By Atonia Walpole

The wagon rolled on over the rocky road its contents shifting now and again. The driver was part Apache and part Mexican and kept a sharp eye out for riders as he followed the road across the border into Mexico; he and the Priest returning after a fortnight of buying supplies for the mission.

“Heh, up,” he muttered and pulled at the Priest’s arm who was dosing on the seat next to him.

“What is it Joaquin?” and following the driver’s arm he saw something bright blue and shiny lying up under the sagebrush. “Pull up and let’s see what it is.” The Priest lightly jumped down from the wagon and walked toward the bright blue mass of silk.

Upon closer inspection it turned out to be a woman, unconscious and obviously injured. He squatted down next to her and felt her forehead; she was alive and he briefly inspected her, finding her foot at an odd angle he motioned for Joaquin to help him get her in the wagon.

“Whore,” Joaquin said and shook his head.

The Priest turned his head and looked at Joaquin, “She’s hurt, it doesn’t mater what she is, do you think the Lord would leave her on the side of the road?”

Joaquin reluctantly jumped from the wagon and helped the Priest place her between the flour sacks and nail kegs.

Upon arriving at the mission the Priest found no one would take her into their home so he had Joaquin help carry her into his own small abode. Pushing back the rough curtain he used to separate his sleeping quarters from the other room, he laid her on his bed and sent Joaquin for the old medicine woman.

The old woman arrived carrying a woven bag and set about examining the woman in the Priest’s bed. She clucked her tongue and cleaned and applied a salve to her forehead wound, wrapping a strip of cloth around her dark shinning curls and easing her head back on the pillow. She felt the woman’s foot and removed her stocking, it was blue and swollen so she wrapped it tight enough for it not to move and rose to her feet. She told the Priest to get rid of the woman, devil’s spawn she had called her as she left. The Priest came over to have a look at the ‘devil’s spawn’. She had a mass of dark shinning black hair and porcelain skin flushed with red on her cheeks and lips. The old woman had covered her with a blanket before she left, but her soft rounded arms and small hands were lying uncovered beside her. He blinked and walked out to help unload the wagon.

She awoke in the darkness and screamed, the Priest came running and pulled the curtains back letting the light from the outer room find its way to the bed.

“I’m not dead?” she asked in a low voice

“No, thank God, you’ve only injured, your foot.” Said the Priest trying to reassure her.

“Well leave that curtain open I don’t like confined spaces, where the hell am I anyway?”

The Priest explained where he’d found her and that he’d brought her to the mission.

“You mean I’m lying in a Priest’s bed, oh Padre you might watch out the walls just might come tumblin’ down.” She laughed “I need a drink.”

“I’ve got some coffee made.” He offered

“Too much to hope you might have some whiskey hidden somewhere? Alright coffee will be fine.” She pulled herself up leaning against the headboard and winced as she moved her left foot. “Thanks for the coffee…Padre.” She took the cup sipping the hot liquid and looked at him over the rim.

Her direct look took him back a pace, deep violet eyes fringed in black, she was beautiful despite the lopsided bandage around her head. “I was…just puttin’ together a meal I reckon you’re hungry too?”

“Yeah, I could use a bite to eat, you ain’t no padre, I’ve seen plenty of them in my life and they’re dried up old men, who are you anyway?”

“The name’s Cort, Cortland Wells and I am a Priest, I’ll just get your food.” He turned and walked back to his makeshift kitchen.

“Cort, I like that it’s short and strong but it ain’t a Priest’s name.” She turned and watched him dishing up something in a plate and thought ‘he ain’t got a priest’s body either.’ She sat back and smiled. He brought her plate over and took his to a small table placing his plate in front of him he bowed his head.

“You think that’s gonna make it taste any better, Cort?” a low chuckle from the bed, “You ain’t much of a cook but I thank you for the food.” They finished their meal in silence and he came and took her plate from her and cleaned up the dishes.

“You haven’t told me your name ma’am or how you ended up under the sagebrush?” He said as he pulled his chair from the table and sat facing her.

She lifted her chin and met his eyes, “My name is Lou De Gaulain and I’m from New Orleans. It wasn’t my intention to end up in the sagebrush, my horse threw me…rattlesnake spooked him early this mornin’.”

“You’re a long way from New Orleans, how did you get out here?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions, what do you care? I made a mistake don’t we all make mistakes?”

“Yes, I guess we do,” he said softly and looked down at his hands. “It’s what we do with the rest of our lives that count.

“Do you really believe that rot, Cort? I reckon next you’ll be tryin’ to forgive me my sins well I don’t want forgiveness. I reckon sin is like beauty; some folks would say I’m beautiful and some would say I look sinful sort of depends on where you’re comin’ from, you know what I mean? A good man thought I was beautiful and took me for his wife, he turned out to be sinful.” She looked up at him.

“Were you runnin’ away from him, had he hurt you?”

“Yeah, runnin’ away you see I don’t mind giving myself over to love but I ain’t gonna be raped, He couldn’t get it up unless he raped me, now I got tired of that Cort and short of killin’ the son of a bitch I took off on his horse. And here I am with you now.” She cocked her head and smiled.

Cort stared at her a minute, “I’ll let you get some rest.” He pushed his chair back to the table and went over to a cupboard bringing out some blankets and arranging them on the floor.

“Ooooh, I’ve put you out of your bed tonight, sorry, Cort you could join me if you’d like I’d make room for you.”

“No thanks, I’ve got a bed on the floor.”

“I sure hate to think of you layin’ on that cold floor all by yourself it’ll make your bones hurt. You know I can’t remember anybody ever turnin’ down an invitation to my bed. Of course I don’t think I ever slept with a priest, not wearin’ a collar anyway. Yeah dried up old men but not you, no you’re young with a strong body underneath that collar, nothin’ dried up about you unless of course you prefer boys or maybe you can’t get it up, is that it, Cort?”

“Go to sleep, Lou,” he said from the pallet on the floor

“Ha, ha, ha, I thought that’d get a rise out of you, yeah, rise up, Cort ha, ha. Why in the world would a good lookin’ man like you with all the obvious equipment want to be a priest, it’s a waste, a waste I tell ya. Every man needs a woman now and again and you’re no different you can suppress it honey but it’ll bounce right back up at ya, ha, ha.”

“Lou, please just go to sleep.” Cort rolled over on his back and closed his eyes

“How long has it been, Cort since you had a woman?” she said softly from the alcove “I know you aren’t celibate, not with your eyes. I’d love to run my hands up and down your back, get my hands in your hair, wrap my legs around your hips, yeah pull you close and lick your lips…”

“Lou! That’s enough.” His voice was low and curt. Cort was sitting with his back against the wall staring into the darkness that was the alcove.

“Is it getting’ to you, honey?” a low chuckle “It’s getting’ to me too just thinkin’ about how your weight would feel on top of me. How your hands would feel on my soft body caressing…” she heard the door close and laughed out loud.

He stood out side the door pushing his cock into a more comfortable position. She was the ‘devil’s spawn’, temptation lain out before him. It had been five years since Ellen in Redemption. He’d come back and rebuilt his mission for orphans and at last taken his vows. Five years he hadn’t wanted to think about a woman but had poured himself and his soul into rebuilding. Perhaps this was God’s plan to send her here to test him. He dropped his head ashamed of his weakness and prayed.

By the time he felt he could face her and went back inside Lou had drifted off to sleep, whimpering every once in awhile as if in pain. He steeled himself against the urge to comfort her and lay back down on his blankets.

He was up at dawn feeling stronger with the light and washed his face and hands and changed his shirt, aware the curtains were open to the alcove. He had not looked in on her and had heard no sound from her this morning. He put the coffee pot on and started a pan of bacon when he heard her stirring. He turned to see her standing balancing on one foot and holding on to the wall.

“I need to pee, Cort,” she stared unsmiling into his eyes.

Cort found the enamel jar and handed it to her, pulling the curtains together. After she was finished she set it outside the curtains and Cort took it behind his house and dumped it on the ground. When he returned she was sitting on side of the bed unwinding the bandage around her head.

“You should leave that alone and let it heal,” he said

“I want to see what it looks like,” she held a small mirror up to her face turning and adjusting her hair to cover it.

“Can I get you anything, breakfast will be ready in a minute.” He said from the stove.

“Yeah, a bathtub full of hot water and some good smellin’ soap, a brush and comb.”

“Sorry I don’t have those things here, Lou.”

“I know you don’t, but you asked. What do you do here what kind of priestly duties do you have, Cort?”

“It’s an orphanage, I teach.” He didn’t want to get into a conversation with her this morning.

She put her mirror down and looked at him, “You teach, like teach school or something?”

“Yeah, that’s what I do…and there are christenings, weddings, funerals and Sunday Mass. I visit the sick and offer what comfort I can.” As soon as the last words were out of his mouth he could have bit his tongue.

“Got you own little world here don’t you? Your own little flock to shepherd, and I guess they think you’re God. A fine place to escape to, Cort.” She watched as he turned with a strange look on his face. “I got it right didn’t I?” she smiled.

He brought her plate to the table, “You want some help to get to the table?”

“No thanks, I think I’ll have my breakfast in bed if you don’t mind, besides I don’t want to spoil your meal. I’m probably not fit company for breakfast tables.” She smiled.

He brought her a plate and she looked up at him, “Now dinner table is another matter, I might join you for dinner.”

Cort gave her a cold look and went to the table.

After the meal he left to teach his morning classes. Lou had nothing to occupy her time and looked around for something to read. Finding nothing except a well worn Bible, she hopped over to the table and sat down, resting her head on her arms on the table. She had to get out of here and soon, she’d go crazy in a place like this.

Cort found her still at the table when he came back. He set the cold coffee back on the stove and leaned against it looking at her back. She sat straight in a chair without touching the rungs of the chair back. Her hair hung nearly to her small waist in a tangle of dark curls.

She turned her head slightly, “Finished filling the little heads with Jesus this morning?”

“They are learning to read and write in English as well as Spanish.”

“There’s nothing here to read, Cort, I looked this morning no books except that.” She pointed to the Bible.

“I have a few books in the school room, I don’t just teach Bible.” He poured out two cups of coffee and set one in front of her.

“Is that what you always wanted to be when you grew up, a teacher? I wonder where the priest part came in?”

“Did you always want to be a whore?” he caught himself, “I’m sorry that wasn’t necessary?”

“No, I like honesty and whether I wanted to be a whore or not was never in question. For the daughter of one what else is there? I’ve been on my back since I was fifteen. I have never denied what I am, nor have I flaunted it in public, although I have been well known in some parts.” She sipped her coffee and asked again “What did you want to be, Cort, you never said did you?”

“I don’t remember; I’ve been a lot of things, Lou.” He stopped himself and brought the cup to his lips.

“A lot of things…you think this is going to make up for all those…things?”

“No but maybe it will allow me some grace. I’ve a lot to make up for.”

“You’re doing penance here ain’t you, darlin’?”

“I don’t see it that way, I’m doin’ what I want to do with what’s left of my life.”

She studied him across the table, “You’re too young, Cort, to be stuck in a place like this. Why, this is where the dried up old men go, you don’t want to end up like that. Hell, if you wanna teach do it, but not hiding behind a collar. You need a woman to come home to at the end of the day, somebody to love you and care for you. Have you ever been in love?”

He met her eyes across his cup, “No, I’m not sure I know what it is. Do you, I mean you got married, you must have loved somebody?”

“It was a marriage of convenience honey, he was a respectable man from out of town and I didn’t meet him on my back. It was a way out for me but then it turned out bad as I told you. I was in love once when I was around nineteen, but he was married and I was just his whore.” She tilted her head and gave him a wistful smile.

“I’m married to the church, Lou, I took my vows.” He pushed his chair back and looked toward the Bible on the table.

“Small comfort that will be on a cold night…”

“Please don’t start that again, Lou, please.” He looked into her eyes.

She stared into his eyes reading more than he would have liked her to see. He had such an open face, but his eyes gave him away. “I like you, Cort but you’re going about this in the wrong way trying, to right some wrong you think you’ve done by hiding out here. That collar won’t protect you, certainly not from me. I think I’d like to lie down for awhile and get my foot up.” She eased out of her chair and started to hop across the floor and was stopped by Cort who slipped his arm around her waist helping her to the bed. She grabbed his hand and held it to her side feeling the warmth through her silk dress. She turned her face to him but he wouldn’t look at her; smiling she sat on the side of the bed still holding his hand. Rubbing her thumb across the top she looked down, “You’ve got some scar tissue there, Cort, what happened to your right hand?”

He didn’t answer her, and she looked up at his face seeing the pain in his eyes; she let his hand drop and twisted herself up on the bed, plumping the pillow behind her head.

“I’m going to sleep for a while unless you’d like to join me for a little fun?”

Cort turned and left the house; she had disturbed his mind. He walked over to the sanctuary and sat down on a wooden bench. A movement to his right caused him to turn, it was the medicine woman.

“She is still in your house, this is not good Padre, it is the devil at work. She must go.”

“She can’t ride or walk what would you have me do?” he asked quietly.

“Send her away from here.” She offered and walked out of the church.

Cort ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes to pray. When he left, he saw Joaquin give him a strange look and slip around the front of the church. He realized he had made a mistake sleeping in the house with Lou the night before. He wouldn’t tonight.

He went back to his house and prepared a simple meal. Lou was awake and singing to herself in the alcove. “You have a nice voice.” He said.

“One of my many accomplishments, darlin’, I also play piano and harpsichord, I speak French, read and write with some proficiency. I was trained very well.”

He set the plates on the table and looked toward her, “I think I’ll join you for dinner, darlin’ if you’ll give me a hand.” She smiled at him with her eyes twinkling.

Cort was careful how he helped her, offering her only his arm for support and dropping it as soon as she reached her chair. He bowed his head before he began his meal under the watchful violet eyes across the table. They ate in relative silence until she pushed her plate away.

“I am also an accomplished cook and would love to cook you a meal some time. Something besides this Mexican hash. I’m not complainin’, Cort, I know you do the best you can but there is better you know.”

“It satisfies me I don’t eat much.”

She tilted her head, “There isn’t a satisfied bone in your body and you know it. You would eat and enjoy food if you had it. You’d read books and listen to music if you had it now wouldn’t you?”

“I don’t wish for things I don’t have. I’ve learned to be satisfied with what God provides for me.”

“Well, not necessarily, didn’t He provide you with me, why do you think I took a toss-up on your trail, Cort?”

Cort ran his hand over his face, “To test me, you’re a test, Lou.”

“Bullshit, I’m a woman, nothing more or less, and you’re a man that’s why we’re made different you know, our parts fit together perfectly that’s why He made us.”

“Where were you goin’ when you had your ‘toss-up’ maybe I can get you there.”

Lou smiled, “Tryin’ to get rid of me Padre? I don’t really know someplace I could get a stagecoach or a train out of Mexico.”

“Where will you go?”

“Maybe back to New Orleans or to Texas away from Mexico, that’s where he lives you know. I’m safe enough here that’s for sure, he’d never look for me in a mission.”

“You’ll go back to…work then?”

“Of course, what else can I do? I have to pay my way you know. Cort I was never one of these girls you see hangin’ over the banisters with their tits hangin’ out. I come from a high class cat house, there’s a difference, a big difference.”

Cort was quiet and looked over toward the door he knew the difference having been in both. He stood up and gathered the plates stacking them on a counter while he heated water for the wash.

“Do you think your husband is out lookin’ for you?” he asked

“He will for a while but he won’t make a life’s work of it. I told him about my past, it was a big mistake. He asked me how I had become so knowledgeable in bed and thinking I could trust him I told him and that’s when the…ah problem started. It was my fault for not being honest up front it won’t happen again.”

“What will you do divorce him?”

“He’ll have it annulled. You should know there is no divorce in the church. Why are you worried about these things, Cort since you’re plannin’ to put me out?”

“I don’t know, Lou.” He began washing the dishes and stacking them on a shelf. He hung the towel on a peg and turned around. She had turned in her chair watching him while he worked. There was a softening in her eyes.

“You’re a beautiful man has anybody ever told you that? I didn’t think so.” She smiled a genuine smile that reached her eyes and she held out her hand to him and was surprised when he took it. She rose on her good foot and leaned against the table as he came around the chair waiting to see what he would do.

“Thank you,” it was almost a whisper he raised her hand and kissed her fingers before letting it drop, “I’m sleeping in the sanctuary tonight.” He said and stepped away from her. He saw the change in her eyes and she turned away from him bringing her fingers to her lips. “It’s best, there’s already talk. Can I offer you an arm across the floor?”

She turned back and met his eyes, he blinked when he saw they were wet, “An arm, of course,” she said as she lifted her chin. She leaned into him as she stepped across to the bed wanting to pull him down with her, but she let go of his arm, “Well good night then,” she said, easing herself onto to the bed. She sat still while he gathered his blankets and put out the light.

“Good night, Lou,” he said as he went out the door.

Lou stripped down to her chemise and lay her clothes across the bottom of the bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she had shed a tear. Somehow she had let this man, with his simple quiet ways and unconscious grace, get to her.

The next morning she lay quiet while he lit the stove and started the coffee pot. He set the pot inside the curtain for her, and began pulling out his frying pan. Lou used the pot and set it outside the curtain. “Cort, do you think I might have a basin of water for bathing?”

“Yes of course, I’ll heat you some water.”

She waited on the bed until he came through with the basin, cloth and a bit of soap. He glanced at her as he set the basin on the small table by the bed and quickly left. Lou took her time bathing and dressing. She finger combed her hair out letting it fall down her back. “I’m ready for breakfast now.” She said and waited until he came in offering his arm for support. She noticed he had shaved and her fingers curved into her palm wanting to caress his cheek.

She ate her breakfast and sat back with her coffee. “Can you take me today?” she asked

His head came up, “Take you where?”

“Where ever it is I can get transportation out of here. I think it’s time I went.”

“But Lou, you can’t walk on that foot yet.”

“Perhaps you can find me a crutch or a walking stick or somethin’ I’ll manage.”

She wouldn’t meet his eyes, “You should give it another week or so, it’s a bad sprain.”

“No I can’t stay here like this, Cort I’ve caused enough trouble for you, ran you out of your bed and your home, no it’s time for me to go.”

Cort sipped his coffee, he didn’t want her to go. “It’s not as simple as taking you there today, Lou, the closest stage line is Redemption it’s several days there and back.”

“Is there someone who can accompany me?”

“You’re still set on goin’?” he looked down at his plate, “I can, there’s nobody else here who would go with you, Lou, I’m sorry.”

This was not what she wanted to hear; several days on the road alone with Cort.

That’s too much to ask of you, just point me in the right direction I’ll make it by myself.”

“I wouldn’t let you go alone, its too dangerous.” He looked up at her thinking it might be dangerous anyway. “Why are you in such a hurry to leave?”

“I’ve already told you that, I’ve imposed on you long enough you have your work here. You’re a good man, Cort I don’t want to corrupt you.” She watched the surprise flash through his eyes.

“I was corrupted a long time ago. I wasn’t always a Priest you know.” He dropped his head, “There’s nothin’ I haven’t done in my life. Did you ever hear of a man called Herod? I used to ride with him.”

“Is that why you’re here, hidin’ out from him?”

“No, he’s dead now.”

“So you were an outlaw, a gunslinger…that’s what I sensed in you…more than what meets the eye. You’re tryin’ to make amends for your past, honey, what is wrote in the book is wrote, I’m not sure your God has an eraser.”

“I’m already damned I killed a priest. I’ve dedicated the rest of my life to the work he was tryin’ to do.”

“You didn’t have to join the priesthood for that, are you really a priest?

“I entered the priesthood five years ago and I’ve been ordained for two.”

“I don’t hold with priests, it’s an unnatural way to live. Cort…get me out of here today. I can pay somebody to take me to Redemption. Surely there’s somebody here that can ride with me. I don’t want it to be you.”

“You can’t mount a horse, you can’t ride, Lou. We have a wagon here, I’ll take you.”

She turned her head away from him, “You don’t understand do you?”

“Yes I do, I know,” he said it so softly she turned to look at him.

Lou stood and hopped over to the alcove waving him away when he offered his arm. She pulled her soft leather boots from under the bed and began to fit her left foot into the boot, wincing and biting her lip she got the boot on.

“Cort, find me a horse.” She looked him in the eye.

“I can’t let you go like this.”

“Yes you can because you know. I’d give up everything for you.” She stopped biting her lip and trying to blink back tears.

“Lou, don’t, please don’t.”

“A horse that’s all I’m asking of you.” She began pulling on her leather gloves and picked up her hat. Squaring her shoulders she looked at him, “That’s all I’m askin’ for.”

Cort slowly stood up,,, turned and walked out the door looking for Joaquin. He asked him to find two horses and saddle them up, kitted out for traveling. He wanted one brought to his house for the woman and one left at the sanctuary. He walked down to the woodworker’s house and found a carved walking stick testing it with his hand for height. When he returned to the house she was sitting in his chair at the table.

“Try this out,” he said and handed her the walking stick.

“This should work fine, thank you, Cort.” Lou walked around the table getting the feel of using the stick for support.

“Your horse will be here shortly.” He stood by the table and she came over to him.

Lou looked up at him from under the brim of her hat and moved close to him. She placed her hand on his chest feeling his breathing increase, “Thank you for everything, Cort.”

They turned at the sound of the knock on the door and Cort moved out with her. The horse was ready and she waved him back to mount. “I have to do this on my own.”

Her face went white with the effort as she settled in the saddle. “Good bye, Cort it was a pleasure to meet you. I only wish it had been in a different place a different time.”

She felt the tears roll down her cheeks and urged her horse ahead and out of the mission. He hadn’t even said good bye.

He waited for nearly an hour before he mounted up and rode out of the mission. He spent the time going through his things, packing his saddlebags, one with his clothes and his Bible the other with a gun belt. He felt the two halves of himself coming together as he packed, and he hoped God would understand.

He caught up with her just before she moved onto the trail that would take her out of Mexico, and he hung back keeping her in sight.

The sharp throbbing pain in her foot had settled down a bit and she rode at a good pace. She kept her eyes moving since she passed the wagon a little fear creeping in for she had no weapons and felt very much alone. The cat calls had rung in her ears long after it had passed.

Darkness began to appear on the horizon, and she pulled off the trail and up into the rocks looking for a place she felt safe to bed down for the night. She dismounted and nearly passed out from the pain in her foot, leaning against her horse she felt for the walking stick, and pulled her blankets and canteen from the horse. After spreading her blankets she sat down and drank from her canteen. She’d had nothing to eat since breakfast, but the effort to get back on her feet and pull her saddlebags down was too much, and she rolled herself up in the blankets and went to sleep.

Cort sat on the rocks above her and waited until just before dawn then eased his horse down to where she lay. Quietly as he could he went about making a campfire and brought her saddle bags with the food Joaquin had packed. He was sitting cross legged on his blanket by the fire when she stirred.

Her heart was in her throat when she sat up and turned around, “Cort! Oh my God you gave me a fright, what are you doing here?”

“I told you I wouldn’t let you do this by yourself.” He poured some coffee in a cup and handed it to her. “I figured you could use my protection a beautiful woman like you alone out here in the world.”

She took a sip of her coffee considering what he had said, “But you aren’t of this world anymore, you cloistered yourself down in Mexico…what are you doin’, Cort?”

“I’m not really sure I know yet, but I think it’s got to include you.” He looked up and met her eyes.

She stared at him watching the light from the fire play across his face and noticed he was not wearing his collar, “What have you done, no you haven’t done this for me, I ain’t worth it, Cort I’m a whore.”

“You said you’d give up everything, I figured you meant whorin’; well I can leave some things behind too, a lot of what you said to me made sense and I’ve been doin’ a lot of thinking’, if you’re willin’ to take a chance on an ex-outlaw ex-priest I’m willin’ to take a chance on a ex-whore.”

“Oh, Cort, you mean that? You’ll never regret it not as long as I have breath in my body I’ll make you the happiest man on earth and believe me I know how.” She smiled through the tears in her eyes.

He set his cup down and moved over beside her taking her cup and placing it on the ground he took her hand and turned his nose barely touching hers, “Well I reckon you can start now.”

The End.

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