ll probably want Jack but he’s not here."

"He wouldn’t anyway if he was. It’s okay, Max, if you can’t do it. She’ll understand."

"I should be at her side."

"You can be until…you know, things get serious. Maybe we should ask her instead of making decisions on our own." Terry looked out of the front window. "The ambo is here,. Let them take her on a gurney."

Max went down to bring the medics up and Terry walked over to where Toni was lying on a sofa. "You’re going to do fine, luv. You did it with Jacky. You can do it again."

Toni reached for his hand and squeezed it as another pain hit her.

Max and Terry followed the ambo to the hospital. Terry had to hand it to Max. He stuck right by her through the long hours that followed. Terry was in and out of her room. He called John to let him know Toni was about to deliver Jack’s baby girl, then called Wiggins to get Anna in for Jacky because he didn’t know how long he would be gone. He read old magazines and napped.

Three in the morning Max came in the waiting area a little worse for wear. "Terry, they’re taking her back."

Terry looked at him a moment. "Do you want me to go?"

"Would you?"

"All you had to do was ask." Terry stood up, took off his jacket and handed it Max. Giving him a quick hug, he went back to the delivery room and got scrubbed and suited up.

He took her hands and, as he had done when he coached her through Jacky’s birth, he worked with her breathing, encouraging her. When it came time to push, he pushed with her until Rose Aubrey made her entrance into the world. Still in the scrubs and with the baby tucked up safely in his arms, he carried her out to the nursery, stopping at the door. Max was there with a smile to see the baby.

They watched through the window as she was weighed, measured and given her first bath.

"She didn’t want to leave her watery world," Terry said.

"Well, she wouldn’t. Look who her father is. Toni came through okay?"

"Yes, she did. She did a good job, Max. Rose was easier on her than Jacky. He was a big boy when he was born. Your Maxi was, too."

"Yes, I’ll never forget the first time I saw him. They laid him on her stomach, hadn’t cleaned him or anything. I thought he looked like a slug. That’s when I went out. However they did revive me and I carried him to the nursery. Have you tried to contact Jack?"

"No, been busy," Terry grinned and raised a brow.

"Thanks, Terry…thank you."

Terry patted his shoulder and looked back at the squirming pink baby behind the glass, Rose Aubrey. She had changed their lives forever.