The Fall of My Heart
(at The House of Four Seasons)
by Atonia
part 1
I’ve just spent the most wonderful summer with Max Skinner made more so because we shared memories and we had got past the awkwardness of getting to know one another. The magic has changed here at The House of Four Seasons for the better. I now can call back a season if I wish and the memories and love we shared will still be there.
I made the decision to stay here in this house and live my life divided into four seasons. I did that because of the love I have for winter, John Biebe. He would not exist outside the magic of this house and the life I had in the outside world was not enough to make up for the loss. Max has also taken his place in my heart; he is and will always be my summer. He left only a couple of days ago after a picnic on the beach he just walked away up the sand. He does that he says because he doesn’t know how the season will end and he doesn’t want to be in the middle of…well something and just disappear. He does it his own way.
I have already invited Fall and I don’t expect him for another week. I hope I haven’t done something I will regret. Jack warned me about him but that was before the magic changed I am hoping for something…but then I don’t know him at all. To say that I am looking for a long and lasting relationship here might sound strange when it will be divided into four men but that is how it has to be. I cannot have the same man for all four seasons.
Last Fall it was Maximus and while I loved him dearly and he is to this day my closest friend whom I could discuss anything with, he is not one to be possessed to be held for very long. I honestly believe he carries his own magic. Jack who rescued me from emotional disaster in the Spring is another I would not hold. He loves the sea and while I know he would come willingly should I call him I can’t find it in myself to try and contain him. I watched him walk the cliff behind the house too many times knowing he wanted to be on his ship. I still don’t know what I am going to do about him, I feel like we have unfinished business but I would not try and hold him for very long.
I’m not promiscuous by nature and so I am trying to find a fall and spring I can live with forever. This past spring Cort was here. It was before the magic changed and it was an emotional experience for both of us. I will always love him, his gentleness and basic sweetness are very much on my mind but he also has a struggle within himself that I cannot touch as much as I loved him.
So I am waiting for fall and catching up on my writing which by the way goes much by the wayside in summer, but I don’t mind Max is worth it.
Fall: Terry Thorne
He knew the routine; he’d been here more times than he cared to remember. He looked up at the house as he walked down the pathway, probably some changes there he noticed there were roses growing over the front porch now. He always liked the feel of the house and grounds. Reaching the front door he rang the bell and hunched his shoulders up in his jacket and lifted his chin…ShowTime.
Only no one opened the door. He rang the bell again and tried the latch, it opened so he walked in glancing quickly around, there was a cat curled on the rug in front of the fireplace. He walked over and gave Millie a rubdown, “by yourself are ya?”
Millie offered no clues so he walked down the hall and into the kitchen, something smelled good in there. Over by the glass doors he saw her in the distance sitting on the ground at the edge of the bluff looking out to sea. “Wrong guy, it ain’t Aubrey that’s coming,” he said under his breath.
He opened the doors, fixed a smile on his face and walked out to the bluff.
Toni turned hearing him walk up behind her and shaded her eyes, the sun was behind him.
“Looking for the Surprise?” he asked
“No, I was waiting for you, have a seat,” she offered to share her bit of turf.
Terry sat down resting his arms on his knees.
Toni looked him in the face for a moment and offered to shake his hand, “I’m Toni Stanley.”
He took her hand and gave her a quick smile, “Terry Thorne, but we knew that already didn’t we?”
Toni gave him a small smile and turned back looking at the sea. “I’ve been watching that tanker way out there, I thought he might be having a problem a while ago but he seems to have righted himself.”
Terry followed her gaze out to sea and said nothing. He was waiting for the signal, would she want it out here on the grass or inside preferably on a bed. He’d read what he was supposed to about her and was aware she now owned the house and grounds but he had become jaded, a woman who invited him here was after one thing…the fantasy. “You’re very attractive,” might as well get the ball rolling.
Toni turned to him, “thank you.” What was wrong with him, he certainly wasn’t very friendly. “Have you had lunch, it should be about ready?”
“Lunch, no.”
Toni got to her knees, “I’ve been sitting her for some time you may have to give me a hand up,” her legs felt a bit crunched.
Terry stood up and offered his hand pulling her to her feet, he met her eyes briefly. There had been no come hither look just a friendly smile, he relaxed a little and walked with her back to the house.
“I came out earlier and sat down to think a bit, I have no idea now what time it is or how long I’ve been out here, sorry I wasn’t there to meet you.”
“No worries, a cat was there.”
“Millie on the rug, she loves it here.” They reached the back door, “hope you like seafood, it’s a casserole of sorts I made from memory. I still need to unpack my cookbooks.”
“You cook?” he asked leaning against the center island. That had to be a first.
“I do sometimes when I’m in the mood. The house does a better job actually.” She bent and took the bubbling dish from the oven. “This is awfully hot, would you like a beer or something else while it cools down a bit, I’ve got a salad to put together.”
Terry smiled a little, a domestic goddess did she hope to impress him with this. “A beer would be nice.”
“Help yourself it’s in the fridge.”
Terry took a beer and sat at the island watching her work over a salad, her hands were small and neat with short unpolished nails. He looked up at her hair, long wavy a hint of auburn, maybe a little mascara a touch of liner and that was it. He skin still bore the hint of a summer tan and she was curvy under her Capri pants and tee shirt.
“I saw that you were living here full time, how’s that working out for ya?” he asked sipping his beer
“I don’t know yet but I’m committed.” She looked up giving him a quick little smile. “That’s how it has to be.”
Something passed over her face in her eyes; he frowned and took another drink from the beer bottle. “Strange kind of life to lead, I guess it takes all kinds.”
Toni looked up at him again and said nothing. She finished the salads and placed them on the table, took down plates and heaped a spoonful of the casserole on each plate. “We can eat at the table, would you mind getting me a beer too?”
Terry was surprised to find he was hungry and the meal was good and satisfying. He touched his bottle to hers, “here’s to the cook that was very nice.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it.” Toni replied and finished off her beer.
He sat back in his chair and looked at her for a moment, “your bed or mine?”
Toni blinked, “excuse me?”
“That’s what comes next have I got it right?”
Toni got up and stopped by his chair very close to the side of his face she bent down, “I don’t want to fuck you.” She ran up the stairs and slammed her bedroom door.
“Why am I here then?” he called after her but she was up the stairs. “You’ve fucked yourself Thorne.”
Toni slammed into her room angry tears threatening to fall all over her face. It was her own fault and that didn’t help the situation one bit. She had been warned. She stopped In the middle of the room, Jack had warned her but he had said Terry would be another John, “Boy did you get it wrong,” she said aloud wishing she had something to throw. She walked out on her balcony wrapping her arms around herself, how do you go about sending somebody back, she was wondering when she looked down and saw him standing in the back yard hands on hips looking up at her.
“Hey Toni…I’m sorry if I offended you.”
Toni stared down at him, she didn’t know him at all the house hadn’t let her into his room for some obscure reason all she had to go on was his character in the movie and what she’d seen today. She liked his character but did not especially like the man standing in her back yard. He acted like an asshole and why she didn’t know. She decided to have a talk with him and if nothing improved she would find a way to send him packing.
“You did offend me and I’d like to know why, would you come up please we need to talk.” She left the balcony and went into her bathroom and washed her face. She saw her reflection, “I need him,” she said to the wet eyed woman in the mirror, “but not like this.”
Terry knocked on her door and waited, that hadn’t been very nice of him and he was sorry. Surely he was better than that the woman had been nice to him…maybe she was different. He was about to find out.
“Come in,” she said and stepped back leaving the door open behind him. She walked over to the sofa and sat, he sat on the other end.
“Tell me you’re sorry,” she said looking him in the eye.
He blinked, “I am sorry,” he saw she had been crying and he felt bad, “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Toni looked down at her hands, “I believe you. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, let’s not assume anything we don’t know.”
“I agree,” he said looking down at the floor.
“I’m going to make one assumption that you’ve been here before, probably many times.”
Terry sighed, “Yes I have…many times.”
“Then you should know it’s not what it was, this is my home, my magical home. You said it takes all kinds, I guess it does Terry but I’m here because I fell in love with someone who cannot exist outside of this place.”
“You fell in love with a season, what…what do you do the rest of the year…entertain?”
“No. I have a summer and a winter, I love them both. I don’t want to live alone here.”
“You invited me for fall,” he looked up.
“Well that remains to be seen, yes I did invite you but I’m not looking for a one off season. If I’m going to live here I have to have some stability in my life. I want you to understand where I am with all this.”
“You’re looking to me for stability? Ha, ha you’re right you don’t know me. I go from one thing to another that’s my life. I barely touch ground in between.”
“You don’t do any repeat business do you?”
“No…I never have the one time I tried it, it turned out badly.”
“What if there was one thing you could count on, one thing that wouldn’t let you down, one place you could go and somebody would be glad to see you and would love you?”
“I don’t think that place exists.”
“It could but that’s up to you.”
“You’re talking about here…with you?”
“Yes, if it turns out we’re compatible and if we could possibly love each other. I’m not sure about either right now.”
“Neither am I, I’m not sure I’m what you’re looking for. You’re looking to fall in love with another season someone who’ll come back year after year.”
“Yes that’s it exactly. That’s the stability I want…someone I can count on to love and care for me as I would love and care for them for the three months I’m allowed to have them.”
“And you invited me?”
Toni grinned, “it was a crap shoot and against someone’s advice that I admire and care for. I’m taking a chance on you Terry.”
Terry shifted a little on the sofa, “I don’t have relationships, I don’t get involved, “he was becoming uncomfortable with the conversation.
“Maybe it’s time you did; whatever happens here has no bearing on your other life.” Toni shifted pulling a knee up on the sofa, “someone once said to me this is the Twilight Zone. It’s an opportunity to have something in your life that would be impossible anywhere else.”
“You make it sound very tempting,” he turned facing her, pulling his knee on the sofa.
They looked at each other for a moment, she wondering about that protective barrier he’d build up around himself and what was really on the other side of it; he wondering if he dared.
“I’d have to rearrange a few things like getting this arse off my shoulders to start.” He smiled.
“Oh definitely you’d have to do that but the rest of you looks to be in good proportion.” His eyes looked very blue in her bedroom as he stared at her.
“Shall we give it another go? I’ll try not to let you down but if I do you can kick my arse back to London.” He gave her a wide smile.
“It’s a deal…now I know where to send you.” She laughed.
And that’s how it began…