Times of Strife

By Marie S

Marie was distracted. Bud wasn’t talking to her at all about the pregnancy yet. She’d catch him worriedly watching her like she just might disintegrate before his eyes. It was awful.

She didn’t want to go to that place where they didn’t communicate. It brought back too many painful memories. And she believed in positive attitude. Psyche over soma. She was pregnant and didn’t want negative thoughts affecting the growth of their baby.

A smile grew on her face. Their baby…Marie was so happy.

“Damn you, Wendell White for making me feel guilty because I’m so happy about our pregnancy.”

She’d whispered that vehemently to the interior of the truck and immediately retracted it.

“I’m sorry, God. Forgive me. I don’t mean that. I just want him to be happy too. Like he was last time.”

When Marie had been pregnant the first time Bud was very happy. He’d worried about being a good dad after the kind of father he’d had, but as time progressed he’d been more and more excited. She remembered in her sixth month he showed up at home one day after work with a huge teddy bear to put in the nursery. He’d given her a goofy grin as he mentioned he’d just happened to see the stuffed bear in the store.

It was only a month later that she’d gone into early labor and lost their sweet baby. Their world had completely fallen apart for the next six months.

She wiped the tears off her cheeks and got out of the truck. She’d been thinking about driving into the Glen to shop, but she wasn’t in the mood for a little retail therapy. Especially since Ashley wasn’t ready to leave Katie Marie with even Jessica. Ashley could turn any shopping trip into an adventure. She couldn’t imagine wandering through Barrett’s alone and being drawn to looking at baby clothes and furniture.

Instead she walked toward the stables. The arrival of Marie and Ashley’s horses was exciting for both of them. The irony was Ashley would now be able to exercise her horse soon and Marie would have to ask Jessica or Egan to exercise her mare. She didn’t want to take the chance of the dangers that might come with riding. She had been thrown in the past and Ginger was a new horse without an established relationship between them yet.

No one knew yet that she was pregnant except Bud. It was very early and with Bud having such a hard time accepting this she didn’t want others congratulating him before Bud really could look at it as something worthy of good cheer.

Marie sighed and sat down on a log to think a bit more. What in the world was she going to do about Bud? She thought back to his reluctance to her getting pregnant again. Maybe she should have questioned Bud more strongly when he had taken her hand and led her to bed without putting in her diaphragm. Bud had made the final decision.

And all the times they’d made love since? He never said a word. Sometimes it truly was frustrating to love and live with a silent man; especially when you wanted to talk things through.

Yet Marie felt that she and Bud had a wonderful marriage. And everyone approached things in different ways. Bud’s way was to slowly come to terms with this. He was reticent because of history. Their history and Bud’s complicated childhood history.

Maybe she was worrying about this too much. She simply needed to give Bud the time, support and the space he needed to work this through. Bud was smart and sure in nearly every other decision he made. And that night in their bedroom Bud had made a decision. That and the simple fact that the deed was now done.

Marie’s job was to take really good care of herself and their growing baby. This would prove to Bud on the day their little girl or boy was born that they’d both made the right decision.

That was when it happened. The reason she shouldn’t be distracted became perfectly clear. The lane leading from Lachlan and Ashley’s house to the stable was very rutted. They’d all complained as they drove over it and had even discussed getting the lane grated.

Marie twisted her ankle badly when she stepped sideways into a rut. She wasn’t watching where she was walking. Except as she sat down on the ground from the sharp pain she knew she hadn’t twisted it. She’d heard the crack. From her medical experience she knew it was probably a tibia or fibula fracture.

It wasn’t too badly displaced and appeared to be in alignment.

“Ouch.” She wasn’t able to detach herself professionally from her own body any longer. It hurt too much. Marie reached for her cell phone in her pocket. Only it wasn’t there. She hadn’t grabbed it from her purse when she’d decided not to go to town. The only thing in her pocket was her keys.

“Fat lot of good those are gonna do you, Marie.” She joked out loud to herself, but she heard the shakiness in her own voice.

She was half way between the house and the stables. Which way should she try to walk for help? Pulling herself to her feet she quickly found it would be neither way. It simply was too painful and too difficult to try and hop for that far of a distance. She knew she shouldn’t and couldn’t put weight on her leg until it was casted and the fracture was stabilized.

Sometimes it really was difficult to know too much as a health care professional. So much for mind over body. Her distressed and distracted mind had allowed her body to get damaged. Thankfully this damage shouldn’t affect her baby. Her hand slipped to her flat stomach in a protective motion.

No x-rays. No pain medication. She’d refuse either as there was a chance they could damage her fetus.

“Now how in the world is anyone going to find me and when?”

Her voice sounded very small in this densely wooded area that seemed impenetrable. Bud was working. Ashley thought she was going to town and was busy with both Lachlan and Katie Marie. Jessica had taken Destiny down to the stables.

When would anyone notice that the truck was still there and wonder where she had gone? She crawled back over to the log she’d been sitting on and leaned against it. That wasn’t fun.

“I’m sorry, Bud.”

Marie figured she better apologize ahead of time. If Bud was the one to realize she was missing or even when he found out she was injured this would be a bit upsetting to him. She winced and smiled mirthlessly as she settled into a more comfortable position. Upsetting was perhaps too mild of a word.