Dreaming Through Your Eyes

By Meggie

It was late Wednesday afternoon when Meggie stood in front of the dark wooden screen setting in her bedroom. The four silken panels featured two delicate, yet intricate Japanese cherry blossom branches stretching upward with its dark pink flowers. She carefully and tenderly touched one of the branches, longing to feel the softness of the petals, to touch the texture of the bark, and to embrace the fragrant scent.

Smiling, her mind went back to that evening in Nonnie’s antique shop where Jeffrey had caught sight of this. His fondness for Japanese culture intrigued Meggie, but it was the loving and romantic sound in his voice, the twinkle in his blue-green eyes, and the soft glow that filled his face while he shared his passion with her. Thank you, Nonnie, she whispered, feeling this going away gift to Jeffrey would be a symbol of their eternal love.

Meggie, did you know the cherry blossom, or “sakura,” is the national flower of Japan? Absolutely beautiful and are commonly used to set an Asian mood in any part of the house. They are frequently depicted on Shoji screens made out of thick rice paper.

His “Japanese 101” lessons, as she jokingly referred to, were his way of sharing a very private and intimate part of himself with her. She closed her eyes, held her breath, and allowed his voice to fill her heart and soul with love. Jeffrey, she whispered, wrapping her arms around herself out of a deep ache for his own.

The romantic moment was short lived, however. She’d woken up that morning with one of her dire headaches. Naturally, Jeffrey worried and promised to stay home instead playing golf in the Coffs. Meggie had refused his offer, knowing he had missed golfing since the accident and wanted him to enjoy the day to himself. Besides, she didn’t want him to worry about her when he had enough things on his mind at the moment. She had sworn since the moment she had fallen in love with him that she would always be there for him, both physically and emotionally. Unlike Liane, Meggie vowed to not let her wants, unreasonably high expectations, or fears crowd out his needs and concerns. And yet, Meggie disappointedly felt she had begun to do so whenever her and Jeffrey became more intimate. You are simply being selfish and foolish, she had told herself on more than one occasion.

Turning away from the screen, Meggie headed towards the bathroom for some pain pills. After swallowing two, she crawled into bed, pulling the quilt up over herself and returned her attention to the cherry blossom. I want to see things through your eyes, Jeffrey. I want…. She couldn’t keep her tired eyes opened any longer, feeling the heavy weight of sleep pulling her down, deep and deeper into a world of darkness and eventual peace.

The next thing she knew, she was standing in a lush green field full of cherry blossom trees. Unlike most dreams where one actually “sees” every moment, she instead felt different, odd. Looking towards her left, she saw a young woman standing alone under one of the trees, her head down. Who is that? I must talk to her. In an instant she stood beside the woman, and upon touching her shoulder, let out a gasp. It was her! How could that be possible, she frantically tried to rationalize. She was dreaming, only dreaming through Jeffrey’s eyes instead.

Then a flash of light exploded in front of her, and in the following moment, she found herself standing under on the cherry blossom trees beside Jeffrey. Only this time, she could hear not only his words, but his thoughts.

“Meggie, sweetheart, it is a century old custom in Japan to have what is known as joyful ‘hanami’ festivals under the sakuras. One can embrace both the peace and beauty offered by this natural beauty.” Oh God, how I want to kiss her and make love to her right here and now on top of a bed of pink petals. Show her how much she means to me and how I so desperately need her by my side to move forward.

Meggie stared at Jeffrey, blushing as she “heard” his desire clearly. What is happening? I must be dreaming, I must. How….

“The cherry blossom,” Jeffrey continued as he slowly wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest looking down into her eyes, “are a symbol of love and affection.” How sweet your face glows, with your soft lips parted and those wide, innocent blue eyes staring up into my own. I need you, my Meggie, now, please.

This was one hell of a dream, she kept thinking to herself, as she next felt his hand cupping her chin while he leaned down to kiss her. I’m hearing both of us, not only aloud, but I’m hearing you, Jeffrey. Oh, Jeffrey…I want more than anything….

Jeffrey’s kiss deepened and then he swiftly scooped her up, carrying her to another tree a couple of feet ahead. He gently placed her down on a patch of soft green grass, where she could hear the sound of a creek trickling behind her. Her long brown hair spilled across the grass, while a warm breeze gently caused the collar of her silk blouse to flip up. Above her, she watched the wind steal some of the cherry blossoms to send them raining down upon her and Jeffrey.

Jeffrey then knelt beside her. She looked up at him, feeling completely mesmerized by his touch and the tranquility of the surroundings. With his right thumb, he stroked her face, moving ever so slowly downward towards her neck, finally resting above her beating heart.

“Meggie, I want you, darling,” he uttered quietly before his warm lips pressed against hers.

So, so beautiful…my Meggie. Why was she still hearing his private thoughts, she asked herself, but found it difficult to think as Jeffrey brushed her hair back from her neck, exposing its smooth white skin for his mouth to consume.

With her eyes closed, she sighed as Jeffrey’s lips moved hungrily upward towards her ear lobe. Then she felt his hands on her blouse’s buttons, working carefully until he had access to those small bra covered breasts. He stopped to study her face, pausing for a moment to look into her eyes.

“Jeffrey,” Meggie began, her voice sounding small, “I…I want to….”

But he stopped her with his finger touching her lips. “Meggie,” he responded, sliding the pale blush colored bra straps down her shoulders. “You are my heart, my life, my world. My everything.” Then suddenly he stopped. Sitting up, he stared down into her face with a disappointed expression. Meggie…you…you’re… she heard his thoughts echoing loudly inside her head. His blue eyes had turned cold and she felt this huge sense of disappointment and regret coming from him.

“Jeffrey, wait. Please…let me explain…” Meggie cried out, trying to stop him from standing up and abandoning her. “Jeffrey, you….”

But she couldn’t finish her sentence as she watched Jeffrey slowly pull away from her and then begin to fade in front of her eyes. “No, please, wait! Jeffrey…I can explain…I’m sorry...so sorry….”

“Meggie, Meggie! Wake up!”

Her eyes flew open and Meggie found herself back home with Jeffrey sitting on the bed next to her.

“Honey, you were having a bad dream. You kept saying ‘wait’ and ‘I’m sorry, Jeffrey.’”

Meggie shook her head trying to clear her tormented mind. Looking at Jeffrey, she held her breath, waiting to see if indeed she had been dreaming or if she was still able to hear his thoughts.

“Meggie, tell me. Please. What were you dreaming?”

No, this time the words were spoken aloud. Brushing a small tear from her eye, she started to get out of bed before being stopped by Jeffrey. Deep concern filled his eyes and he desperately tried to see inside her mind, to discover what terrible secret she was keeping from him. He started to reach out for her, but felt her brush his hand away.

“Just a stupid dream. You know, the ones where your late to something important and you can’t get there in time. Or…,” she paused before turning around to face him with a slight smile on her face, “you’re in a crowded room but no one can hear you cry out for help. I, I was trying to get your attention but you were leaving me for another round of golf.” She laughed, though weakly, hoping her explanation satisfied him.

“Meggie, this, this whatever is going on has to stop. It’s eating you up inside, I can clearly see that. Please, let me help, just let me inside that dark place you retreat to.”

“I’m fine, I promise. It’s this damn headache. I think between worrying about you after the accident, and then the stress of trying to get everything finally moved in here is just catching up with me. But I’m alright, Jeffrey.” She moved towards him and placed a brief kiss on his lips. “It’s after seven o’clock. That must have been some round of golf.”

“Had a late start, but there’s something special I want to show you. I was talking with this other guy and his lovely wife mentioned a Japanese garden located in Sydney, I believe near Darling Harbour. I want to take you there, show you what it’s all about. And,” he momentarily paused before he walked up to the silk screen, “someone obviously shared my same sentiments.”

“Do you like it? We saw it that night when we stopped at Nonnie’s antique shop. I wanted to give you something special before…before you leave soon.” Meggie walked up to Jeffrey, and standing on her toes, kissed him with a deep sense of need.

“I’m gonna take a shower and call it a day, Meggie. I didn’t want to tell you, but you were right…my back is killing me from golfing. Guess it’s still too soon.”

“Go shower, and I’ll be here waiting for you.” She smiled and then watched as he turned away and entered the bathroom. After he shut the door, she glanced at the silk screen. “In good and bad times, if you still want me.”