Christmas Memories

Ben walked into the den after supper with Liana close on his heels. She'd had this little smile on her face all the while they'd been eating, like she had some little secret all her own. At the doorway, he saw what it was.

A Christmas tree stood tall in one corner, close to the picture window. Piles of ornaments lay off to one side. As he came to a halt, she almost ran into him from behind. "So this is what you went shoppin' for this mornin'."

Something in his tone of voice made Liana skirt around in front of Ben to look at his face. His eyes were cast down. He looked troubled, pensive. As though he remembered something very unpleasant.

"Ben." Liana laid a hand against his cheek. "What's wrong? You don't like it?"

A worried look had replaced the excitement and happiness that had been on her face only a moment ago. Raising his hand, he took the smaller one that lay against his face.

"It's beautiful, darlin'. Real nice." Releasing her hand, Ben circled the tree slowly, thoughtfully. "Been a long time since I put up a Christmas tree."

"How long?" Liana caught his eyes and held them. There was still a look of sadness on his face.

"Really couldn't tell you." He forced a smile to his lips. In his mind's eye, he could see himself at seven years old, hanging candy canes from branches, as his mother watched. He'd lied to Liana. That was the last time there'd been a Christmas tree in his life. At least, one he'd had anything to do with helping put up, helping decorate.

In his life before now, Christmas had been just another day. A good day for robberies really, since almost everything was shut down for the holidays. Less security. More cops on vacation. Yeah, there were a few Christmases when he'd really had something to celebrate. But no one to celebrate with, he thought to himself.

"So I'm guessin' you want me to help string lights on this thing?" Ben dragged himself back to the present.

"Well, yes, I guess we should start there." Liana was still holding his eyes. "Are you sure you like it? We could pick out another one-"

"No." He smiled at her again. "This one's perfect." He picked up a box of clear lights. "So, where do we start?"

"Right here." His wife handed him a cup. Ben sniffed it cautiously, and took a sip.

"Damn! That stuff's awful! You tryin' to poison me, woman?"

"It's eggnog." She took a sip herself, made a face. "You're right. It is awful. Well, it's the stuff from the store. I looked up a good recipe, but I haven't had a chance to try making any myself."

Moving to the bar, Ben poured a whiskey for himself and handed her a glass of wine.

Smiling at him as she sipped it, Liana asked teasingly, "You trying to get me drunk and have your way with me, Wade?"

He eyed her with a grin over the rim of his shot glass. "There any need for me to get you drunk to have my way with you, honey? Don't seem to have been any need for it so far!"

Blushing, she put down her wine glass and picked up a box of lights. "I'll plug these in and you start stringing them on the tree."

Grinning broadly, he took the string of lights from her. "You're the blushin'est woman I ever seen."

It took them three hours to finish the tree. During the entire time, Liana was aware that Ben was feeling something-remembering something-that made this a less than happy time for him. But she also knew that pushing him to talk about personal things didn't work, so she kept silent, desperately hoping that, as their new life progressed, he'd become more willing to share things with her.

Finally, they stood back to admire their handiwork. The tree was beautiful. Ben looked at the white lights, burgundy and gold ribbon and ornaments, the star at the top. His wife had good taste.

"Why don't we go to bed now?" Liana asked him softly, putting an arm around him. In bed with her, he was more relaxed, seemed more at ease and comfortable with her.

"You go on, darlin'," he told her. I'll be up in a few minutes.

Ben didn't know how long he sat staring at the tree in the otherwise dark room, remembering Christmases past from his childhood-the mother who'd left him behind. But when Liana came back down to check on him, she found him asleep in his chair.