Thorne: Where I Want to Be
(Direct sequel to Aubrey: Lost and Found)
By Atonia
Part 2:
Max went back outside and slumped down in a chair. He didn’t know what he’d done to set Connie off like that. Of course he’d made his choice! He didn’t have a choice but to make a choice. He looked up to see Toni and Terry coming around the house. Terry went inside and Toni came over to the table and sat down.
"You have baby grapes." She ran her hand through her hair. "Why so glum, Max?"
"Connie wants to go home."
"Anything I can do?"
"No, I don’t think so. This is something I have to do…one way or the other." He sat back in his chair and looked at her.
"We’ll be out of your hair tomorrow and things will settle down, you’ll see."
"What do you do when you can’t have what you want? Do you settle for second best?"
"Max, that’s not worthy of you."
"I don’t feel very worthy right now, Toni." He looked down at his hands.
"Don’t let her get away, Max. She’s not second best. What a thing to say! I could get angry with you."
"You’ve been angry with me before."
"Yes, I have and I don’t like it.
Terry came out of the door with Connie, waving her car keys. "Back in a bit." He winked at Toni.
"I guess he’s going to do the brotherly thing and talk her into staying," Max said, watching Terry back Connie’s car and turn down the drive.
"You want to tell me what’s wrong with you, Max?" Toni was getting irritated with him.
"You."
"That’s not fair."
"Fair or not, there it is. Making love to you in Marseilles brought it all back, not that it was very far away…ever. I love you, Toni. You just can’t imagine what it’s like for me."
"I see now that was a mistake on my part. I did it out of love for you and because I thought you needed it as much as I did."
"I bloody well need you every day," he said evenly.
"That’s not going to happen, Max. Don’t throw away what you’ve got here for something you don’t have."
"Meaning I don’t have you." Max got up and walked around the table. "I could have you."
"But you won’t do that because I won’t let you."
"You couldn’t stop me."
"You may be right. You’re very strong, Max. Jack reminded me of that. I would like to think you love me enough to let me be happy with Terry. I’d like to think the Max I love would not do that to me." As Jack had flooded her as water, Max could extinguish the fire that was Terry. Air can do that.
Max paced about. "You once said to me that we could never be friends, only lovers once removed. So where does that leave us, Toni?"
"Not arguing, I hope. Not angry with each other." Toni got up and went over to him, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You’re so easy to love, Max. Let somebody else love you and give you what I can’t give. You seemed so happy when we were at the House with John and Donna. You can be happy with Connie. She loves you."
His arms went around her holding her tightly. "I’ll always love you, Toni. I can’t…stop."
"I don’t want you to stop, but love me once removed. Can you do that, darling?"
He released her, holding her arms. "I don’t have a choice, do I? I don’t want to lose you entirely and you’re right. I couldn’t do that to you, put out Terry’s fire. Oh, Toni…it could have been so…"
Toni put her finger on his lips. "It could have been, but it isn’t." He bit her finger and she grinned.
"You’ve been right about everything else where my life is concerned. I don’t know why I should doubt you now. It’s not easy for me to admit defeat."
"I know that and you aren’t defeated, Max. You have this beautiful home and a woman to share it with you. A good life awaits you…let it happen and let go of the past. Let it go."
"I guess this is the point where I’m supposed to run to Connie’s arms and she isn’t here. She’s off with your husband. Maybe she’s in his?"
"How would you feel about that if she was?"
"I don’t think I’d like it." He tilted his head and bit his lip. "How about you? Are you as generous with Terry as he is with you?"
"No, I’m not. It’s never come up before and I’m not sure it has now, Max. He’s not generous with me, either."
"He gave you to Jack and he knows about our little afternoon in Marseilles."
"He didn’t know Jack had summoned me. He thought I’d be with him in hospital and care for him for awhile when he got out. If sex played a part of that care he was okay with that. He wasn’t okay with what happened. And as for you, he didn’t mind that afternoon, but he would if I made a habit of it."
"How many times is a habit?"
"That’s all we’d need right now is for them to come back and find us in bed. Two times is a habit."
"You thought about it, didn’t you, going to bed?"
"It…crossed my mind. I just said it. This is not helping your situation."
"It would help the situation I’ve got forming right now." He pressed her against him, his hands on her waist.
"Max!"
He chuckled, "Just for fun, for old times’ sake…a quickie?"
"You don’t do quickies," she replied
"This might be one."
"And then what?"
"Don’t complicate it."
"It’s already complicated. We can’t do this."
"Yes we can. We did yesterday in Marseilles."
"That was different."
"Why, because you started it? I’m in pain." He winced
"Well…you shouldn’t have… got like this. Think about something else."
"I can’t think. All the blood has rushed south in anticipation."
Toni rested her head on his chest and giggled. "You are incorrigible."
"No, I’m in heat. You can’t leave me like this."
"Oh, Max, what am I going to do with you?"
"You have to ask?"
"A quickie?"
"That’s my girl!" He began moving her toward the house.
"I didn’t say I would."
"You didn’t say you wouldn’t, either."
"Max, they’re coming down the drive."
"Fuck!"
"Oh, is that what you wanted to do?"
"Stand in front of me. Not that close."
Toni started laughing and then Max started. They laughed until they could hardly stand up. Terry stood leaning against the car grinning. It was a physical release, not exactly what Max intended but…
"I wonder what’s so funny?" Connie leaned on the car next to Terry.
"I’m not sure I want to know."
Toni turned around and leaned her head on Max’s chest. "I needed that!" She wiped tears from her face.
"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Max removed his glasses and wiped his own eyes.
"Quickie!" She started laughing all over again.
"Well, that was fun." Max tried to regain his composure.
"Are we interrupting something?" Terry asked with a smile, walking nearer to them.
"Not a thing," Max replied. Toni giggled.
"And here I was worried about leaving you two alone. I’m glad you’re both laughing."
"I’m sure you are, Terry," Max said with a big smile.
"No worries." Toni pulled herself upright and smiled at him.
"I’m glad we’re all so happy. Connie has decided to give Max here another go. So don’t fuck it up."
Connie walked over. "I’m sorry, Max, that I walked out."
"I’m glad you came back. Would you like to, um, go upstairs?"
"Ma-ax!"
"Well, would you?"
"Yes, I think I’d better."
After they went into the house Terry looked at Toni. "What was that all about?"
"You don’t really want to know."
He grabbed her around the waist. "You’re right, I probably don’t." Whatever it was, he was glad it ended in laughter.