That, For Me, is You
by Marilyn
Chapter 10
Seventeen years… it still seems like yesterday we stood in the snow holding each other for the last time. Since then I have been married and divorced and married again. I have been both happy and sad and I have to admit I wondered more than once….”What if?” I think that part of me always will. To me Robert will always be not so much the one that got away but the one I loved and had to let go.
I have spoken to him. I found him on one of those social networking sites one day when I was being nostalgic. I can’t express how relieved I was to find he made it home safely, and how sorry I was to hear he had never married. We chatted via Instant Message a few times before we exchanged phone numbers. Somehow we both managed to keep the pictures we exchanged of each other that December day in 1991. Much to our amazement neither of us had forgotten the other and we both swapped tales of how the other had come to mind over the years. We laughed about how we never did have our date. We learned we still have that comfortable silence between us even though we both admitted it is ridiculous to pay long distance phone rates and not talk to each other.
There was something else as well… that great intangible that always eluded definition. Part of me says I love him and that I loved him twenty years ago when he asked me out. I loved him seventeen years ago when he seemed to magically appear in uniform and I ran to him for no reason I could explain, and that I loved him when we stood together in the falling snow and I failed to seal our relationship with a kiss even though the thought of letting him go made my very soul ache.
We spoke of all the things we both left unsaid all those years ago. Chastising ourselves for not doing and saying more when we had the chance, excusing each other because of youth and inexperience. We even lamented our current situations for a few moments, indulging in vocalizing all those What ifs…
Last I heard Robert had spent some time in the hospital after suffering some severe medical issues. I sent him a note offering him friendly love and support. No response was required or received.
I doubt I’ll ever talk to Robert again. I know I will never actively seek him out again I think we have exhausted our supply of opportunities and I am happy with my life.
I think it was important for us to find each other again. To finally be able to tell each other how we felt. I wish nothing but the best for him.
Even though we have both chosen paths that will keep us apart for the remainder of our lives we at least got the chance to say the words we both longed to hear from each other…..I Love You.
That, For Me, Is You
(words and music by Jim Boggia)
What's it like
when all your dreams come true?
When your life
is given something new
and you begin to live the way you've always wanted to?
That, for me, is you.
How did I
become the lucky one?
Now - my time;
my moment in the sun
and all because the faith you gave me
finally pulled me through.
That, for me . . .
You - a cloud, a fantasy,
a perfect chord, a reverie.
All the gifts of life
I see in you.
And now I look upon my life
and can't believe the view.
That, for me -
so much more than I imagined
it could be.
That, for me, is you.