Blind Drunk
Richie got home from the barbeque and sat down on the front step to his house. He’d had a lot to drink but his mind was still where he wanted it to be. He didn’t know what else to do but wait for her. If she didn’t want him then he would clear his things out tonight and go. But it wasn’t in him to give up easily.
Toni drove home in a fog of confusion. She would have willingly gone to the out buildings with Travis, he had her tonight, he must have known that. Why did he send her home? It would have been so easy for her to give herself to Travis, she’d wanted him and he’d pushed her away. “Fuck them all,” she said as she pulled into her drive.
She got out of the car and walked toward the door not noticing Richie on the step until she was almost to the door. She stopped.
“Toni, we’ve got to talk.”
“Not tonight, I’m on a mission Richie, I intend to get so damned drunk I pass out.”
He stood up, “that sounds like a plan... mind if I join you?”
“Suit yourself," she went past him into the house.
Stopping by the drinks cabinet in the living room she took a bottle; Richie was behind her and took another. They went into the kitchen and found glasses, ice and water.
They sat down at the table across from each other and each poured a drink touching their glasses.
“What are we drinking to?” He asked.
“Is it still Saturday?”
“Here’s to Saturday,” he said and touched her glass.
After a good swig of her drink, “why…what are you doing?”
“Getting drunk with you.”
“Sounds like a good idea Richie I need to be drunk.”
“So do I.”
“Here’s to being blind drunk…have I ever been drunk with you?”
“Not in a long time, Toni.”
“I don’t think I ever have been, tipsy but never blind drunk, that’s where I want to be.”
“Here’s to blind drunk.”
They refilled their glasses.
“Why are you still here, Richie?”
“Because I love you. There’s nowhere else for me to go, Toni... nowhere else I want to be.”
“What about Jan…you don’t want to be with her? I know, Richie, that you have been.”
“Yeah, I have. I don’t love her…I love you and that’s why I’m still here.”
“You want to know something?" she took another drink, “the reason I haven’t kicked you out, the reason I had so hard of a time trying to make up my mind what to do…you’re inside of me, under my skin, no matter how big of an asshole you are, I can’t get you out of me. I want to, I’ve tried to, I’ve been distracted but dammit Richie.”
“Yeah I know, it’s called love.”
“You think I love you?”
“Yeah, I hope so, Toni...it’s what I’m banking on right now, the only thing I got left is some hope that somewhere inside you still do.”
“There ought to be a purge for that, I bet if my grandmother was still alive she’d have an answer, mix this and that and take a good swallow, it ought to come out in the morning and I’d feel all better then.”
“There’s no purge Toni.”
“There should be, it ought to be on the shelf, get rid of what hurts…oh Richie what have you done to me. I can’t get rid of you. As hard as I’ve tried and called you everything that starts with four letters, I can’t get rid of you.”
“I can’t answer that, I know what you’ve done to me, there ain’t a cure Toni,” he refilled her glass again.
“I don’t want to get cryin’ drunk Richie.”
“We ain’t cryin’ we’re drinking.”
“Right…here’s to you Richie for not leaving.”
“Here’s to you for not throwing me out.”
“I wanted to.”
“But you didn’t”
“There are some things I ought to tell you, things I’ve done and haven’t”
“I don’t want to know, it doesn’t matter, nothing matters except that you still love me .”
Toni shook her head, she had heard that somewhere, “ are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure but are you?”
She was on the verge of passing out, felt it coming, “I’m sure I love you…I’m sure I’m going to pass out here in a minute.”
“I’ll catch you Toni.”
“I know, and that matters because you love me.”
“Yes I do more than you will ever know.”
“Come and get me Richie I think I’m blind...”
Richie went around the table and caught her before she fell out of the chair, he picked her up and carried her up the stairs to their bedroom and lay her in the bed, removed her shoes and her necklace, kicked off his own shoes and lay down beside her and passed out.
