“What To Feel?”

Abby sat in the back of the deputy’s patrol car - her legs folded up under herself, her arms wrapped tightly around them. She was numb, completely numb. She’d just witnessed her husband’s brains being blown out all over the road in front of her, his lifeless body collapsed on the ground in a bloody heap. He was gone – Dwayne... was gone.

Up front, she only vaguely heard Deputy Hennessy talking to her, trying to comfort her. She didn’t know what to feel, though, didn’t know how to react. She’d loved Dwayne, though she knew he had... flaws. She never imagined in her wildest dreams he’d ever be capable of something like... this.

She blamed herself... for all of this, everything. If only she’d been a better wife, if she hadn’t of left him the way she did back in Texas... he’d still be alive. Ross... would still be... Oh my God! Ross! her mind screamed, recalling how very lifeless his body had looked when she’d last seen him lying on the floor back in the house. His death would be on her hands forever! It was all her fault, she knew it! Now they’d probably lock her up and throw away the key and they’d be right to do so! She deserved it, all of it, for what she’d done, what she’d caused to happen today!

A fresh batch of tears rolled down her cheeks but she didn’t bother to wipe them away. Her mind floated somewhere in a faraway place – a place where no one could touch her, no one could hurt her.