Chapter 1

It was two hours before the ship began to move. After being shown our cabin I asked if I might stay on the deck for awhile. To say it was cramped was an understatement. I had closets in my other life that the cabin could have fit into with room for shoes. I did not complain.

After a while Jack suggested I might get some sleep and so I went below. The constant motion underfoot was something I’d have to get used to. My only knowledge of sailing ships came from movies I’d seen. I tried not to think about storms at sea.

I removed my bonnet and jacket and lay down on the bunk. It was about the size of a single bed and I think Jack was right about sleeping in shifts but I wouldn’t have minded if he lay down with me. It didn’t take long for me to come to the conclusion that sleep would not be visiting me tonight.

I’d been in the bunk for about an hour when Jack came in and doused the light.

“Are you awake?”

“Yes,” I sat up, “I can’t sleep. Why the darkness are you coming to bed?”

“We are running without light or colors.”

“Why?”

“Because we have reached the mouth of the Savannah River. The Americans may not like to see an English ship this close to shore. It was the Captain’s call and I agree.”

“If I can’t sleep why don’t you take a turn?”

“I’d rather remain on deck until we are safely out of the channel and the sun’s up.” I heard him hesitate at the door.

“Try and get some sleep.” And then he was gone.

I tried and did sleep a little. The constant motion of the ship was lulling but there were too many things crowding my mind to totally give over to a sound restful sleep.

I woke a little after dawn but I didn’t know it was dawn in our slits for window cabin. I rolled out of the bunk and made my morning absolutions from the small pitcher of water Killick had supplied the night before. I straightened my dress and my hair and climbed up on deck looking for Jack. I found him with his spyglass checking the horizon for sails.

“Good morning.” I moved over to his side.

“Good day to you, Mrs. Treadwell,” he smiled and handed me the glass directing it toward another sail not that far away.

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s an American brig cruising about. I’ve been watching him for some time now.”

“What’s he up to?”

“I think he’s probably watching us.”

I peered through the glass. “I don’t think I like him watching us.”

Jack chuckled. “I do not believe he means to attack us or he would have positioned himself for a fight.”

“Attack us!”

Jack smiled and took the glass from my hands before it went into the water.

I gave him a look. “You’re just having me on aren’t you?”

“Have you had breakfast?”

“No, I don’t know where to go.”

“Killick…Killick there-“ He called out in a voice the American’s must have heard.

Killick appeared out of nowhere and was instructed to see me to breakfast and that he would be having a sleep.

I carefully climbed back down the ladder with Jack at the base of it ready to catch me. I followed Killick to a long narrow table with benches attached to the floor. The smell of food did something to my stomach. I’d not been the least bit seasick and had no intention of starting now.

Several other passengers were at the table along with one of the ships officers. Killick brought coffee and served me breakfast which consisted of some boiled ham and fried eggs with thick slabs of toast. To my own surprise, I cleaned my plate.

The other passengers were all English and while none of them spoke to me I listened to their conversations. The word impressments kept coming up but I didn’t know what it meant. I would remember to ask Jack. I went back up on deck after breakfast and was grateful for fresh air. I found a spot near where Jack had been sitting. The sun was warm on my face and the wind had picked up a little since I’d been up before.

“Good morning, Mrs. Treadwell.”

It was Dr. Maturin. “Good morning to you.” I shaded my eyes while he found a place to sit.

“Where’s  your fine husband this morning?” he asked.

“I believe he’s gone to bed. He spent the night out here. Have you known him long?”

“I have known him for some time. We’ve sailed together for probably eight years now. I’m his ships doctor.”

“Oh…his ship?”

“He’s the captain.” He smiled at my obvious ignorance. “I also call him friend. I must say I was surprised to find him married. Have you known him long…he’s never been one to keep secrets from me.”

“Um, no, not long at all.”

“You’re an American.”

“Yes. You aren’t English are you?” I detected a slightly different accent.

“No, I’m half Irish and half Catalan.”

“How did you meet him?”

“I met him at the opera and I thought he was rude and obnoxious but I later relented. He was only enjoying the music. He had his first command and I was a penniless surgeon he took pity on and gave a berth.”

“The opera,” I tried to picture him at an opera. I’d never attended one in my life.

“I’m not sure it was my medical skill or my cello that brought me on board but we’ve become good friends over the years. He plays a fine fiddle.”

“Does he?”

“Exactly how long have you known him?”

I took a breath and considered whether I should lie or tell the truth. “I’ve known him for three days, Dr. Maturin.”

He looked shocked but tried to hide it.

“It’s rather a strange story and I’ll let him tell you.”

“Are you with child?” He asked quietly.

I must have turned three shades of red. “No.” Certainly not…no chance of that.

“I didn’t mean to pry into your personal-“

“No offense taken.” I replied with a smile.

He looked at me with some interest perhaps trying to figure out why his friend had married me without inviting him to the wedding.

The sails flapped about overhead and I looked up.

“We’ve changed course.” He remarked and stood up looking toward the horizon.

“What does that mean?” I stood too looking toward the horizon.

“I’m not sure.” He shaded his eyes with his hand.

I looked for the American schooner that had been watching us and saw that it had come up on the other side still some distance away but its distinctive sails were recognizable. Beyond it lay the distant lump of land that was Savannah and its sea islands.

“This is not a military ship is it, I mean it’s not a Royal Navy vessel?”

“No it’s a privateer probably captured from Napoleon. It’s French built. It may have been captured from the Americans.”

“What does impressment mean?”

“Ah, that’s an action used by the English to increase their Navy. They capture a ship and press its men into service for His Majesty. Ships and sailors are in short supply at present. The Americans  are complaining loudly and it probably factors in to their wanting war with England.”

“Really, do they really want war?”

“There are those in Washington that do and your Madison is one of them.” He pulled out his glass and looked over the horizon.

I looked too but could see nothing but the sun reflecting off the water. The horizon seemed to blend into the sky in a yellowish mist.

“If you sailed with Captain Treadwell how did you end up in Savannah?”

He closed his glass and waited for me sit back down on the locker. “He received word that his father was gravely ill, an illness of the mind. I offered to go with him and he accepted. Our ship had been lost off the coast of Africa and we’d limped home on an Indiaman. He was between commands a condition which will most certainly be remedied when we reach port.”

“He’ll go to sea again.”

“Yes, Jack was born for it. He’s one of the best fighting captains on the seas.”

I took a deep breath and looked out again at the disappearing lump of land. The questions I had about what would happen when we reached England were fast coming to the forefront. Dr. Maturin seemed to know him well and there were a lot of questions I would have liked to ask but I kept them silent. What I really needed was a long and informative conversation with my husband.

How strange that sounded to me. My husband.

“I’ve enjoyed our little talk, Dr. Maturin, but I think I’m going to the cabin for a bit.”

“It’s been my pleasure, Mrs. Treadwell.”

Chapter 2

As quietly as I could I opened the door to our cabin. He was already up fastening his pants. For a moment I wished I’d been a little earlier but I hid the smile.

“You’re up already. What have you had about four hours sleep?”

He glanced up at me and sat down to pull on his boots. “As much as you had surely. What’s afoot?”

“Sorry?”

“We’ve changed directions have you any idea why?”

“No…how did you know that?”

He smiled and offered me coffee Killick had brought him.

I took a cup and sat down on the top of my trunk. “That American brig is between us and land now other than that I have no idea.”

“Hmm,” he sipped his hot coffee, “nothing else?”

“Dr. Maturin joined me for a chat and had his glass out but there was nothing to see. Are you expecting trouble, Jack?”

“Always.” He sat on the side of the bunk. “What did you chat about?”

“You,” I looked into my cup and took a small sip, “he says you’re one of the best fighting captains at sea and that when we reach England you’ll go back to sea.”

“I will as soon as a ship is found for me. I’m an officer in His Majesty’s Royal Navy. I go where and when I’m told.”

“Well, while you’re doing what you’re told…what’s to become of me?”

“I will provide for you, Ella. You’ll need a place to live and once you’ve obtained your divorce you may do as you will.”

“What makes you think I want a divorce. I’m hardly married.”

“I know what you are referring to and the fact that it has not been…consummated should make it all the easier for you.”

I looked away at the worn floorboards, the one velvet chair and small table. I looked at the homily stitched and framed on the wall. I looked anywhere except at him. It was clear to me now. It wasn’t me who he was thinking of it was himself.  He hadn’t invited me through his gate I’d stepped over on my own. He was kind and duty bound by nature and I knew he was trying to do the right thing by me as he saw it. I was an unwanted and unneeded distraction.

I didn’t trust myself to speak and so I sipped the coffee and said nothing.

Finally he spoke my name and the way he pronounced it sounded like Ellie. I looked up at him then.

“Why did you marry me?” I asked.

“I told you. To protect you aboard ship…to save your reputation.”

“I don’t have a reputation to save. I’m newly hatched. You could have left me behind as you wanted to.”

It was his turn to look elsewhere.

“It was me that came to you not the other way around. I can understand you don’t want me or need me. I thought I recognized something in you before I ever crossed over but maybe I was mistaken. I was unhappy and lonely and probably transposed those feelings onto you. I had no way of knowing otherwise.

“If you want a divorce then you’ll have it. I’ll find a way to exist in a world I don’t recognize or understand. Maybe that gate will open for me again and I’ll just disappear.” It was a fine speech but I blew it by starting damned tears.

He was visibly moved by what I’d said but I was so involved in trying to snuff back tears I missed it all.  He stood up and came to me taking my cup and setting it down he pulled me from the trunk and put his arms around me holding me close to him. My face lay on his bare chest where his shirt hadn’t been buttoned up. I could hear his heart beating rapidly and I closed my eyes squeezing out the last of my tears.

He rested his cheek on the top of my head. “You are very perceptive, Ellie.”

It might have been a real moment except for the lurch the ship took sending the coffee cups to the floor. Jack grabbed the coffee pot before it crashed to the floor and he handed it to me.

“Stay here.” He was out the door in a flash.

Still holding the scalding pot I climbed on the bunk to look out of the slit over the bed. There wasn’t anything to see except water whizzing by. We were picking up speed. I climbed back down and set the pot on the floor. Something was ‘afoot’ and I longed to climb up and find out what was going on.

The door opened suddenly and Killick stepped in carrying Jack’s coat and his weapons. “Where is he?”

“He went up, what’s going on?”

“Man o war and a convoy.”

“What?” but he was gone looking for Jack.

Man o war and Jack needed weapons! I went domestic picking up the cups and saucers and securing the coffee pot in a tight space I took the bowl and pitcher off the table and looked around for anything else that might go flying. I was back up on the bunk again peering out of the slit when I heard a distant explosion. I still couldn’t see anything so I climbed back down and opened the door. There was a lot of activity down by the ladder. Our neighbor was also at his door and inside his cabin I could hear a woman talking and a child crying.

“What is it?” I asked the man.

He looked at me and answered, “I think we may be under attack.”

I withdrew back into our cabin and huddled in the corner of the bunk. Why would we be attacked and by who? The more I thought about it I began to realize that probably my own countrymen were firing at us. My countrymen? Were they really mine anymore? The ship was rocking and rolling through the water and still the explosions were coming…guns…big guns.

I’m not sure I was afraid it was more of a waiting to see what would happen. We hadn’t been hit and we were moving quite rapidly now. Dr. Maturin opened my door.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes,” I moved to the edge of the bunk. “What’s going on?”

“We’ve run into an American convoy. There’s a man o war and four other ships. Jack thinks they’re coming from the West Indies, probably laden with goods and the man o war is escorting them. Why they want to take shots at us is the question. The captain has changed course again and is trying to outrun them but we’re outclassed. It may just be a manner of time.”

“I’m sorry but I’m not versed in naval warfare, what do you mean are they going to sink us?”

“I doubt that, more likely take us as a prize.”

“But…Jack’s an officer.”

His expression changed immediately. Even I knew he’d be taken prisoner.

“I’m going back up on deck. He sent me to make sure you were all right.”

“Thank you.”

Now I was afraid more for Jack than anything. Why had he wanted his jacket couldn’t he have passed himself off as a banker or something? Another  loud report and this one closer. We were firing back now and each time the ship shuddered. I was beginning to dread what was coming…if Dr. Maturin was correct it was just a matter of time.

On and on it went and I thought we had slowed down. I covered my ears to block out the booming guns. There was a great explosion and the ship shook with the impact. We’d been hit. I could hear the screams above me and the splintering wood and I rolled myself into a ball and prayed. The coffee pot lost its mooring and slid across the floor spilling coffee in its wake. The pitcher and bowl crashed upon the side of the bunk… but the firing stopped.

I gingerly climbed of the bunk kicking the broken shards of the bowl out of my way. I had to know about Jack. Out in the passageway was pure chaos. There were two other families on the ship and they were trying to get the women up the ladder and up top was a young man not more than 15 or so telling them they were to stay below. There was a lot of yelling back and forth and I pushed my way through it, pushed the woman off the ladder and dared the young man to send me back down.

“It’s the Captain’s lady,” I heard someone say when I reached the deck strewn with wood and debris. Word must have passed quickly for I saw him coming toward me and I breathed a sigh of relief.

“What are you doing up here? He barked at me.

“I just wanted to see if you were all right.”

The ship was beginning to list to one side and something came rolling toward me. He lifted me up and out of the way.

“Go below until I come for you.”

“They aren’t going to take us are they, they aren’t going to take you are they?”  I cried as he shifted me toward the ladder.

He pulled me to one side and I could see he was hot and sweaty and blackened with powder and in no mood to deal with me but he was exercising great patience.

“Look there do you see? He’s been chased away by the Guerriere.”

“One of ours?”

He looked down at me with a half grin, “one of ours. Once he’s dispatched him he’ll come back for us or send a boat.”

“Are we sinking?”

“No but the rudder is gone. They’ve lowered the boats to steer her until rescue comes.”

“I was so afraid for you.”

He looked down at himself, “It was nothing, I was directing fire…a dirty job. Go below now.”

I went down the ladder and answered questions about our state as I made my way back to our cabin. I was all right now that I knew.

Jack was filthy and the bowl was broken but the pitcher miraculously still held water. I found towels in my trunk and lay them out. I had no idea where Jack’s trunk was but I assumed Killick was in charge of it.

I sat down to wait.

Chapter 3

Killick was the first in with a pail of water and a clean shirt and coat for Jack.

“Isn’t there any warm water?” I asked.

He looked at me as if I spoke a different language. “He’d as likely jump in the sea as God made him  if no women was here.”

I stared at him.

“Fires is out in the kitchen but I’ll see what I can do.” He mumbled off down the passageway.

Still no sign of Jack. I found a cake of soap in my trunk.

Killick came back with lukewarm water he said he’d found in a teakettle.

Finally he appeared and the water was now cold. He threw off his coat and sat down on the bunk. “There’s a schooner on its way, The Bream, I think it is.”

He looked around at the wash station and glanced up at me. “You may be more comfortable in the mess.”

“Why? Aren’t we married? Just because we don’t consummate doesn’t mean I can’t attend your bath.”

“Ellie, you are the most…very well.” He unbuckled his cutlass and tossed it on the bunk. The vest came off and the shirt over his head.

Oh, how I wanted to run my hands over that fine chest but I sat quietly noticing the scars on his body and handed him a towel. He picked up the soap and smelled it giving me a raised brow he set about washing himself. There was something very sensual about watching him run his hands over his own body. He roughly dried himself and pulled the clean shirt over his head.

I pulled Chloe’s hairbrush from my skirts. “Sit down and at least let me brush your hair back.”

He sat down on the side of the bunk and I untied the leather lace  and freed his hair. Long smooth strokes through his thick blond hair and I caught it up in my hand and reached for the tie. His eyes were closed. Tell me he didn’t want me to touch him. I tied his hair back  and moved away from him. If I hadn’t I’m not sure what I would have done.

I half staggered back and sat down in the velvet chair still holding the brush. He gave me a long look before he stood up and reached for his jacket.

“You’ll want to get your things together. I am not certain your trunk will accompany us.”

I thought his voice was a little breathy and as for myself I couldn’t speak. I nodded and he left the room. Once I got my trembling hands under control I went to the trunk to see what was there I needed to take. I’d been wearing the same dress since the day before and I’d slept in it. I quickly changed into a pale gray dress and washed myself in the water in the pitcher. In a small drawstring bag I placed the hairbrush, a hand mirror and the soap wrapped in a towel. My own hair I tied back  with a black ribbon in the same way Jack wore his. I found hairpins had a way of falling out in the wind on deck. Digging down in the trunk I found my own bikini panties and smiled. I had no idea they were there. I stuffed them in the drawstring bag. Next I made a small bundle of two dresses, a petticoat, chemise, and a nightgown. I tied it all up in a light woolen shawl and put on the dark maroon jacket that went with the traveling outfit I’d worn the day before. I looked longingly at the pile of dresses the women sewed for me. There were six all together including my wedding dress. I told myself I’d left a whole closet full of clothes in Columbia and one more trunk along the way wasn’t going to kill me.

Killick came and collected Jack’s discarded clothes. I showed him my bundle and he took it with him.

It was Killick again who came for me escorting me up the ladder like an elderly woman…watch your step…there you are…one more and up again.

He took me to Jack and disappeared in the crowd waiting to get off the ship. I don’t know what I expected but way down below in the water was a boat and leading to it was a roped net looking thing.

“I’m not expected to climb down that thing am I?” I looked up at him with my mouth open.

He grinned, “You’ll get the hang of it.”

“More likely I’ll hang myself.” But he was only kidding me. A hammock like chair was being used to lower the women. I watched over the side as the plump woman with the young child swung back and forth a few times before she was grabbed by the Bream’s sailors.

Jack went over the side nimbly climbing down the rope thing like a monkey. I took my chances in the hammock. It was he who grabbed me when I came over the boat. I went directly into his arms to his embarrassment and the delight of the sailors.

After a short paddle we faced a similar arrangement for boarding on the other end. This time I elected to climb the rope ladder. It wasn’t easy the damn thing moved every step I took but Jack was behind me ready to fish me out of the ocean when I fell. Hands came over the top to help me onto the ship. A lot of hands. I fended them off as Jack came over the top. He was recognized by some of the officers and seamen on the ship.

This was a different ship altogether. While the privateer was roughly the same size this ship was bristling with armament. The sailors were in uniform and there were red coated marines on board. I supposed I was in His Majesty’s Navy now. The captain escorted us to his cabin after all the passengers were safely on board. I saw Dr. Maturin on deck before we went below.

A lot of deference was being paid to Jack and I thought he might be a higher rank than the captain who made us comfortable in his cabin and offered refreshment…wine. All I needed on an empty stomach.

I listened to their conversation. It seems the Guerriere was in route to Halifax from Jamaica and came upon the American convoy. The man of war was taken along with the ships laden with lumber and sugar and other things needed for His Majesty’s endeavor. It sounded like highway robbery to me. No wonder the American’s were pissed off.

Jack asked about the privateer and the captain said the man of war had lost a schooner near Jamaica. So the Americans were playing the same game. After a spell of chit chat we were shown to our cabin with apologies. Jack was assured we would be transferred to the Guerriere as soon as it was possible.

I gave the swinging bed a push and looked up at Jack with a little smile. He quitted the cabin in a minute and I sat down on the swing and laughed. I felt giddy so much had happened in such a short time. I lay back on the bed and found it quite comfortable. It was also larger than the one we’d left. It rocked softly with the motion of the ship. I closed my eyes and thought if I’d gotten on the bus instead of going back for one last look I’d be home in Columbia now probably looking for a job. How boring that sounded. I didn’t think I’d ever be bored again.

I let the bed rock me to sleep.

I have no idea how long he’d been there before I became aware of him. I feigned sleep to see what he would do. He pushed a lock of hair off my forehead. Yes…touch me I silently willed. I moved slightly and he cleared his throat. A signal for me to wake. I turned over in the bed away from him. His hand landed on the curve of my hip.

“Ellie, you need to wake up we’re being transferred to the Guerriere.”

“Hmm?” I turned over throwing an arm behind him.

“Captain Dacres has sent his barge over for us.”

“Now?”

“Now.”

I raised up in the bed and yawned. “When do we get to eat and sleep?” I moved over to the edge and slipped out of the swinging bed.

“We’re to dine with Captain Dacres tonight.”

“Did you say we are moving house and home tonight?”

“Ah, yes I think I did.” He smiled and I wanted to kiss him and so I did. He responded gently and set me apart from him.

I made light of our situation since I had my kiss. “All this moving about; I’ll never get to plant my tulip bulbs. It’s a good thing we don’t have much furniture. Mattresses are a pain to carry up and down gangplanks. Not to mention the sofa cushions and bits of china I like to collect.”

He laughed at me and said, “Someday, Ellie, you will plant your tulips.”

I quickly turned around on him. “Promise me that.”

He looked into my eyes, “I will make you that promise.”

“White picket fence, cat in the house, dog in the yard, kids at the playground, two cars in the garage.” I know he knew nothing of what I was saying. I was buttoning up my little jacket trying not to cry again.  Something about being close to him as I was standing brought out my girlish tears. I wanted so much more…more than he was willing to give me. However, now was not the time since a barge was waiting for us. I straightened my shoulders and told him I was ready to move.

The cool night air felt good on my hot face. We said our good- byes to the captain and over the side we went. Some distance away a large shape was visible in lantern light. It was the Guerriere, frigate, man of war.

Jack was greeted heartily and I had the impression he and Captain Dacres were well acquainted with each other. Another small cabin awaited us and I understood we’d displaced the Lieutenant. I looked at the narrow bunk and sighed. Jack’s chest was already in the room and his best uniform was laid out on the bed.

“Is this a formal dinner?” I asked.

“The captain’s table is always formal.”

I looked down at my wrinkled gray dress. “I hope Killick put my clothes in your trunk.” Jack opened it and my bundle was packed next to his dirty laundry. I’d brought two dresses with me, one was a yellow cotton day dress and the other a pale blue silk. The blue silk was my dress up costume.

The small cabin was lit by a single hanging lantern that we both had to move around to keep from upsetting it. It looked like we were going to have to undress in front of each other if we hoped to arrive at the captain’s table on time. I ignored his sensibilities and unbuttoned my jacket tossing it casually on the bed I began undoing the dress I was wearing. I got down to his mother’s second best underclothes and looked him straight in the eye. “You’ll have to button me into this dress. All the fastenings are in the back.”

He was lagging behind and had only removed his coat, cutlass and boots. I put on my clean petticoat, only one and the dress slipped over my head. There was a bit a low neck and I fussed around with it feeling his fingers on my back and my nipples hardening. The sexual tension between us was becoming tangible. You could almost pluck it from the air and tuck it down in your bosom.

Jack wears nothing beneath his buff colored pants. A fact he tried to conceal from me with my hand mirror angled just so.

Chapter 4

What can I say, it was a jolly happy ship. The captain’s dinner went well and I was seated next to Dr. Maturin who was fast becoming my friend. There was a difference in him, I could detect, from the English gentlemen around me. He spoke freely and was knowledgeable about most things with me but with the captains he was a little reticent.

They regaled their naval accomplishments while Dr. Maturin spoke to me of birds and plants he’d discovered. Jack, however, was in his element with a hardy here, here. I learned we were not headed for England but for Halifax. I wasn’t sure what this meant for us or for me to be more exact.

Sooner or later Dr. Maturin was going to have to be told of my situation. I used modern phrases and of course my accent was foreign even for an American of the time. The American’s I’d heard speak in Savannah still spoke with an English accent. My best bet in company was to keep my mouth shut… not easy.

I tried to keep my mouth busy with the meal in front of me. I was starving and I needed every morsel of food to soak up the wine. I will say the wine of 1812 was a lot stronger than what I was used to in 2011. The time finally came when ladies were expected to disappear into the air so the men could get down to emptying wine decanters and smoking cigars and talking dirty. I did my part and wound my way back to our cabin accompanied by a young man in uniform.

The bed looked inviting but I had a small problem. I couldn’t get out of my best dress. I removed the satin slippers, stockings, petticoat and loosened the ribbon lacing at the neckline but the dress had been sewed to fit my waist and wasn’t going over my head. As far as I knew I was the only woman on board. I crawled up on the bunk in my dress and lay there wedged against the wall in case Jack might want to sleep with me.

I woke from a sound sleep to hear him bumping around in the cabin. I’d left the lantern on but it was out now. Clothes were being discarded. I made out his coat hitting the floor. It took him a little while to get out of his clothes and he more or less fell into the bunk. He smelled of wine.

“Jack?”

He grunted and curled up spooning my back and a heavy arm came across me and his hand found my breasts but that was the last of Jack. His wine laden breath was hot on my neck. I couldn’t move for he was laying on my skirts. A growing intimacy had formed between us but this was most unpleasant. The air was bad to begin with. I buried my face in the pillow but it smelled of damp and probably countless heads that had lain on it. I felt like I was gasping for air. Finally I found a spot on my sleeve that still smelled of rose petals. Eventually I slept.

He was gone when I woke in the morning and I wanted him back, wine breath and all. Still in my dress I opened the door and looked out to see Dr. Maturin moving toward the ladder.

“Dr. Maturin,” he was a doctor after all. “I wonder if you might help me out here.”

He came at once. “Have you problem?”

“Yes,” I moved aside so he could enter the cabin. “I can’t get out of my dress and my, um, husband is nowhere in sight.”

He looked at me a little strangely and I turned around presenting my buttoned back to him. “Oh, I see.” He frowned and began unbuttoning my dress for me.

“I’m sorry to bother you with this but Jack was out like a light last night and gone when I woke up.”

“I believe he had a few cups last night.”

“A lot of cups. Thank you, I’d be embarrassed if you weren’t a doctor.” I clutched the dress to my front.

“No reason to be embarrassed.”

“What time is it do you know, I’ve probably missed breakfast?”

He pulled out a pocket watch, “Just going eight and breakfast is available to you when you want it.” He hesitated at the door, “I can send Killick with a pot of coffee or tea.”

“Coffee, please…thank you.”

I grabbed the slept on blanket from the bed and wrapped it around myself waiting for Killick. I noticed the skirt had torn from the waist of my dress where Jack had laid on it. Bless Killick, he also brought me a pitcher of water and a bowl. I asked him about a needle and thread and he looked at the dress and took it with him.

I indulged myself in a thorough sponge bath and put on the yellow dress…and my bikini panties. No one would know what was under my dress, certainly not my husband. I’d given up the restricting corset back in Savannah but I did wear two petticoats and stockings.

After a quick breakfast in the officer’s mess with three teenage boys who kept elbowing each other and looking at my bosom I wrapped the shawl around me and went up to find my husband.

One of the junior officers who I’d met at dinner and forgotten his name greeted me.
“Good morning, Mrs. Treadwell.”

“Good morning. Have you seen Captain Treadwell?”

“Oh, aye, he stepped back and looked up, “he’s up there.”

I shaded my eyes and looked up. He was up on a perch of some kind far above us with his glass pointed toward the horizon. I gasped and covered my mouth.”

The young man laughed, “I wouldn’t worry, Mrs. Treadwell.” He touched his forehead and moved off about his business.

I stared up at him until I became dizzy and moved over reaching for a guide line. All about me were busy men casting an eye in my direction and then looking shyly away.

Dr. Maturin had seen me and came forward directing me to where he’d been sitting with a book.

“What is he doing?” I asked.

“That’s nothing unusual for Jack. Did you breakfast?”

“I did yes,” I looked back up into the cross tees. He was a big man and the little wooden perch looked so tiny from down here. I moved over and sat down beside of him.

“Have you not talked to him this morning?”

“No, this is the first I’ve seen of him. He left the cabin before I woke up.”

“Hmm, he was rather in a bad way earlier and seemed to think he’d…well disgraced himself.”

“With me?” I laughed a little, “Well, if he thinks reeking of wine and grunting like a pig and snoring half the night puts him in disgrace…then he is.”

Dr. Maturin smiled and looked up at the cross tee. “I’ve known him for a long time and I’ve not seen him in such a state of drunkenness before.”

“It’s probably due to me. He’s not used to having to worry so about another in his care at least I don’t think so. I’m a burden to him.” I sighed audibly.

Dr. Maturin gave me a sideways look. “I don’t believe that is the case. You see he never thought he’d marry. I think he simply does not know what to do with you. He’s not a land animal, Mrs. Treadwell, this is his world right here.”

“A wife doesn’t fit here does it? There’s no room here for me.”

“Well, this isn’t his ship. If it were then he’d make room for you.”

“He promised me I’d get to plant my tulips.” I bit my lip.

“Pardon?”

“He’s coming down.” Quickly and as sure footed as if he’d climbed a ladder to paint  the eaves he came down the ropes. He stood about talking to some men for a moment and then turned around looking my way. Someone had told him I was there.

“Good morning,” his eye rested on me for just a moment before he looked at Stephen Maturin.

“See anything up there, Jack?”

“Nothing to worry about.”

“I think I’ll go and check on my patient that Dr. Hamilton has entrusted into my care.” Stephen rose to go.

“Ah.” Jack raised his chin and cast a quick glance at me.

I knew he was hoping Dr. Maturin would stay around so he wouldn’t have to talk to me.

I went right to it. “I hear you’re in disgrace.”

He smiled slightly and sat down beside of me. “Stephen talks too much.”

“I also hear last night was a rare thing for you. I’m glad of that because sleeping in such close quarters could be a problem.”

“I owe you an apology. You are correct I usually hold my drink but I let it get away from me last night. I’m very sorry for your inconveniences. It won’t happen again. I find there is room in the midshipman’s berth for me.”

“No,” I took his hand. “I’ll not have you sleeping with giggling, sniveling little boys. You belong with me. You’re my husband whether you want to be or not.”

He laced his fingers with mine. “I have not said that I did not want to be your husband. You will agree it has been difficult.”

“Yes it has. We’ve hardly had a moment.”

“That is true. I’m sure you heard last night that we are headed for Halifax and not to England.”

“Yes and I’m not sure what that means for us.”

“It means that obtaining your divorce will have to be postponed for awhile.”

“Divorce…didn’t you just say you wanted to be my husband?”

He looked at me with those sea glass eyes questioning and hesitant.

“Jack, let’s forget about divorce. We haven’t even been married yet.”

“I suggest you don’t forget about it. We hardly know each other and I’m sure once you do…get to know me you’ll be glad for the way out.”

“No, no…there is no way out for me.” There wasn’t and if he was honest with himself he knew it too. I was falling in love with him. Not just lust but love. I didn’t try to hide my feelings for him but he hid his from me.

Chapter 5

By the time we reached Halifax the war between England and America was fact. The port was cluttered with ships taken from the Americans. Jack, I could tell, was eating it up. I heard him remark to Dr. Maturin ‘think of the prize money’. I didn’t realize at the time what he was referring to but it was explained at the dinner table one night. I still thought it highway robbery no matter who’s prize it was.

To avoid the marriage bed, Jack somehow contrived to have himself put on duty. Captain Dacres was all too accommodating giving him night watch. He could call it what he would but I knew why he walked the decks at night. He didn’t trust himself with me and I was no help at all. He was still holding out for that divorce which would NOT be forthcoming unless he divorced me and he was too much of a gentleman to do that. I adopted a rather amused stance.

When we cruised into Halifax I had no idea what to expect. There was great excitement on the Guerriere at the sighting of the Shannon.  Captain Philip Vere Broke was in command of the frigate and the squadron that consisted of the Africa, a small ship of the line, The Belvedera, The Aeolus and also the Guerriere would fall under his command.

I had to admit the Shannon was an imposing looking ship and it’s captain I’d been told was well respected and had a number of notches on his belt so to speak. He was a fighting captain…like my own who was now nearly salivating over the prospects.

Once we docked, Jack and Dr. Maturin went ashore to find ‘suitable lodgings’ . I was left with Killick to look after me. Not that I needed looking after but Killick was always happy to have something to do for me. He did Jack’s laundry and I’d thrown mine in as well. What he thought about washing up my bloomers I didn’t know but they along with everything else came back clean and ironed.

I’d never in my life had a servant but there were times I longed for Salt who took particularly good care of me and seemed to know what I was thinking before I spoke. I’d not spoken to another woman since we were shifted to the Guerriere. With Salt I could have opened up and talked to her about Jack and my feelings for him but as it were I bottled it all up inside. Sometimes when I was alone in the cabin it spilled over into salty tears.

I spent most of the day on deck watching the activity around me. The Guerriere was taking on supplies and some repairs were being made. I thought I saw the privateer we were on farther down the line and I asked Killick to find out if it were so and could I possibly have my trunk back.

It was very late in the evening when Jack returned all astir. It seems he’d got an invitation to Captain Broke’s table for dinner.

“Well, how fortunate for you.” I remarked.

“The invitation is extended to you as well.”

“Really…a big formal to-do then?”

“Ah, yes…best dress.” He smiled and began unwinding his neck cloth.

Jack was used to my talk by now and understood most of it. “I got my trunk back today.”

“From the Reamer?”

“Yes, I sent Killick down for it.” I opened the trunk and began rummaging about. I spotted my wedding dress and pulled it out. It was about the most formal thing I possessed. “It needs pressing.” I looked it over while Jack opened the door and went looking for Killick.

I propped the hand mirror up on a shelf and had a look at myself. I was tanned from spending time on the deck without a hat and my hair was sun streaked. I could imagine the pasty faced women’s regard of me around the table tonight. Throw in the absence of a corset and I already knew what sort of talk would begin about Captain Treadwell’s wife.

With the lovely pink silk dress moving about me I was trying to do something with my hair. I brushed it to a shine and pulled it to one side and tied the ribbon.

“It’s not going to work is it? It won’t pass.” I untied the ribbon and threw it on the bunk.

“Why don’t you do it up?” Jack asked pulling on his polished boots.

“I don’t have any hairpins.”

He came up behind me gathering my hair in his hands. “You have such thick rich hair, Ellie.”

I held my breath.

“Allow me?”

“Anything.”

He made two braids from my temples to the crown of my head and twisted the back of it up catching it up in a braid he joined it all together with the black ribbon. What was left was a crown of curls on the top of my head.

“Jack, if ever the captain business goes wanting you’ve got the makings of a top notch hairdresser.” I smiled up at him and he surprised me by kissing my forehead.

“You look very beautiful.”

“Thank you.”

He stared at me a moment giving nothing away in his eyes and then turned and put on his vest making a job of buttoning it up. I smiled to myself and put the shawl around my shoulders making a job of arranging it just so.

It had never occurred to me that I might be a hindrance to Jack other than his personal albatross until I entered the Shannon. Here, arrayed in their best uniforms were the captains of Captain Broke’s squadron and also in attendance was the Governor of Canada and Admiral Provost Willis who had control of everything naval. In other words anybody who was anybody was there. Three ladies were introduced to me and I saw immediately the conflict. I was an American.

Many speculative glances were directed at me and the women were twittering behind their hands. I held my head high and attached myself to Jack. Screw ‘em I thought.

Another lady arrived breathless for being late and was greeted warmly by Admiral Willis’s wife. It turned out to be her niece and of all the females present she was the only one who smiled at me and spoke after the original introductions. I liked her immediately. She was escorted by a Marine in his bright red coat.

The dinner went on forever with the captains discussing the war and strategy and placement. I knew this dinner was important to Jack and so I figured the smartest thing I could do was to keep my mouth shut. I had been placed at the lesser end of the table which suited me fine. I could observe the manners and speech of those around me…sort of a school room for me.

“Mrs. Treadwell?” It was the niece whose name was Mary Christian.

“Yes?”

“You’re an American is that correct?”

“Yes,” I answered quietly.

“Where in America are you from?”

“I’m from South Carolina.” I used my best southern drawl.

The man on my right turned to me, “Do you know the Pinckney’s out of Charleston?”

“No, Sir, I’m from Columbia.”

Did I notice the table noise beginning to drift away?

“Well then you’ll know the Hampton’s?”

“No, Sir, my family came into Charleston many years ago but moved upstate after the Civ…later on.” I’d almost committed a sin, the Civil War was yet to come. “I am familiar with the Hampton House but I don’t know them personally.”

“Your family is in Columbia?” Someone else asked me. Oh, why wouldn’t they leave me out of it all.

“My family is here, Sir, in Captain Treadwell.”

I caught Jack’s eye and got a slight nod from him it was as good as a ‘well done’. After a bit the chatter increased and I was forgotten except by Mary Christian who was seated across and one down from me.

She leaned across the table, “I have a friend in Charleston but unfortunately I won’t be able to visit with her this summer since they’ve declared war on England. You have a very peculiar accent, Mrs. Treadwell.”

“I’m sorry about your friend, Miss Christian, my accent probably comes from growing up around people of different nationalities. You tend to pick up words and phrases and a way of saying them.”

“I see, well I think It’s lovely.” She smiled and looked at her red coated marine.

How strange that your friend yesterday is your enemy today. Men are so obtuse; women don’t declare war they just get even. I was well aware now of the causes at least some of them. The English had been obstructing trade and pressing their sailors for too long and the American’s had enough. However, their privateers were causing problems for the English and their continued trade with England’s biggest enemy France and Napoleon had fired them up. I mean England was already at war they didn’t need another one and hadn’t considered it to be important enough to worry about.  Now they were having to divide much needed resources from the Napoleonic war to America. America was trying to invade Canada and the English had armed and set Indians against the Americans. What a bloody mess.

I sipped my wine and looked around the table. These were some of England’s finest warriors and Jack was the most handsome man there. I loved listening to his voice speaking with some authority on naval matters. I was proud of him.

He wanted a ship and I was awfully glad they stopped talking to me or he’d be lucky to command a dingy.

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