By Meggie

Jeffrey stirred, cracking his eyes open a bit to discover sunlight filling the bedroom. Slept right through the night, he thought to himself as his blue-green eyes become more focused. Then he felt her, there, cuddled up against him on top of the blankets. Meggie had fallen asleep. He smiled, noticing how her right hand rested on his chest, while her long brown hair flowed over the pillow.

He continued to observe her, paying special attention to her parted lips, the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slept. Never would he have imagined his heart filled with such love, swelled with so much adoration, protectiveness, and need since the divorce and loss of his two girls. The sudden urge to touch her came over him, and Jeffrey reached out to brush a loose strand of hair from her face. Meggie, my love. And then he remembered, though vaguely because of the pain medication, last night’s conversation. Or rather, what had been said and what had been imagined in probably both of their minds.

Jeffrey ran his hand down her face, enjoying the softness of her skin under his fingers. Needing more, his fingers lightly ran down her arm, and then slowly rested on the curve of her hip. He could feel the increasing need to touch her body, make love to her, but something had troubled him since they had first started dating. Did she have a bad experience with another man? Abusive? Had he forced himself…. Quickly, the glowing warmth of love and desire was erased by anger, by protection. They needed to talk. The question of avoiding the topic could no longer be continued.

"Hmmm…Jeffrey. Morning."

He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he failed to hear her.

"Jeffrey? Is everything all right? You’re not feeling worse, are you?" Meggie had now sat up, her hands reaching out to his face. She couldn’t help but notice his attention was focused on something a million miles away. "Jeffrey?" she asked again, concern mounting in her voice.

The touch of her warm hands on his face finally caught his attention. He blinked several times then offered her a crooked smile. Had she said something?

"Okay, Wigand. You’re scaring me now."

"What? Oh, no, it’s nothing sweetheart. Just thinking." He slowly sat up, pausing to run his hand through his hair. "Meggie, last night. We were talking and I, I think I fell asleep on you."

She chuckled. "Yes, you did. But you needed your rest. I hope I didn’t snuggle too tightly against your backside to aggravate the spasms." A slight blush touched her cheeks.

"No, never. You can never snuggle too much. It’s the law of physics."

"What? What law of physics?" she asked, staring at him with mock disbelief.

"Quantum Physics and the Law of Attraction. There are sub atomic particles that exist inside of atoms, or the basic building blocks that are the raw materials our minds use to construct and relate to your environment. It is where science and spirituality meet."

"Jeffrey, you’re a scientist. Scientists believe in what can be seen, measured, or, or…well, proven."

The grin returned to his face. "Yes, you’re correct. Science is measured by what can be proven from gathered and analyzed data. But," he stopped, taking her hand and placing it over his heart, "some of these atomic particles are not objects, they are simply energy, beliefs. And with that in mind, all possibilities exist in every moment as waves."

She shook her head, giving him a doubtful look. "You made that up, didn’t you?" Meggie smiled, enjoying the physical connection of her hand on his chest.

"Nope. It’s also part of ‘Wigand’s Laws of Physics.’ And the ‘Law of Golf.’"

"You brute!" she shouted, playfully smacking his chest. Standing up, she crossed to the opposite side of the room, where a large oval mirror hung on the wall. Meggie tried to fix her hair, but before she could turn back, she felt his large arms wrap themselves around her waist, pulling her back against him.

"Meggie, I want to talk to you about something," he said in a more serious tone as he turned her around to face him.

She noticed how quickly his playful tone had become more serious, more urgent. Looking up into his face, Meggie could see something brewing in his mind. She took a deep breath and braced herself for the unknown.

"Sweetheart, I think I know what might be bothering you. Now, I need for you to honestly answer me."

She turned away from him, quickly trying to decide how to respond.

"Meggie. Meggie, look at me, please. I’m going to be as direct as possible, but also sensitive to what you need, what you’re feeling, okay? Do you understand me?"

After a few seconds, she nodded her head and walked back to the bed where she sat down and waited for him to join her. He did, and took hold of her hands before he began.

"I sense a…a feeling of hesitation, of uneasiness at times when we are together. I want you to know, there is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing you could say that would change how I feel about you. But I need to know, Meggie, is there something you’ve wanted to talk about, something personal, perhaps from your past?"

She bit her bottom lip, feeling suddenly trapped by the present and past all at once. Jeffrey, not now…can’t we wait, please.

He frowned, watching as she chewed on her lip. Was he going about this in the wrong manner?

Forcing herself to take another deep breath, Meggie regained control of herself and looked up into Jeffrey's concerned face before responding in a neutral tone. "What do you mean, what are you asking?"

He touched her cheek, rubbing his thumb along the bottom lip. "Meggie, did…did another man you dated or trusted ever hurt you?"

She felt a sudden pang of anxiety filling her chest, of the air around her becoming too thin to breathe and causing her to want to bolt from the room. Jeffrey firmly, yet gently, took hold of her shoulders, searching her face and waiting for a response.

"Jeffrey, it’s not…."

Stopping, Meggie inhaled deeply, trying not cause a scene. Looking down, she began to fiddle with the blanket on the bed before returning her attention to Jeffrey.

"Yes. There…yes, I was involved with someone and things didn’t work out."

Jeffrey cocked his head, trying to read her mind. "Is that all?"

"Let’s just say, it caused me to be more careful and protective."

"Meggie…," Jeffrey started, squeezing her shoulders gently, "did he, did he hurt you? What I’m trying to get at is, did he touch you or…."

"No. Not like that. We, um, had a falling out over what he wanted and expected and what I wanted and expected. Like I said, the relationship ended quickly and l…," sighing as she turned towards the window across the room, "learned a fast lesson about real life, decisions, and regrets."

Jeffrey remained silent, stunned by what he had just heard. In a way, he felt closer to understanding Meggie’s reactions and feelings, yet, at the same time, felt just as clueless as to what he should do. With deep tenderness, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him, just holding her tightly for a few moments desperately trying to reassure her. What do I do next? Pursue the topic further, or wait until she opens up more?

With her head resting under his chin, Meggie held on tightly to Jeffrey before suddenly stopping. "Ugh, I’m sorry! I forgot about your back. It’s way past time for your meds and the heat pack." She started to pull away from him, but he stopped her.

"Meggie darling, if you’re worried about what I might think or say or expect from you, we can talk about it, I promise. I want this relationship to work, and I’m trying not to screw it up by shutting down and isolating myself from those around me like I’ve done in my past. One thing I’ve learned, this type of response only prevents any chance for hope, for mending burning bridges, or making peace with the past in order to move forward."

"What’s done is done, and I don’t wish to dwell or cling to the past anymore. I want to live in the here and now, with you. We both need to move past the past, so to speak." She leaned forward and kissed him briefly on the lips. "Okay, I think it’s time for your meds again, Doctor, and you can try out that fancy heat pack I picked up at the pharmacy."

He watched her stand up, move towards the doorway, and turn around to smile at him before heading downstairs. Perhaps she was right. The past belonged in the past, and the here and now is the only thing that truly matters. I love you, Meggie Ward. And that, I promise, will never change.

Turning away from Jeffrey, Meggie fought back the tears burning in her eyes. I love you, Jeffrey Wigand. And I hope I can be your everything, both now and forever.