The Pain of Guilt
Richie arrived home, Nonnie’s van was in the drive. He sat in the vehicle for a minute trying to get himself together. He’d just left Libby in Coffs at the flat. He went inside and found her unpacking a box on the kitchen island. A big smile for him.
“Hey there, I hung around hoping for some help but I managed all by myself, only a few boxes today.”
“Sorry, I got um tied up at the last minute, what can I do to help?”
“Bring two more boxes in from my van…but first…” she came around the island and put her arms around his neck, “You are working too hard solicitor,” she kissed him.
He put his arms around her and kissed her back, “I love you, Nonnie.”
She smiled, “I love you too…are you okay?”
“Yeah…just…it’s been a long day…”
“Forget the boxes, I’ll make you a drink kick off your shoes and relax.” She went over to the cabinet and got a glass and opened the scotch she had out on the counter.
“You’re too good to me I don’t’ deserve you.”
She laughed a little, “I probably don’t deserve you either but here we are two undeserving people…go…sit.”
“So um what did you bring over today?”
“My china, packed very carefully mind you. Uncle Stephen gave me that when I was twenty-one it’s irreplaceable.”
“You probably shouldn’t unpack it then, I’ll probably break it or chip it up or something.” He took a sip of his drink.
“You haven’t chipped up any of your dishes, I trust you.” She made herself a drink and came into the lounge room and found a seat on the sofa next to Pippin curled up on a pillow.
‘Trust you’ he felt like the lowest kind of bottom feeder…he wasn’t to be trusted at all with anything of value. He took another sip of his drink and looked up meeting her eyes.
“It must have been a hell of a day…”
“Yeah well…I hope you don’t regret this…moving in with me.”
She tilted her head, “Why should I, I’m a big girl and you’re a big boy we know what we’re doing at least I do…are you having second thoughts?”
“No, no…never I want you here. I need you here.”
“I need to be here.” She took a drink and reached over giving Pippin a pet. “I thought once we get settled in together I’d like to invite Uncle Stephen and William to dinner one night. You could do some steaks on the barbie, you’re very good at that.”
“Yeah that sounds good, I’ve never met William have I?”
“No I don’t’ think you have. Do you not feel well?”
“Um, a little headache,” actually he had a big one it began when he left the flat and pounded all the way to The Glen. He’d beat himself up all the way home over his afternoon with Libby. What the fuck was the matter with him? He rubbed his eyes.
Nonnie got up and took the drink from his hand, “I’ll get you some tablets and you go and lie down in the bed with the blinds closed. Take a little nap, honey. I’ll make you something soothing for dinner later when you wake up.”
He put his hand on her cheek and slipped it around the back of her neck, she went into his lap and he held her.
“You really are in a state aren’t you,” she said softly.
“I’m okay, just the head…I think I will lie down for awhile…have ya got some good dope?”
“The best Jessup sells,” she kissed his lips and moved out of his lap heading for the medicine cabinet in the bathroom.
He undressed and got in the bed and she brought him the tablets and a glass of water. “I’ve never known you to have a headache are you sure you’re not coming down with something?”
Guilt? Could guilt make you sick? “First time for everything,” he swallowed the pills and lay back on the pillow. Nonnie pulled the blinds closed and tucked the blanket around him.
“Try and sleep awhile, I’m here if you need anything.”
“You’re all I need, Nonnie…all and everything.”
She kissed his forehead and stood up, “I love you…sleep.” She pulled the door to but didn’t latch it, pausing in the hallway and looking back at the door for a minute she shook her head slightly and went back to unpacking her china.
