By Marie S

Bud was taking Marie to the grocery store. He was going to the hardware store. Well, that was the agreement anyway. It remained to be seen whether or not he followed it. He’d intended to when he shook his wife’s hand, but the nearer they got to the store, he wasn’t sure he could do it.

When Bud thought about it, his train of thought was completely irrational. Yet knowing wasn’t stopping him from acting irrationally. He wasn’t so sure it shouldn’t be his brain being shrunk by the doc back in LA. Bud knew he’d had this fear in the past, but it had never been so strong before.

It was a fear of loss of his wife. And it was so strong that it was getting impossible for him to leave her alone. And he knew he was starting to drive Marie nuts. Maybe he was a fucking fruitcake who the men in the white coats should come and take away. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his jaw.

"Penny for them." She smiled over at him which always made him want to smile right back at her.

"Huh? Sorry, what did you say, Hon?" He gave her a sheepish grin.

Her hand slid over and gently rubbed his arm. "I said penny for your thoughts, Bud. You seem so deep into them."

"Oh…it was nothing. Just thinking about what I need to get at the hardware store. I need a Phillips head screwdriver and I was wondering if these kangaroo chasers even call them that." He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. He saw the skeptical look on her face. She didn’t believe a word he said. How the hell could she read him so well? Her hand stopped rubbing his arm. He wished she wouldn’t stop.

"I’m sure you’ll find what you need, Bud." She took her hand and placed it back in her lap.

Fuck. She hated when he kept important things from her. It didn’t make him feel too great either. Luckily they were pulling into Coffs and the market was just ahead on the right.

"Here’s the market. Why don’t I just come with you so I can carry the bags? You aren’t supposed to carry anything heavy anyway." He looked hopefully over at her as he pulled into a parking space.

"That’s okay, Bud. You can load the car when I’m finished. After you’ve come back from the hardware store."

Bud saw the stubborn set of her mouth. If he was going shopping with her, it was going to have to be covert-like. She wasn’t going to make his asshole behavior any easier. Before he had a chance to respond, she leaned over, kissed his cheek and disappeared out of the passenger side of the truck.

He watched her take a cart and go into the store. Bud had honed his surveillance skills for years. He wouldn’t have a hard time finding her in the market. It still took all his control not to run after her to push the cart. He didn’t want her to strain anything.

Sauntering toward the store he nonchalantly strolled into the market. He looked around and didn’t see her. For a moment of panic he wondered if she’d ditched the cart and slipped out the back door to get away from him. Maybe somebody snatched her.

Pull it together, White. She came to get food for dinner and start stocking the kitchen. Just then he saw a flash of her red hair ahead of him. He moved into position to watch her. She was a real looker. This part he would enjoy. He better not get caught or she’d give him hell.

Bud had much more fearsome individuals in his life give him hell, but for some reason when Marie did it that was the worst. She just had a way to really make him squirm when he did something really stupid. She was like the conscience that he sometimes ignored. She made him better than he really was. And he hated to disappoint her. He couldn’t remember ever wanting to please anyone as much, except his mother when he was a kid.

He followed her up and down the aisles from a distance. She turned around to double back at one point and he dashed around the corner to prevent detection. Damn, he was almost busted. Some old lady was having trouble reaching something from a shelf and Bud grabbed it for her and stuffed it in her cart before he peered around the corner again to see where Marie was.

She was gone. Where the fuck? Someone cleared their throat behind him. Not just any someone. He’d been made.

Bud turned around guiltily as his shoulders fell. He fixed a crooked grin on his face.

"Hi, Honey. There you are."

"Bud White. Don’t you hi, Honey, me. You’ve been following me since I came in the store. I saw you behind me in a mirror when I went around the first corner." She stood there with her hands on her hips.

Bud was in deep shit. Drowning in it. Not to mention made on the first corner. The old lady saved him.

"Thank you, young man. Is this your husband? He’s very much the gentleman. You don’t find his kind very often anymore."

Bud could have kissed the old girl. "You’re welcome, Ma’am."

Marie raised an eyebrow. Just one. "Yes, you’re right. You don’t find his kind very often anymore." She gave Bud the evil eye which said that was a very good thing.

But her kind nature and courteous way took over before she could nail Bud to the wall.

"Hello, my name is Marie White and this is my husband, Bud. We just moved to the area. It’s so nice to meet you." And then Bud saw a sparkle of mischief light up her eyes and he knew she was going to nail him anyway.

"Bud would love to help you finish your shopping, carry your groceries to your car and load them in. It would give him something productive to do and keep him from being bored. Wouldn’t you enjoy that, Bud?"

It came out as a mumble, but it was intelligible. "Yeah, I would."

Fanny Smythe, for that was the old lady’s name, lit up like a fucking Roman candle. "Oh, that’s so kind of you. There are a few things I could use some help reaching. Right this way, young man. Bud." She beamed.

At that moment Bud swore that the old lady winked at Marie. Like some kind of ‘women only’ code was communicated between the two. He watched Marie for a reaction, but her face didn’t change a bit. Was he seeing things too?

He helped the sweet old lady finish getting her groceries while trying to keep his eye on Marie’s progress. She put her arm on his to stop him a moment before they went to check out.

"Bud, I can’t help but notice that you can’t stop watching for your pretty wife. Is something wrong?" Her shrewd eyes looked into his. She didn’t miss much.

"No, nothing’s wrong. I’m just worried about her. Uh, she was sick recently." Bud wasn’t saying more on that subject.

Fanny made a tut-like sound and nodded her head. "I’m glad to see she looks well now. Don’t you think if she needs your help she’ll ask for it?"

That simple question hit Bud as the truth. Even when Marie had fallen into depression after losing the baby, she had come to him for help. She wasn’t going to do anything without talking to him. And she was doing much better. Probably better than him.

He nodded. "Yeah, she would."

"I thought so. That’s nice, Bud." She smiled and patted his arm. They put her groceries onto the counter for the cashier. After she paid and Bud loaded her bags into the car, he hurried back into the store to find Marie. He was well aware he was in for it. He hurriedly finished the cookie Fanny had given him and held one out to Marie as a peace offering.

"From Fanny. She wants us to come and visit her sometime." He held up a slip of paper as Marie took the cookie, or biscuit as the old lady had called it. "This is her address. She lives close by and has some suggestions for plants to put in by the house."

Marie looked surprised. He wasn’t usually too chatty. "She talked and I listened." Bud clarified.

She looked up at him and smiled. He was glad she didn’t look pissed off. Marie reached out and brushed some crumbs and sugar off his lip. She took a bite of her own cookie.

"Oh, that’s yummy. Would you like to have some of them for home?"

"That’d be good. I’ll go get some. I know where they are."

"Okay, Bud. I’ll start getting our groceries checked out. I think I’m about finished. We can talk in the truck."

Bud headed off to get the cookies. He hadn’t figured he’d get out of this with no discussion.

Later as they sat in the truck, Bud struggled to find a way to explain his behavior. He failed miserably. He wasn’t good at this shit. She put her hand on his arm again.

He needed her closer. Bud picked her up and settled her onto his lap. He was glad when she hugged her arms around his chest. Then he wrapped her up in his big paws.

"I’m sorry, Hon." He whispered in her ear. She smelled so good. Her hair was so soft. She laid her head against his shoulder.

"I know you are, Bud. I promise I’ll try not to go anywhere on a permanent basis. I know you’re scared to lose me." She brushed her fingers across his cheek. He leaned in to kiss them. He needed her touch.

"I know you’ve lost all the women you’ve loved in your life, Bud. Your Mom, Lynn. Our baby." Her voice trailed off. It still hurt so much to talk about her. Marie’s due date would have been this week.

Bud held her so close, trying not to crush her to him. He’d almost lost her too when the baby died.

"Next time I’ll let you go to the store on your own." He kissed her hair and drank in her scent again.

"And you won’t be hiding in the truck bed?" He heard the smile in her voice.

"I won’t even strap myself to the undercarriage of the truck." He grinned at her. "Just give me time, Hon."

"We’ve got a lifetime, Bud." She held onto him as tightly as he did to her. "By the way, do you need that Phillips head screwdriver?"

He laughed. "Yeah, I do."

"Then let’s go get it and go home." She leaned up and kissed the tip of his nose.

Bud pulled her in for a real kiss which left them both breathless. He lightly kissed her lips again. She tasted so good.

"Okay, let’s go." He didn’t move an inch. Bud had everything he wanted right in his arms.