A Fine Line

Jan planned the timing well, Bill and Sarah had taken Tee to a movie and there was no one else in the house but her and Travis. He was in his office working on something and she came in and sat down in the soft leather chair by his desk.

“Hey there baby what’s up?”

“I uh wanted to talk to you about something Travis.”

“Shoot.” When she didn’t say anything he looked up from his computer screen, “something wrong?”

“As a matter of fact there is something wrong I should have made you aware of…sometime ago.”

She had his attention now, ”Jan you’re not sick or something are you?”

“Oh no, nothing like that. I know we’ve been trying to have a baby and um…I…Travis I had an abortion when I was 18…I’m not sure I can have a child…I’ve been to two doctors and got two different opinions. I’m probably going to have to have surgery to correct some problems and then …I”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked quietly

“I…was afraid…I didn’t want to…”

“You didn’t want to what?”

“I…didn’t want you to know.”

“Why?”

“I was ashamed to tell you.”

“I don’t give a fuck about the abortion Jan, what does bother me is that you’ve been going around to doctors and not telling me something was wrong.”

“I thought maybe there would be some quick fix and then I could get pregnant I know how much you want a baby.”

“Quick fix…what the…” he sat back in his chair and ran his hand over his face. “You should have told me Jan…why the hell did you buy all those pregnancy tests when you knew you couldn’t get pregnant? You were lying to me Jan telling me you thought…”

“I’m sorry Travis.”

“You don’t trust me much do you?”

“What I-“

“You forgot I love you and everything that is you. I’ve known you for two years you ought to know me well enough by now to be able to talk to me.”

“Travis, I’m not the person you think I am.”

“Well then who the hell are you?” he leaned across the desk, “I’ll tell you who you are, you’re my wife. I don’t like to be lied to.”

“I didn’t mean to lie…I just didn’t tell you everything.”

“Well that’s a fine line…it wouldn’t have mattered you know.” He got up and left her sitting there.

Jan let the tears flow for a moment and got up to go find him, he’d left the house. “I have to talk to somebody.” She cried.