Reflections
 

Richie left his office in Miss Peeg’s capable hands and went back to his room at Millie’s after his confrontation with Travis McGee. He took off his shirt and put it to soak in the sink to remove the blood stains. As Kyle had told him his jaw was a little tender he wouldn’t be eating any steaks for awhile. His lip was swollen he tenderly felt it with his tongue. He felt drained mentally and physically.

Miss Peeg’s words had hit their mark and lay on his chest like a weight. He lay down on the bed and let the weight sink in. He had instantly regretted baiting McGee, the very thing he had told himself he wasn’t going to do. He’d let his emotions get in the way of common sense. He’d wanted to punish McGee for taking Toni away from him and he knew in his heart she hadn’t been taken away, he’d driven her away himself.

It had embarrassed him for Miss Peeg to say that about keeping his pants on. It was a weakness he had and not one he’d ever been able to conquer. He reached over and picked up his pack of cigarettes and lit one, his lip not cooperating and beginning to bleed a little. He got a wash cloth from the bathroom and placed it on the cut. Probably everybody in The Glen would know about this by dinner time, and that just wasn’t good business; it would add more fuel to the already growing fire that was his reputation.

What he would really like right this minute would be to have Toni there to talk to. He missed that relationship he had with her the normalcy that was their life, was that fake too, had it been on his part…maybe some of it. He did love her, still did and he missed her. He felt his eyes sting. For one brief moment he’d had it all and he blew it.

He thought about Libby and Miss Peeg’s words came back to him. He wasn’t sure he wasn’t just using her she was right it didn’t look good. He had no idea what Libby really thought of him, he hadn’t bothered to find out. Friends, were they? He’d tried to be honest with her but he hadn’t been honest with himself. Yes, he was using her she made him feel better about himself for a little while. That fake man, that’s what Nonnie had seen and she’d been right he was a fake all the women in the world would not make up for that loneliness, that core of emptiness that lived inside of him. It was something that wanted filling but he didn’t know how to fill it. Like a man that needed a good solid meal but filled up on junk food instead.

He rolled over on his side and reached for his phone to call Libby and hesitated but then what the hell, she was the only one he knew he could call that would come to him and offer a little comfort, he needed comforting somebody to tell him it was all right.