He stared out the large window in his boarding room, taking in the details of the lush green land, the trees and flowers, and the wide open space with mountains silhouetted in the background. Jeffrey Wigand sighed heavily, pushing his glasses up, and turned away from the view. Walking towards his bed, his eyes fell upon a photograph lying in his open suitcase. An older man stood next to a younger woman, his right arm wrapped tightly around her small waist. They were in a park, a bright sunny afternoon in October. She was happy, smiling for a change, with a sparkle that radiated from both her eyes and face. And the man looked happy too, despite his usual brooding and untrusting nature. Picking the photograph up, his fingers gently traced the outline of the woman.

"Meggie…my Meggie," he said, almost above a whisper. For the photograph showed him standing next to the young woman who had suddenly broken through the thick and heavy barricade around his heart; who had cut down the weeds and ugly vines that held his heart in a death grip; and who had allowed sunlight and hope to shine upon him offering a second chance. Pushing his luggage bag over to the other side of the double bed, Jeffrey sat down still holding the photograph and leaned his head back against the headboard.

"Jeffrey, I’m already in love with you."

He replayed those exact words and scenes in his mind, seeing them clearly as if watching a movie of his life. Meggie had said all those things to him during the three months they had come to know each other. She was much younger, twenty-two years his junior to be exact. He couldn’t understand why such a young woman could possibly see anything attractive or loveable about him. After all, he was the "whistleblower," the man who brought down the mighty tobacco industry and exposed their lies about the dangers of smoking and cigarettes. All at the ultimate price of losing his family, while becoming an outcast and fodder for the media.

And yet Meggie Ward still saw something decent, gentle, and loving inside his damaged, broken soul that finds trusting too difficult at times. They first met at a school presentation. He had gone to give a presentation and talk to a group of high school students about morality and health issues. Since his divorce, he had decided to do something positive with his life and began reaching out to students of all ages teaching them critical thinking skills for them to use about their health and bodies. Throughout his interactive discussion, he noticed a young woman standing in the back, listening intently to everything he said. Later, after talking with some of the students in the auditorium, she had approached him. Jeffrey smiled as he lie on the bed clutching the photograph. She had been so nervous, so shy approaching him. And yet, there was something refreshing about her, maybe the way she blushed easily, laughed at his wry comments, or listened to him talk with such deep concentration and focus.

After that presentation, Jeffrey had asked her out to dinner, and much to his own surprise Meggie had agreed. They ate a lovely and quiet restaurant located a few miles outside of the city. He could still remember how she looked that night…the soft-blue dress that accentuated her body; her long brown hair pulled back by a crystal hair clip; her eyes so blue, innocent, and yet sheltering something. They talked, laughed, and enjoyed each other’s company immensely. Despite his troubled past, which she knew all about, Meggie never once asked him countless questions about it as so many people had done, still did. Would you do it again? Was it worth losing everything, even your reputation and name? What about your children?

Over the course of the next few weeks, they wrote to each other frequently via email and talked on the phone. When time cooperated, they arranged to see each other, her driving up to see him and vice versa. He realized at that point it was too late; he had fallen for her, but wondered if she felt the same feelings, if she possibly could for an older, used-up man. To his delight, she did feel something. Their first kiss was in a park, standing on a small bridge overlooking a pond with ducks swimming around. Meggie had giggled, making a comment about how cute they looked, and had turned back to see his response. At that second, Jeffrey realized how much he longed to kiss her. Gently he did, waiting to see her response…either shock at the idea or possible love in return. Her response told him what he had wondered about so desperately…she returned his kiss tenderly with her lips, bringing her hands to cup his face, before stopping and pulling away, blushing.

Jeffrey continued to see Meggie, their deepening love for each other increasing. At times, his doubting nature reared its ugly head, instilling worries and harsh words in his mind. Why possibly would a young woman want him, love him? The fears slowly worked their way through his mind until he broke from the stress. He recalled with sweet bitterness their last discussion.

Though they had not slept together, he knew deep down he longed to hold her, to make love to her, to be her first. But in the end, he knew such a relationship could never work out. Even when she begged him to come with her to Australia after inheriting some land and a home from her friends, he had declined repeatedly. The look on her face, the tears that spilled unendingly down her face cut through him like a dagger. When he had tried to explain why it wouldn’t work for the countless time, Meggie finally shut down, her eyes turning cold. Her voice echoed the deep sadness that had engulfed her soul, half sobbing and yelling at him.

And that had been there final conversation. Months passed, and the regret and guilt continued to build up inside him until he finally needed to reach out, to talk to her and try to fix things. After several messages and no return calls, Jeffrey finally heard from one of Meggie’s close friends who told him why. She had left for Australia, to start a new life.

Setting the photograph on the table next to his bed, he slowly sat up and headed towards the bedroom door. He had decided he couldn’t leave things the way they were, not without much more talking and listening. So, visiting his children and telling them he would be away for a short period, he flew down to Australia, staying at Steve and Millie’s Boarding House. After talking with Millie, he learned Meggie lived on the huge spread of land called The Glen, in a yellow house, surrounded by trees complete with a small stable and pasture for horses. Jeffrey knew he had to see her, to face her and try to explain and apologize for leading her on, for breaking her heart, despite knowing full well how much he deeply loved and needed her.

Climbing down the stairs, he headed towards the small tavern for an afternoon drink. Today, today he would see her. And try to help her understand that despite his deep feelings, she was better off without him and would come to see that eventually. He’d kiss her goodbye, wishing her all the best for her new life here in Australia, and then return to the States. But to what? To sit and wallow in his depression and loneliness?

"Jeffrey, what would you like today?"

"The usual, Steve," he responded as he sat down on a leather stool at the big wooden bar. Yes, today would be the day. But right now, the thought of facing her, seeing those hurt and broken blue eyes, made him hesitate. As so he sat, alone, drinking and staring into space hoping the alcohol would dull the pain.