Inside His Eyes

Travis felt underneath the bar and found a bottle of vodka and added it to his orange juice. Kyle had gone to pick up Jean. He sipped his stepped up drink and wondered what he was doing asking her onboard. He looked over at the chair where Toni had sat, was it only a week ago she’d been here with him? He thought of what his father always told him, if you fall off a horse you get right back on.

He sighed, he might get back on but damned if he was going to get involved again. So why had he asked this woman he didn’t even know…it was her eyes, the way she looked up at him. He decided he was a stupid fucker after all but at least he had both eyes open this time he could protect himself, he could.

Kyle led a wide eyed Jean Robinson aboard the yacht. She wasn’t so sure of herself now, how did people live like this, she began to feel a little down market in her jeans and knit top. He’d sent an assistant to pick her up, what kind of a man was he anyway? She followed him down the steps to the lounge where Travis as leaning on the bar.

“Hi Jean, thanks for coming, come over and have a seat.”

“I don’t think I had much choice.” She sat down in one of the padded chairs next to the bar.

Travis tilted his head and smiled, “Do you feel like you’ve been Shanghaied? Well honey we’ll try and make your voyage as painless as possible. What can I get you to drink?”

She looked at his glass, “What you’re having, orange juice will be fine.”

He bent over the little fridge and came up with a bottle of juice, “Now mine has vodka in it”

“Oh…just juice for me.” She looked up at him quickly, it was awfully early in the day for vodka.

Travis looked around her, “Have you got it up yet?” He called over to Kyle.

“Yeah, it’s coming in now, want the sound up?”

“Sorry, there’s a game on TV, satellite has just kicked in, are you interested in rugby?”

“Well, not really I used to watch it at home sometimes when it was on TV with my brother and father.”

“That would be in Sydney?”

“How do you know this?”

“I had Kyle look you up, wanna see what’s out there on you,” He dug down in the trash can and smoothed out the piece of paper and handed it to her. He watched her look it over, age 28, born in Sydney, parents separated, a brother two years older whereabouts unknown, finished college, last employment at Barrett’s of Australia in Sydney. And the most important thing he read…she was single, never been married.

“I can’t believe you can just…find this kind of thing on somebody.” She handed it back to him.

“Kyle has his ways, I probably couldn’t do it, you probably couldn’t.”

“Why did you do it?”

“I was interested.” He met her eyes over his glass. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t married or entangled in some kind of relationship, divorce or whatever.”

“But you are aren’t you?”

“I’m being divorced, yes but that’s all.” He looked at her a moment wondering if she knew about Toni, that had died down now, that was last week’s news. He finished his drink and fixed another. He was drinking too fast, he knew it but for some reason he was nervous. “We’re moving, can you tell?”

“Oh, I hadn’t noticed,” she looked toward the wide glass windows.

“You can tell by the change in the engines, it’s a smooth ride good stabilizers.”

“Where are we going, you said overnight?” She turned back to him.

“Just out by the Solitary Islands, I felt like a solitary island this weekend.”

“You aren’t solitary, you asked me to come along.”

“You’re right I did.” He gave her a shy look and a little smile.

Jean looked at him and sipped her juice, looked at him until he became uncomfortable and moved out from behind the bar and over to the back of a white leather sofa watching the TV screen, putting something else between them. She wondered why he had asked her to come, no…insisted that she come and now, she thought, he may be wishing he hadn’t. She finished her juice and walked over to the glass windows and looked out. He’d asked her if she wanted to know him…she realized she did, she wanted to know what was behind those eyes.

Travis was watching the screen but stealing glances at her as she looked through the glass. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. She turned and met his gaze and he knew it was not a smart thing for him to do right now. The wounds hadn’t even had time to scab over; he felt vulnerable, a feeling he didn’t like.

“Jean, would you like to go up on deck?” maybe the fresh air would help and he probably didn’t need any more orange juice.

“Sure, it’s a lovely boat Travis.” She walked over with him to the steps .

They reached the deck and walked over to the railings, “Look for porpoises, might even see some whales when we get farther out.”

She watched the water for awhile and turned to him, “Why did you really ask me to come with you?”

He looked at her a moment, “I didn’t want to be alone.”

She angled her head, “Well now you aren’t alone, I’m with you.”

He narrowed his eyes and knew it was so. He wanted to know her, not what was available on a print out that told him what he needed to know, but who she was inside, what she thought, what she felt. He felt a rush when she looked at him and he was going to have to rein himself in. He pulled his sunglasses down over his eyes and kept them there.

The day went by fast for Jean, there was a galley chef to serve meals, she had a few glasses of wine over the evening and now they were anchored down near an island for the night. It was the bedtime that had her a little un nerved she wasn’t sure what he expected of her. The door was open to his room which took up one end of the yacht, she peeked in, it looked like a stateroom on some luxury liner, the room her bag had been put in was next to his room, smaller but still nice. She took a shower and found her pajamas, knit pants and a cami top, the only one she owned that the tops and bottoms matched somewhat.

During this time Travis was talking with Kyle and watching TV. She heard him pass by her door and go into his own room a little while later. She’d dried her hair and combed it out and opened her door a crack, his door was still open and she stuck her head in his room.

“Travis, I just wanted to thank you for today.”

He came from the direction of his bathroom, barefoot, knit pajama pants and a singlet.

“You’re most welcome, come on in you can leave the door open.” He lit a cigarette and flopped casually down on the big bed that dominated the room. He reached above the bed and opened the skylight. “Let some of the smoke out,” he grinned. “Come here, I don’t bite.” He patted the bed beside of him.

Jean hung back a beat and then went over and crawled up on the bed with him and looked up, “Oh, stars are out, what a view.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to lie here and watch the sky” They both leaned back on the padded headboard of the bed and watched the sky for awhile, not talking just being next to each other. “Jean, I don’t want you to think that you have to sleep with me or anything. He said quietly.

“Thanks…but if I wanted to?”

“Then you should know I’m not in a good place right now. I can’t promise you anything other than this.”

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

“Don’t gamble on me, I’ve just come through a couple of painful relationships I’m not looking for another right now.”

“Well then you shouldn’t have asked me on board Travis, because I am looking for a relationship. I’m twenty-eight it’s time I found somebody and settled down, I want a family before I’m forty. I’m not saying anything is going to develop between us, I just wanted you to know where I’m at. Pain and relationships don’t necessarily have to be related you know.”

“No I don’t know that. You’re probably right I shouldn’t have asked you but I did and here you are in my bed. So what am I going to do with you.”

“Throw me overboard?”

“Put you in a dingy and let you float to shore.”

“Nicer than a dip in the ocean in the middle of the night.” She smiled over at him.

His eyes were dancing, “I think you might be good for me, I take it all back I’m glad I asked you to come.”

“I’m glad I came…you asked me if I wanted to know you…I do.”

“You might make us both sorry Jean.”

“I don’t think so.” Her breath was coming in short pants he wanted to kiss her she knew he did and so she made the move and kissed him softly on his lips. His arms went around her and crushed her to him, deepening the kiss. He let himself go, he wanted her and she responded to him.

“Jean, if you’re going to walk do it now because if you stay with me there’s no going back, I can’t do that anymore, I won’t.”

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” she met his intense look with one of her own, she did want him. She caressed his face. “Except I want to be inside you.”

“I mean it Jean If you stay with me, you’re mine, I don’t share…your life is going to change…are you prepared for that, can you do that…for me. Are you that serious or are you playing?”

“I’m not playing with you, although that might be fun, I want to be with you Travis. I don’t play games with people I care about. I think I know what you’re asking, it’s crazy because I just met you today, you don’t know me and I don’t know you but something in me knows you…wants to be with you.”

Travis looked at her a moment and got up and closed the door.