A Cold Morality

After Toni left, Travis went inside his house and walked into his office and sat down staring at nothing. He’d lost, he couldn’t go back and relive moments when he should have acted, he’d gambled and lost. He couldn’t help what he was, what was right and wrong to him, that strong morality that was embed inside of him. In the end maybe she had appreciated that or maybe not. He lit a cigarette. He’d never know.

His mother Sarah came looking for him, “Travis your Dad’s looking for you about the granite countertops.” She stopped inside his doorway and looked at him a moment.

He stared blankly up at her.

“Travis…what’s wrong with you?”

“She’s gone.” He said quietly.

“Toni? She’s gone…home?”

He took a breath, “Yeah, she went back home.”

Sarah’s brow knitted, she wanted to take him in her arms and hold him but she knew he wouldn’t let her. “I’m sorry Travis…so sorry.” She hadn’t realized how much he cared for Toni until now.

He looked up at her, shutters down over his eyes, his feelings shut away, “What was it you wanted?”

“The granite countertops, the man is here with samples for the house.”

He shook his head, “I don’t know anything about granite countertops Mum.”

“You want me to deal with it?”

“Please.”

“Jimmy Kelp is waiting for you outside.”

Travis put out his cigarette, “I’ll see him,” he stood up and came around the desk, Sarah put her hand on his arm but he passed on by her.

“Oh God,” she said aloud, “send somebody to him that isn’t going to hurt him.”

Jimmy Kelp nervously waiting on the walkway outside the house, he took a breath when Travis came out looking at him questioningly.

“Travis…we got trouble, got a cow down and a couple more sickly.”

“Ah…shit.” Travis walked quickly down to the yard where the cattle had been quarantined.

“I called the Vet he’s on his way, bringin’ a crew with him, they’ll all have to be examined Travis.”

“Tell me it ain’t hoof and mouth.”

“I wish I could but we don’t know for sure, Josh says not.”

This was all he needed right now, fucking all. Travis leaned over the rails watching the cattle stagger around. He swallowed his frustration and turned around to his men, “All right, what do I need to do?”