The Decision

By Marie S

Marie watched him covertly. Or so she thought until Bud looked up and caught her eye. He was on the phone talking police business. His small smile and the look in his eyes was enough to melt her still. She loved him so. He infuriated her so at times.

There had been a few tentative days around one another after their disagreement about buying the horses. Of course it really had little to do with the horses. Marie became convinced they could afford the horses and Egan’s salary. She accepted the gift and became excited along with Ashley who had no reservations.

Her face clouded over a moment as she realized she may have to settle for being an auntie and never a mom. She’d made her decision. If Bud could never come to the place he could accept her getting pregnant again and trying to have a child; she’d give up that dream. Her life was with Bud.

Unfortunately making the decision and completely coming to terms with it was going to take a bit more time. Since she and Bud had met and fallen in love part of her had wanted their child together. By the time they were married that had doubled. After her miscarriage the pain had drowned that out for a time, but once the healing began to happen with their new lives here at The Glen, the desire returned.

Perhaps she shouldn’t give up hope yet? But months had passed and Bud still couldn’t talk about them trying again. Maybe he never would. She realized her hands were sitting in the soapy water for minutes without washing a dish. Marie sighed and finished up quickly.

She hadn’t heard him come in from the porch. He was suddenly behind her and slipping his big arms around her waist. His lips found her ear and nibbled on it. A shudder of pleasure went through her body from his touch. God, she loved this man so.

His low rumble whispered in her ear. “I’m sorry.”

She nodded and slipped her arms over his to hold him tightly to her. Marie knew he was sorry. He hated to cause her pain as she did to him. It just didn’t change anything.

“I know, Bud.”

Later that evening their kissing and touching on the couch was leading to more. Marie excused herself to slip in her diaphragm in the bathroom. Bud surprised her again while she held the case in her hand. He put his hand over hers and set it back on the bathroom counter. Again his lips were whispering at her ear.

“Don’t.”

She turned in his arms to question him. Was he sure? His eyes were stormy. They said no. He wasn’t sure. Perhaps he never would be.

Bud led her to bed and made love to her. His actions spoke louder than his inner turmoil.

After, as she watched some of his seed seep from her body, Marie hugged him tight. She saw the pain this had caused him and felt his desperation in his love making. She’d almost stopped him, but that wasn’t what he’d wanted and he’d covered her lips with his to drown out her question.

Bud had made his decision. It had been as painful for him as hers was for her. He held her close; almost fiercely as his hands slowly stroked her body.