A State of Confusion

By Marie S

Today was a week. A week since Egan kissed her, Bud discovered them and then socked Egan in the jaw. Jessica had barely spoken with either of them since the following day.

She wasn’t too worried with Bud. Jessica knew he was trying to find a way to apologize without admitting he’d done anything wrong. She wasn’t mad at him any longer. When she had a chance she’d tell him that. Besides the last couple of days Bud had something much more important affecting him. He’d shot and killed someone in the line of duty. Many people he knew from around the Glen had been injured.

Away from town things seemed almost untouched by the violence that had hurt so many. The White’s and Curry’s land seemed like this little oasis or cocoon might be a better way to term it. Jessica knew they weren’t immune out here. But with Bud and Egan around there certainly was a sense of safety and protection even if it was somewhat an illusion.

Ashley had kept her constantly busy the last few days. Lachlan was on a long job and series of flights that was keeping him away for 3 days. Jessica knew Ashley was fretting. She’d confided in Jessica that she worried he would miss the birth of their first child and that was something you could never get back.

She was scared to do it alone though Marie, Bud and Jessica would never leave her alone. But they all couldn’t make up for the absence of the man Ashley loved and would soon have a baby by. Jessica hoped Lachlan was doing everything possible to be in The Glen when Ashley delivered.

Then there was Egan. Jessica had sat by Egan’s bedside the rest of the day after Bud and he fought. She woke him every hour to make sure he was okay as instructed by Marie. Ashley brought them dinner and even made soup for Egan as by the evening he could barely open his mouth it was so sore and swollen.

Jessica had intended on sitting in the chair by Egan’s bed throughout the night, but after midnight as she got more and more sleepy he’d insisted she share his bed. Exhausted she hadn’t put up too much disagreement and crawled into bed. She’d stayed far as she could away from him as she was afraid she might move and hurt him with her arm or a carelessly out flung hand.

What Jessica wouldn’t admit was she was feeling very shy around Egan after what had happened between them that day at the pond. She liked Egan an awful lot and things had simply moved too fast when chemistry took over between them. It wasn’t as though she wanted to distance herself from Egan, just slow things down a bit. Did he think she was pulling away from him?

She sighed and swung back and forth on the porch swing. Perhaps her reaction to what had happened the next morning had given him mixed signals. They’d slept side by side throughout the night. Jessica had set her clock timer at intervals to wake them up to check on Egan. Finally at 3 AM she’d forgotten to set the alarm and they slept through for a few hours.

When they awoke the sun was beginning to stream in through the curtains. Egan was wrapped around her with his face nuzzled into her hair, one arm around her waist and the other cupping her breast. Jessica nearly laughed out loud as she thought Egan was a determined man. That was exactly where he’d been headed when Bud came upon them by the pond.

Jessica’s laugh was pushed away by what Egan started doing. He was stroking her breast lightly and as she concentrated on the sensation it caused her nipple peaked. A small moan escaped from the man and he moved his body flush against hers.

She gasped at the feel of his morning hardness pressing against the soft curve of her bottom as he pulled her tighter against him. Instinctively she rubbed against him. He felt so good. Egan took that as a go ahead and before Jessica had a second thought his hand had slipped beneath her tank top and bra and was caressing her naked breast and rubbing the peaked nipple.

“Egan,” she whispered and then sucked in a breath as he gently squeezed her nipple. She should tell him to stop, but oh it felt so good. Everything he was doing. He must be feeling better this morning. His jaw.

“Egan.” Louder this time and she wiggled out of his grasp. “We can’t. You were hurt yesterday.” She turned to look at him. It was rather hard to maintain any dignity when her top was pushed up and her breast was bared. Jessica frantically tried to fix her bra when Egan’s hand stilled hers.

“Don’t, Jess. You’re gorgeous.” His hand cupped her breast again and his thumb rubbed over the nipple. “We both want this.” His other hand deftly pushed her bra out of the way and bared her other breast to him. He touched both her breasts and squeezed the pink buds of flesh.

Jessica moaned from the sensation. She did want him. Egan read her perfectly and pulled her body flush to his again. He hooked her leg over his hip which pressed his very aroused cock against her. Any thoughts of propriety were gone and Jessica was left wanting Egan as he wanted her.

Her arms slipped around him. Their lips met and they kissed deeply and longingly until…Egan moaned in pain from the movement of his jaw and the pressure of their lips.

Jessica sprang back horrified. She was out of the bed and standing at the bedside in a moment.

“I’m so sorry, Egan. I hurt you.”

Egan closed his eyes. He couldn’t watch her naked breasts heaving with her ragged breathing as the pain raced through his jaw and head. At this very moment he wished Bud White was in front of him so he could punch him again.

Finally when the pain subsided to a dull ache Egan opened his eyes. He sighed. Jess had put her bra on again and pulled down her shirt. There were tears in her eyes.

“I’m fine, Jess. No worries, love.” He held his hand out to her. Jessica took it and reluctantly sat on the edge of his bed. He swept her soft hair over one shoulder.

Egan could sense the stiffness in her body. He ran his hand over her back like he was gentling a horse.

“Everything will be bonzer in no time at all.” His fingers ran through her silky hair. Finally she relaxed some as he continued to stroke her back. She nodded and turned to look at him.

“Can I get you some breakfast?” She inspected his bruised and swollen jaw. In the light of the new day it was black and purple. Jessica gently touched his forehead away from the damage of his lower face.

“I could use some coffee. How ‘bout you?”

“Yes. I’ll make some.” Egan wrapped his arms around her before she jumped up and ran for the kitchen.

He hugged her close to him. “Our time will come, Jess.”

“I know, Egan. I’m not ready yet as much as I want you.” She jumped up and hurried to the kitchen.

They hadn’t discussed anything further. Jessica got the impression that the talking Egan had done was more than his jaw could tolerate.

It was confirmed later when Marie insisted on taking Egan in to the clinic she worked at in Coffs Harbour. He had a crack in his jaw bone. It was slight and not displaced. Luckily they hadn’t had to do any surgery or wire shut his jaw.

Egan was told not to talk, get enough rest and stay strictly on a liquid diet for several days. Ashley immediately went out and bought him a blender, protein powder and all the ingredients to make milk and fruit shakes.

Once he had the hang of it he’d shooed the girls away. Three women fussing over him was much too much for Egan Varner to take.

Suddenly days were slipping by and Jessica rarely saw Egan except while she was with Marie or Ashley. Jessica occasionally caught his gaze on her. She tried to act nonchalant though she was tingling inside ever time.

She was off the porch swing and walking toward the stable before she thought anymore about it. Jessica needed to see Egan. She found him working inside and stopped to admire him as he hammered a shelf to a wall in the tack room. He was a very capable man.

Egan must have sensed her presence and turned to look at her.

“G’day, Jessica.” He smiled before turning back to his work.

She almost turned around and ran back to the Curry’s house. Jessica had no idea why she found him so unsettling. Instead she walked in beside him.

“G’day, Egan. How is your jaw? I saw you smile.” She looked up at him.

He paused to look at her. “Much better. It’ll be right as rain in no time at all. I’m finally able to eat more than Ashley’s shakes as long as it’s soft.” The sparkle reached his eyes this time and she found herself unable to answer as she stood looking at him.

Egan tossed his hammer to the ground, moved toward her and pressed her against the side of the stable wall.

“You’ve been avoiding me all week.”

“I haven’t been. Well, I didn’t mean to. Maybe I was.” She ended sheepishly.

Egan laughed. “Never has a sheila driven me as crazy as you. And never have I wanted one more than you.” His lips cut off any reply. Their kiss turned hungry as their tongues explored frantically.

When they ended breathless her fingers gently touched his lips.

“Your jaw. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“You didn’t. I need help exercising the horses tomorrow.”

“Sure, I’ll be glad to help you.” His kiss cut off further reply. This time her arms were twined around his neck.

He patted her bottom when they finished kissing again. One more time and they’d be in the hay.

“Now get going, love. I have work to do and you distract me.” She saw the sparkle in his eyes again.

“Okay. You’re invited to dinner tonight. Ashley is cooking something special. She’ll put it in her food processor if you need it.” She grinned.

“That won’t be necessary as long as it isn’t something tough.”

“I’ll tell Ashley not to cook anything tough.” She giggled.

“Don’t you dare. I’ll never hear the end of it. Oh, and tomorrow…you won’t need your bathing suit, love.”

By the look in his eyes Jessica knew exactly what he meant. She nodded, turned and ran down the path toward the Curry’s house with a spring in her step.