Discovery & Loss

Libby & Richie

by Layne & Atonia

When Libby heard the knock at the door of her hospital room, she was still crying, although the deep sobs had quieted somewhat. She was sore and exhausted from the accident and all the crying and she didn't feel as though she ever wanted to talk to anyone again.

"Go away," she said, as loudly as her sore throat would allow. "Please just go away."

When the hospital called about Libby, Richie had dropped everything and rushed over and so he ignored the ‘go away’ and pushed the door open. Libby was in quite a state.

“Libby, what the hell happened to you?” he asked, his voice full of concern as he walked over to the hospital bed.

Richie's voice was a welcome sound, but it still couldn't pull Libby out of the well she felt she'd fallen into in the last several hours. "I--had a car accident." Her tone was listless, even though she stuttered from her crying.

“Car accident, are you hurt?” He thought she must be because of the crying, “when did this happen Lib?”

"I don't know. Five, maybe six hours ago." Libby made an effort to stop crying. She wiped her tears on one corner of the crisp, white sheet on the hospital bed.

Finally, she reached for the glass of water the nurse had left on her bedside table awhile ago. Grimacing because of her sore throat, she managed a little swallow. When she'd put it back, she at last raised her head and looked at Richie. "I'm not really hurt much. Just scrapes and bruises and stuff."

Her eyes went back down to the sheet and she clutched the end of it tightly in both hands. "But I- I-" She sobbed again, unable to go on.

“So you’re not in pain or anything? Well heyk it’s just a car, don’t worry about it.” Obviously something else was going on with her, but he couldn’t think what it could be, maybe just shock from the accident. “Maybe you need a doctor or something, Libby…you gonna talk to me?”

Talk. Richie was finally asking her to talk to him and she didn't know what to say. Didn't know how to put this pain into words.

Looking at him pleadingly through the haze of a fresh flood of tears, she asked, 'Richie? Would you just hold me? Please..."

Richie put the side of the bed down and sat down beside her and held her, while she soaked the shoulder of his shirt. He rubbed his hand up and down her back gently, in case she was bruised, “Libby, you gonna have to quit cryin’ babe, tell me what’s wrong. Is there something I need to do, somebody we need to sue, somebody I need to go beat the shit out of? Just tell me what I can do for you.”

His arms around her felt good. Warm and strong and somehow stable. At this moment, Libby wanted to retreat into them and never come out again. As though they were security itself and, as long as she stayed within them, nothing could ever hurt her again.

Dear, sweet Richie. He thought he could beat someone up or take someone to court and sue them and fix everything for her. If only he could do just that. Finally, she pulled back enough to look into his eyes.

Sniffling, she said,"Richie, I- I was pregnant. There was a baby." There, she'd said it.

She'd put it into words and there were no more tears now, just indescribable sadness. She laid her head on his shoulder again and just let him support her.

Richie held her, but the shock showed on his face. Pregnant? Of all the things he might have expected her to say, that wasn’t on the list. WAS a baby, she’d said, “You lost the baby?” Now he was wondering whose it was.

"Yes." The tears threatened again and she pressed her face tighter into his shoulder. "And I didn't even know about it until it was too late!"

Libby looked up at him before going on, "I would have wanted it, Richie! I would have!"

“I’m sorry Libby,” but was he really? “Maybe it was for the best, you know. Things happen sometimes for a reason. You weren’t meant to have it. I hate you have to go through this,” he held her tighter. “Come on now, you’ve got to pull yourself together, You want some more water, can I get you a soft drink or somethin’?”

She knew he was right. She'd fallen to pieces and she had to get a grip. But how could she? She thought about a baby. A tiny baby. Someone she could take care of and love. Someone who needed her.

Richie handed her the glass of water and, after taking a sip, she lay back on the pillows. Taking Richie's hand, she put it on her stomach. "There was actually a baby there, Richie. I can't get over the fact that I didn't even know it was there. That I'll never see it. That I'll never even know if it was a boy or a girl."

Gazing up at him, she asked, "How did you feel when Michael was born?"

“Ah jeesh- I dunno- kind of excited I guess, that was a long time ago,” Richie was glad she was finally calming down, poor kid. “Is there ah somebody else you need to notify?”

"No." Libby told him flatly, the emotions on her face closing down. She'd thought about that already.

"I don't know who the father was." She glanced back down at the sheets. "I'm ashamed of myself for that, Richie, but I don't. And now- Now, I guess it doesn't matter anyway."

Richie took her hand rubbing his thumb across the back of it, “Hey, it’s gonna be okay, You got nothing to be ashamed of, this is life kid. Now you gotta concentrate on getting yourself out of here. You gotta get past this Libby.” Hoping to get her mind off of it, “so where’s your car, what happened anyway?”

"I don't know," she sighed. His thumb rubbing her hand calmed her. "Some impound lot, I guess, if that's what they do with things like that. Some guy in a truck came around a curve in the middle of the road. I had to swerve really quickly to keep him from hitting me. Hit a deep ditch."

The doctor on her case entered the room at that moment, with the nurse who'd called Richie for her on his heels. He'd started in earlier, but the nurse had held him back, seeing Libby in Richie's arms. He seemed to be good for her. They made a rather unusual couple, but he'd seen plenty of those during his medical career.

Now, the doctor smiled at them both. "Miss Tyler, I'll want to keep you here overnight for observation, but you can go home in the morning. No complications that we can find."

He turned to Richie. "It's good to see her calm." The man's face was serious. "I'm sorry for your loss, Mr. Roberts. Both of you."

The doctor's smile returned. "The good news, though, is that there's no permanent damage. You two'll be able to have more babies. All you want."

Richie’s eyes told the story, from incredulous to merriment, “That’s good news." He grinned at Libby.

Meeting his eyes with her own, Libby felt amazingly like returning his grin. She always felt like they were the only ones who shared the secret--the joke. That everyone around them thought they were a couple. "Yes, it is." For a brief moment, she wondered what it would be like to be having Richie's baby.

When the doctor and nurse had left, with smiles all around, she looked up at Richie, still grinning a little. "You think we should set them straight?" she asked him.

“And spoil their happy thoughts…no.” He looked at her for a long time and then dropped his eyes. His cell phone interrupted his thoughts and he was glad for the interruption, it was Miss Peeg wanting to know how Libby was, he’d left the office in a rush only telling her Libby had been in a car wreck.

“That was Miss Peeg, she wishes you a speedy recovery.”

"Tell her thank you," Libby said gravely, still not too sure about Miss Peeg. The woman gave every appearance of being genuinely concerned for both Richie and herself, but she didn't seem to think that they could actually be friends.

As far as Libby was concerned, today proved to her that they could. Richie had called her for help and she'd gone to him. Today, she'd called him for help and he'd done the same. It might not prove to be an easy, trouble-free friendship, but were any of them?

Her mind went back to the smiles of the doctor and nurse and she sighed. "Well, at least someone's happy." She thought of Dan and March, wondering what either of them would say had he known there was to be a baby.

“You mean the medical staff, yeah but um what about you? You gonna be able to handle this? Sometimes I know people need a little counseling after something this. I’m no good at this kinda thing so don’t look to me.”

"Yeah, I can just see you playing counselor. At least, any kind other than legal." Then, Libby's emotions shut down again. "I'll handle it. I don't have any choice, do I? I've had counseling before. Family counseling with my parents and sister. Didn't seem to work for me."

"Thank you for coming, Richie. For being here for me."

“Sure, I told you I’d come if you called anytime you need me Libby,” he bent down and kissed her. “You should probably get some rest so we can get you outta this place tomorrow, I’ll come and get ya.”

She gave him something of a half-hearted, exhausted smile, but it was sincere. "I'll try."

His kiss felt good. His very presence felt good. She was asleep before he made it out of the room.