Sometimes Life (How Toni met Richie)
By Atonia Walpole
Richie adjusted the leather jacket over his left shoulder and climbed the stairs. He set the small canvas bag down and fumbled for his keys.
“Here let me help you with that,” Margie opened his apartment door and handed him back the keys following him into the dimly lighted living room. “Would you like some coffee or do you just want to go to bed, I can help either way?” she said and smiled.
Richie sat on the sofa not sure now why he had allowed the nurse to bring him home, it had seemed like a good thing at the time, a tall blond with tits about to burst from her white dress. He sat back and sighed, his mind went where his body was unable to in his present condition.
“Coffee, coffee’s fine.” He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, he was exhausted and tired and a little woozy from the pain medicine given to him before he left the hospital.
“Hey Margie, I appreciate your bringing me home but if you don’t mind, I think I’d just like to rest for awhile, sorry maybe next time huh?
“No problem Richie do you need help with anything?”
“Um no thanks I can manage.” He offered up a weak smile when she kissed him on the cheek and left.
He took the jacket from around his shoulders and tossed over the back of the sofa and held his left arm which was encased in a sling. The bullet had entered his left shoulder just below his shoulder blade and tore through just missing his lung, a few centimeters off and he would have been in some deep shit. He’d spent a week in the hospital after surgery and was looking at weeks before he’d be able to work.
The hood that shot him had been arrested on the spot, you don’t shoot somebody on the courthouse steps unless you’re ready to give it up, a small consolation for Richie who lay bleeding and in a state of shock. He’d seen the guy seconds before he fired the gun and thought he’d seen his own death in the face of the man. Now he was having nightmares sometimes in his dream he died and was left in the autopsy room and no one ever came to claim him. His near death experience had left him shaken.
His mail lay scattered across the coffee table and he brushed it aside, only one caught his eye a Las Vegas postmark. It was a get well card from his son a note fell out of the card and he opened it, from Laura had remarried…well good, he thought. Her life was moving on, his son was in a good school in a good neighborhood…everybody was moving on except him.
Richie spent the next four weeks watching television and going through papers from his office, making notations and sending them back with a runner. Margie had been by a couple of times and he had been unable to…what was wrong with him? He was taking her to dinner tonight, maybe things would be different.
They stopped by his favorite bar for a drink, Margie was certainly doing her part and he felt a stirring, yeah he was going to be all right, just a reaction from the injury. She went to the ladies room and Richie ordered another drink, he looked across the bar and noticing a pretty woman bought her a drink. Not his usual type, she was petite with auburn hair and green eyes, curvy instead of long and lean. She smiled across at him and he smiled back. Margie came back draping her arms around him and he set his drink down glancing across the bar the woman frowned at him and pushed the drink he’d bought her away. Margie claimed his attention.
Later that night he was able to perform Margie taking away all his fears of impotency but during his lovemaking the woman at the bar crept into his mind, what would it be like with her, different maybe? His physical needs satisfied he slept through the night without dreaming.
Toni hoisted her tote bag on her shoulder and entered the elevator punching the 4th floor. She was running a little late this morning and would not get that cup of coffee before her first patient came through the door. She’d met her friend Ivy for drinks last night and dinner, which had gone on late into the evening as usual. There was always so much to catch up on since their early days together. They were roommates and best friends for a few years until Ivy moved out to be closer to her work. Now when they got together they could pick up the last conversation they had and bring it to the present.
She stopped by the receptionist’s desk and picked up a folder carrying it down the hall to her therapy room. Going through the doctor’s orders for each patient she had an idea of what her day was going to be like. 8:30 frozen shoulder, 9:30 knee injury, 10:00 nerve damage L5, 11:00 shoulder injury, gunshot wound.
11:00 rolled around and she had her room ready for the shoulder, first time in therapy and she would take it easy on him today. Taking her sheet she walked out to the waiting room and stopped staring at the chestnut haired man reading the paper. It was the guy from the bar, looking down at the paper, “Richie Roberts,” he looked up and folded the paper before standing and following her down the hall. The look in his eyes told her he remembered her, this was not going to be pleasant, and she hated guys like that, always looking for the next conquest, this one even before he got rid of the present one.
“Just have a seat on the table,” she could feel his eyes raking over her and she would not give him the satisfaction of looking at him. She read over the paper work he’d filled out in the waiting room, he’d been shot, something in the back of her mind stood up, she remembered something about that from the newspaper, and he was somewhat a celebrity for his crime fighting past. That’s all well and good she thought but he was still an asshole in her book.
“You can remove your clothes down to your pants and put this gown on, I’ll be back in a minute.” She said as she stuffed the paperwork back in the folder.
“Don’t I even get a hello?” he asked, “what’s your name?”
“Toni Stanley, I’ll be back in a minute.” She walked out the door and shut it behind her.
‘You don’t mind if I call you Toni do ya?” he asked as she came back in the room.
“Toni is my name, now lets see what kind of motion you have in that arm.” She put him through several movements and asked him some questions.
“Are you mad at me Toni for buying you a drink?” he asked
“I’m neither mad nor glad about you Mr. Roberts now lay down on your stomach and place your face here.”
“Call me Richie I’ve never been Mr. Roberts to a woman.”
“I really don’t care what you have been or are, just relax your arms and I’m going to attach these electrodes, they will relax your muscles along with the heat.”
“Hey you are mad Toni, I’m sorry can I take you to lunch make it up to you somehow?”
“There is nothing to make up now lie still please.” Toni placed the adhesive patches and attached the electrodes. “Let me know when this gets to strong now.” She turned up her machine watching the numbers and his reaction. “It’s not supposed to hurt.” When he didn’t say anything she watched the muscles in his back jump and turned it down, “that better can you stand this?”
“Yeah, feels about right. How about dinner if you don’t wanna do lunch?”
Toni didn’t answer and placed the weighted heated pads on his back and turned down the lights. “I’ll be back in a little while, just relax.”
“Hey Toni about dinner?”
Toni shut the door.
Richie lay on his stomach feeling the electrodes tighten and let go the muscles in his shoulder and back. She hadn’t exactly turned him down didn’t say no. He thought she looked cute in her scrubs and smiled to himself, just a matter of timing. He found himself drifting when the lights finally came up and she turned off the machine and lifted the pads off his back.
“Another few minutes I think I would have been asleep” he said into the hole where his face was pressed.
“Sometimes patients do drift off. I’m going to give you a massage and then we’ll work on a few exercises. Toni warmed the oil in her hands before applying it to his back and began the long kneading strokes up and down his back and up to his neck. His body was firm and she felt each muscle as she stroked. “Do you work out Mr. Roberts?” she asked
“I did…worked with weights.” He was lost in the feel of her soft hands on his skin.
“That’s good you already have the muscle tone we just need to get that shoulder moving again.”
“Toni, I’m serious about dinner.”
“Well then you should find yourself a nice little place and enjoy a good meal.” She was working up the back of his neck and out his shoulder blades digging with her thumbs to release the tension she could feel.
Too soon it was over and she asked him to sit up so she could put him though a few exercises. Richie had an erection when he turned over. He tried to cover it up by blousing the gown around his thighs. Toni noticed it but said nothing. She was doing her professional duty and nothing more the guy probably had a girl in the waiting room.
Richie studied her face as she maneuvered his left arm around; she had a flawless complexion except for a mole on her left cheek, jade green eyes with flecks of golden brown, dark brows and long dark lashes. Her long wavy auburn hair was caught back in a clip and she had silver loops in her ears, even white teeth behind the most kissable lips he had seen lately.
“Have dinner with me?” he asked quietly
“No thanks Mr. Roberts…are you paying attention because you have to do these on your own at home, ten times each.”
“I can do ‘em no problem.”
“Twice a day.”
“Twice a day, got it.” He hadn’t taken his eyes off her face. “You have the most beautiful eyes.”
Toni dropped his arm. “Look we have two sessions a week for eight weeks; I don’t want to have to listen to this kind of stuff from you for the next eight weeks okay? I am not interested in going out with you to dinner or anywhere else. I don’t like guys like you, guys that take a woman out and flirt with another, that doesn’t turn me on Mr. Roberts that turns me off. We’re finished for the day you can get dressed; I’ll see you back on Thursday.” She turned and left the room.
Richie stared at the closed door for a minute before taking off the gown and pulling his shirt over his head. He would be looking forward to Thursday, he liked a challenge and it looked like she was going to be a challenge. A smile curved his mouth as he left the room stopping by the receptionist for an appointment card.
Toni walked back to the break room and pulled her sandwich out of her tote bag. Jenny one of the other therapists came in and joined her.
“I see you had Richie Roberts this morning, he is so cool.”
Toni munched her sandwich, “you think so, why?”
“Well…aside from the fact he is good looking, he’s got quite a reputation you should check him out.”
“What a reputation with the ladies?”
“That too, but he’s well known, used to be a cop and now he’s in the public defenders office.”
“How do you know all this?”
“I read the papers and watch the news.”
Toni did check him out that night when she went home and sat in front of her computer. She looked at the photo, his smiling face. He was good looking and she liked his body having been rather intimate with it today. No he would never do, she remembered the drink he bought her.
Richie didn’t give up and repeated the same routine for a month before she agreed to go to lunch with him. He was charming and disarming and she found herself with a date for dinner on a Friday night. Toni made sure she didn’t go to the ladies room when they met at a bar for a pre dinner drink. He was attentive, boyish with an underlying sexuality that had her wanting to be with him. After dinner the invitation came to go back to his place or hers. She declined and left him standing in front of the restaurant as she got in the back of a taxi.
Once she got home she wondered about herself, she had wanted to be with him but not as one of his harem. It wasn’t long until her phone rang.
“Hey Toni, just wanted to make sure you got home okay, I didn’t like you leaving on your own, why did you do it?”
“Hi Richie, I…okay I didn’t trust myself…I needed to put some space between us.”
“Why, I thought everything was going great?”
“Too great…I don’t do that on a first date maybe I’m old fashioned that way.”
“I like old fashioned girls, no problem but you know I hadda ask?”
She noticed the plural girls, “I guess you did. Well…”
“Hey I got tickets to a Yankee’s game tomorrow wanna go?”
“I’m not much of a baseball fan Richie.”
“I’ll buy you a hot dog come on I’d really just like you to be sitting beside me. I wanna see you Toni.”
Toni played with her pajama buttons, “Okay, I’d like to see you too.”
They began dating; he was still in her therapy room twice a week. He was now working with weights and she watched him from the sidelines while he worked the machines. His shoulder was coming along really well and he had regained the range of motion he needed.
Richie took her to movies, concerts and the theater. They were out to dinner at least three times a week but she had not been to bed with him not that he hadn’t tried every time they went out. The kisses and petting were getting heavier and Toni was falling in love with him. Seven weeks into his therapy he tried again.
“Toni instead of going out tonight, I cook a mean spaghetti.”
“Mean spaghetti don’t believe I ever had that.”
He grinned, “my place 7:00?”
“Okay, do I need to bring anything?”
“Just yourself,” he kissed her slowly giving her a taste of what might come.
Richie was excited at last he was going to get her in his bed. He straightened up his apartment and changed the sheets. He’d stopped off at his favorite Italian restaurant and picked up the sauce, salad and garlic bread all he had to do was cook the spaghetti. Emptying the sauce in a pot he smashed up the containers and stuffed them in the bottom of his trash can. He set two wine glasses out and lit a candle all was set; he took a shower.
Toni bathed and dressed carefully she was about to give him something special tonight and the thought gave her pleasure and also scared her a little. Richie had become part of her life as no one had since her fiancé was killed in a car accident five years ago. That incident prompted her to leave her home in Virginia and move to New Jersey to live with her friend Ivy. New surroundings and a new lifestyle helped to heal the wound left by his death. She had dated a few guys over the years but nothing ever became serious until Richie came into her life.
Richie opened his door before the bell stopped ringing. “Hey Toni you look delicious, he kissed her and took her jacket letting his hand run over the shoulder of her soft cashmere sweater. She smelt delicious too and he slipped his arm around her.
“I can’t believe you’re here.” He said
“I know I had to be sure Richie about you.”
“Take you this long…I’ve been sure about you from the first day.”
“I don’t believe that for a minute.” She smiled, “it smells good in here.”
“Yeah, I better stir the sauce, just have to cook the spaghetti and it will be ready. Like a glass of wine?”
“I’d love it.” She wandered around his living room and grinned, typical everything centered around the TV. “How long have you lived here Richie?” she asked
Richie handed her a glass of wine, “five years, every since my divorce. It ain’t much.”
“Its fine,” she said and kissed him quickly on the lips
Was dinner necessary first he wondered? “It means a lot to me your coming here.” It did he realized. He had become obsessed with her. He wanted her sure but he also liked her, liked being around her, loved the southern accent peppered with English expressions. She was special maybe too special. He went back in the kitchen to cook the spaghetti and she followed him.
“Neat little apartment, nice to see you’re a good housekeeper.”
“You lookin’ to hire one? I’m available.”
“I’d want exclusive rights no moonlighting.” She said softly and walked over to the table and sat down.
Richie’s eyes widened and he stared at the wall behind the stove for a minute, “you already have my rights babe, you got me by the short and curlys and you know it.” He put the bread in the oven to warm.
Toni hoped so as she sipped her wine, there had been no indication he was seeing anybody else or she wouldn’t be here in his apartment.
Dinner went well, she complimented him on his spaghetti and he smiled across the table at her. He seemed to be doing that a lot tonight and she noticed.
“You seem awfully happy tonight Richie.”
“Its because you’re here Toni, you make me happy.” And he knew it was true, she did.
Another glass of wine and they were on the sofa, he made his move and she followed him into his bedroom letting him undress her and caress her breasts and body, he climbed in the bed with her, she was wet she was ready. He started to enter her watching her eyes, something like fear showed and a moment later he knew why, he stopped and pulled away. God in heaven he hadn’t had a virgin since he was seventeen.
“Toni, I didn’t know I thought…you’re twenty-eight…I didn’t know they made virgins that old.”
“Richie don’t stop…I want this I want you…I love you Richie.” Her arms were around his neck her hands in his hair, “don’t stop.” She whispered
It had stopped him cold, he kissed her softly and gently and began exploring her body with his hands, kissing her neck and suckling her breasts he moved down. Gently he made love to her until he couldn’t hold back any longer and once again moved on top of her. He was easy with her until he’d taken her maidenhead and then all the pent up passion exploded for both of them. He lay panting on her breast, what the hell had just happened. He raised himself up on his arms catching her face in his hands and kissed her again.
Looking into her eyes he heard his own voice, “I love you Toni, I love you I never thought I’d say that to anybody again ever and mean it, but I mean it, I do love you.” He felt something inside fall and break into a thousand pieces and melt away. She had given herself to him and him alone he was responsible for her now. She was his.
“I love you too Richie with everything I am, I love you.” He silenced her lips with his.
The next couple of weeks he found out what it meant to be loved by Toni. She was very affectionate, she cooked for him, she talked to him listened to him, touched him when she was near and warmed him at night. Richie was working on a case and his hours were sometimes long and irregular, she never complained but was there for him when he needed her.
Richie had a final doctor’s appointment regarding his shoulder wound. He found Margie was now working for his doctor and so it was that Toni had an appointment with her doctor in the same building and ran up on the two of them in the hallway. Richie had Margie against the wall and his hands were everywhere. Toni stopped as she rounded a corner not believing what she was seeing. She stood there and watched them while the breath was sucked out of her body and the world stopped turning. Margie noticed her and said something to Richie but by the time he turned all he saw was Toni’s long auburn hair bouncing on her shoulders as she ran down the hall toward the elevators.
Toni went home and locked her door she took off her clothes and put on her pajamas and fell across her bed. As the numbness wore off the tears began, she didn’t answer her phone didn’t even look to see who was calling she knew and she never wanted to hear his voice again.
Richie knew he had fucked up big time, he left the doctors building and walked, tried to call Toni and walked some more. Finally he decided to go see her. He knocked on her door and called out but she wasn’t opening it. He began banging on her door and calling her name, across the hall an elderly lady stuck her head out the door.
“What’s going on, I’m gonna call the cops stop that banging.”
Richie had his head against the door, “I can’t, I can’t stop my life is in there.”
The lady cocked her head sideways, “Ain’t you Richie Roberts?”
He turned slightly to see the woman, “yeah.”
“Well I know you, you helped get my grandson outta jail, Randy Williams was his name.”
“What…” Richie was in no mood to talk cases.
“You got a problem in there with Toni?”
“You could say that…a problem.”
She came out her door, “let me try Mr. Roberts she knows me,” she gave him a sideways look; “I hope you got your sorrys in order.” She knocked on the door and called Toni’s name. It took a while but Toni unbolted her door a crack, Richie got is foot in and pushed the door open and closed it behind him.
“Get out…GET OUT!” she screamed at him
“No…Toni please I need to…” Toni slapped him hard across the face and was going to do it again; he caught her arm. “Toni, I’m sorry please don’t do this.”
“I want you out of here; I don’t ever want to see you again.”
“I can’t leave, I can’t I love you Toni.”
“The fuck you do,” she wrestled away from him and her hand found a vase on the coffee table full of flowers he’d given her, it hit him on the shoulder, followed by an ashtray, looking around for something else to throw, she wanted to physically hurt him.
“Please Toni, can’t we talk, please…”
“No…no I don’t have anything to say to you and there’s nothing you can say Richie nothing so just get out and leave me alone.” She was crying again and ran to her bedroom and slammed the door locking it behind her.
Richie kicked the remains of the vase across the room, he was so angry with himself. He sat down on her sofa with his head in his hands. He knew if he left he’d be falling off a cliff there was no where for him to go without her. He couldn’t lose her not now. He heard her sobs coming through the door, he’d done this to her after she gave herself to him, in his keeping to keep her safe and to love. He’d hurt her and for what? Why had he done it? His cell phone went off, someone from his office.
“Look something has come up, something important I can’t deal with anything else right now, get somebody else.” He turned it off and laid it on the coffee table. Right now Toni was the most important thing in his life if he couldn’t fix this he couldn’t fix anything. His whole career had been based on following the rules, doing the right thing why was it he couldn’t do the right thing in his personal life. He’d let her down in the worst way hurt her the worst way he could have. He got up and went to her bedroom door.
“Toni please talk to me, anything just say anything, just talk to me.” Silence and he slid down the door leaning against it. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You may as well go, there’s nothing for you here anymore.” She was still crying
“I know I hurt you Toni, if I could take it back I would, I don’t want to hurt you, I love you.”
“You don’t know what it is to love somebody Richie, I gave it to you on a platter, everything I had to give and you just ground it under your heel, it mattered nothing to you, nothing and it wasn’t enough was it?’
“That’s not true it does matter to me, I know what you gave me, oh God I know…” his voice broke.
Toni threw the box of Kleenex across the room smashing a china figurine.
“Please open the door talk to me.”
“I don’t talk to asshole’s Richie, I knew what you were before I ever started going out with you. I thought you’d changed, I thought you wouldn’t cheat on me, I thought a lot of things…and I was wrong on all counts. Go away and leave me alone.”
“I didn’t cheat on you, not till today…”
“I’m supposed to believe that…how many times do you have to do it before its cheating Richie? I’m not going to live life like that wondering how many women in a room know my man as well as I do. I’m not made that way. I don’t think like that…I gave myself to you surely I can expect the same from you. I can’t so that’s that.”
“Toni will you marry me?”
“FUCK OFF!”
“Please open the door. I know I fucked up bad, I’m sorry I truly am sorry. I swear to you it won’t happen again.”
“I don’t believe you Richie simple as that.”
“It ain’t simple at all Toni, you had a right to expect more from me, I…just…habits of a lifetime…she don’t mean nothing to me, never has she was just a…nothing like you she don’t touch you Toni, nobody I have ever known touches you. I’ve never felt for anybody what I feel for you. You gotta believe me Toni, I swear to you…”
“Don’t swear to me you bastard, you’ve lied you’ve cheated, I caught you today how am I to know where you were yesterday or the day before. I’ll be damned if I am going to call your office to find out if you’re really working or screwing some woman in the hallway. Is that want you want me to live with?”
“No…I wouldn’t ask you to, cause I wouldn’t be screwing some woman in the hallway…not ever again, unless it was you.”
“What the hell were you thinking Richie?”
“I wasn’t obviously…I wasn’t thinking at all.” He drew his knees up and rested his head on his knees.
Toni lay back down across her bed. Damn she still loved him why did he have to be such a bastard. She got up and retrieved the box of Kleenex and blew her nose. She paced around her room for awhile and sat down on her bed.
“Toni…talk to me.”
“I’ve run out of talk Richie.”
“No…talk to me…love me Toni.”
“You don’t deserve love.”
“I know…I don’t deserve you…I’m sorry.”
“You deserve a kick in the ass.”
“Or a vase of flowers thrown at me and an ashtray.”
“I couldn’t find anything else heavy enough to make a dent.”
“You made a dent Toni I’ve never wanted anything in my life the way I want you, you’re everything. I love you with everything I got. I can’t lose you. I’ve been a shit head and I know it. I need you, help me Toni give me a chance.”
What if he got up and walked away out of her life forever. She wrapped her arms around herself, she couldn’t bear it. She stood up, “Richie…if you ever cheat on me again I’ll kill you, but first I’ll cut your dick off you understand me? I will not put up with this ever again if you love me at all you won’t bring this hurt on me because I can’t bear it. I’m not going to live my live with an unfaithful man that I can’t trust.”
“I understand Toni, I promise you it won’t ever happen again. I’ll hand you the knife…”
“I wasn’t thinking of a knife.”
“What were you gonna to use then?”
“Kitchen shears, probably take several goes before it falls off.” She had moved closer to the door and her hand wanted to turn the knob, if she turned the knob she was committing herself to him, she was going to have to trust him.
“Kitchen shears…Toni I love you babe…I give myself to you right now…you can do what you want with me.”
Sometimes life gives you a second chance at happiness. She opened the door.
Continued in The Glen…
