Subtle Panic
Chapter 21
by Bridgid
The edges of the
sign were peeling
and it didn't seem to fit in well with the expensive marble floors and polished
dark hardwood walls in the courthouse. It said; Quiet Please, Court in Session
on it and whether it be boredom or just a need to focus her attention away from
other events in her life, Lonnie read it over and over again. Quiet Please, Baby
Sleeping. When it came back that way she sighed and turned away from it.
Bud was the first one called at the inquest. This was all standard operating
bullshit and everyone involved got their time on the stand in front of the DA to
see what charges would be approved against Nordstrom and the other subjects
involved in the case. A good cop would hit the books and dig up every last
little thing from the illegal way his car was parked at the scene right on up to
the murder of the officer who stood next to Bud on the street. It would be up to
the DA's office to see which ones they could make stick.
The court room doors burst open and Bud came out looking no worse for the wear.
Lonnie figured they'd drill the shit out of him regarding his unconventional
move but she'd be called in next and they wouldn't be given much time to talk.
"You okay, in the clear?" she asked as he loosened his tie.
"Yeah, you'll do fine. They're waiting for you."
"Thank God. You still have your job." There was a sigh of relief. "Alright." She
turned to go in but he grabbed her elbow. "Lon. About what happened, about us."
"It's okay. We're okay. Don't worry."
"Just remember something." He raised his hand and tipped her chin up so he could
look into her eyes. "I love you."
He'd never quite said it so easily before this. It flowed right out of him like
he'd been practicing or something. The corner of her lip twitched suspiciously
for a moment but she did manage to smile at him. "Love you too, Bud. I'll be
okay." There were no embraces or kisses allowed then and there. Not only were
they being watched by security cameras, there were other officers, lawyers,
judges and their charges about. She drew her arm away slowly and turned. With
one moment of hesitation, Lonnie placed her hands on the courtroom doors and
pushed them open. As they closed behind her, Bud watched until they latched
shut. He wondered if the sound of the mechanism would be the end of a chapter in
his life because he'd done something she wasn't going to like, something he had
to do for her own good.
"Detective Brannigan, come in please..."
Even though the hearing was informal, it still made her slightly nervous. The
case was a success overall but there were some outstanding questions and she was
sure she'd be the brunt of some of them. Trying her best to stay composed, she
stepped up to the witness chair. The bailiff approached and gave her the usual
do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth…bullshit and she was seated.
"Detective, I'm sure you're familiar with everyone here," the judge began. "I
know you're relatively new with this department but we've crossed paths before.
I'd like to start out by commending you on your contribution to this case. As
I've said to the officers who've preceded you at this hearing, the sale of human
beings is a pet peeve of mine. It's one of the vilest crimes imaginable and I'm
proud of the job your department has done."
"Thank you, your honor."
"You're quite welcome. Now let's get down to brass tacks. Seeing as how I'm here
as a moderator. I'll turn you over to the District Attorney. Counselor, you may
proceed."
The District Attorney was a tall man and when he stood from his chair he met
Lonnie eye to eye even though her chair was elevated. His name was Michael Del
Toro and he was no cop lover. A good deal of officers put their blood sweat and
tears into bringing criminals to justice only for Michael Del Toro to use the
cases for his own benefit in election campaigns. He'd pat a dirty cop on the
back one minute for finagling an arrest, take credit for the bust in the
headlines then garnish a second headline for putting the rule breaking cop away
as well. There's where the word prick could be used properly.
"Miss Brannigan, I understand you were undercover during the first part of the
incident, is that correct?"
"Yes sir, it is and it's Detective Brannigan, sir."
Del Toro smirked. "Very well. As I'm told by your fellow officers, you faltered,
almost cost them the bust. Miss Brannigan do you have an explanation for this?"
The chair she was sitting on suddenly became warmer but a cold chill ran up her
spine. She knew there'd be some focus on her stumble but she didn't think it
would be the main focus of the hearing. She was caught off guard and fired back.
"I felt that we were compromised. I saw the subject look toward the roof and I
figured he'd spotted one of the SRT members. He then sensed my nerves."
"You felt? You figured? You made assumptions, correct?"
"No. Well, yes I did but..."
"But what, Miss Brannigan? You nearly jeopardized the entire case. You cost one
officer his life and you barely got away with your own life."
"It's Detective Brannigan and it turned out fine. The case was brought to
fruition and...I'm sorry about the officer who was killed but I don't see how
that was my fault."
Del Toro's eyes enflamed and he moved right up to her. "It's Miss Brannigan as
of now. In a joint decision between your superior officers and my office, we've
determined that you are not fit for duty. You're on ninety days suspension
pending a medical and psychological evaluation. Of course due to the union,
you'll be receiving your pay for now. Leave your badge with the bailiff, and
your gun is to be retained by the checking officers downstairs. They'll be kept
in property for now. You're dismissed. Go up to HR, get your paperwork."
She couldn't move right away. She felt as if she'd been nailed to the cross and
her arms were stuck to the arms of the chair, her feet hammered to the floor.
That warm feeling of fear and loss washed over her bringing with it the threat
of nausea. Perhaps her imbalance hormones had a lot to do with it as well,
because for the first time in her life she felt tears flow in front of people.
"Miss Brannigan, you're dismissed. Thank you for your time. I wish you all the
luck in your...recovery."
She swallowed hard and stood up. Taking her badge from her belt, she handed it
over to the bailiff and closed her eyes the minute he took it from her, unable
to watch it go. The aisle to the doors to exit the courtroom looked like an
airport runway to her and she wanted to fly out of there so fast but instead she
managed to compose herself and walk out with her head up.
The doors of the courtroom opened much sooner then he thought they would but Bud
was prepared for it. He knew what was going to happen because he recommended it,
without an ounce of guilt as well.
She stood there looking at him for a long moment. One of them had to speak first
and she figured it may as well be her.
"Can you take me home?"
Something in her voice tore through him. The piss and vinegar was gone, replaced
by some lost little girl trill that sounded like nails on a chalkboard.
"I did this to you." He couldn't say he was sorry because he wasn't, but it
wasn't his intent to break her. Is that what he did? Had he finally shattered
her spirit?
"I know. It's okay. I understand. Someone died. Never should have happened. I
gotta pay for that, will for the rest of my life."
Bud looked back toward the courtroom. Did Del Toro blame her for that? All Bud
asked for was she be put on stress leave because of her pregnancy. He didn't
blame her for anything. Son of a bitch was going to pay!
"Lon, it wasn't your fault. You didn't pull the trigger, baby. Listen to me,
you're just stressed out because of...because of this." He put his hand on her
belly. "Nothing more."
"Tell that to the widow and orphans." Then the waterworks started again. Damn
the witnesses, damn the cameras, she melted against him and sobbed. "It could
happen to us, you know? Just like me and my mom. I could be sitting home and one
night they'll knock on the door and say...sorry some lame ass cop fucked up and
Bud is..." Lonnie bit back the word; she couldn't bring herself to say it.
He brought his arms up and held her close. There was a moment for him to stare
down a uniformed cop who gave them a sideways look but it passed and he kissed
the top of her head. "Ain't gonna happen to me, baby. Only the good die young."
"Who died?" A rather heartless question, asked with a smirk by a detective who
passed by, tightened Bud's ass up so fast it broke the sound barrier. Lonnie
placed her hands on his forearms, squeezing tightly to distract him. It didn't
stop him from growling a "mind your own fucking business, asshole."
"Never mind him. Let's go, please."
This time she let him cradle her. He kept and arm around her as he walked her
away from there and he was beginning to sense she allowed it for one reason and
one reason only, her instinct. No matter how new, the fact of the matter was,
there was life inside of her. He didn't say much until they got into his car.
"Holy shit."
Lonnie turned to look at his profile and he snapped his head to face her. His
expression was a new one on her.
"What's brought that on, Bud?"
He kind of half smiled and shrugged a shoulder. "You know, I filed the pin on
your piece. You could have blown my fucking brains out if you sneezed, and you
really got a kid in there?"
"Good thing I didn't sneeze and the little stick thing I pissed on had a plus
sign on it. I guess it means I really got a kid in me."
"It's mine?"
"Who the fuck else have I slept with?"
"I didn't mean it that way, for Christ's sake. I'm asking if you're going to
share this with me, damn it."
"Right now, I'm going to share my breakfast with you..." and without any more
warning, she barfed all over the floor of the car.