By Atonia
Day 1
I see the family has all come home to see me die. I wonder where they were when I needed a ride to the pub or down to the newsagents for a pack of fags. Ah well no matter, its good to see them whatever the occasion. I can smell the vinegar and fish and chips from the kitchen and my mouth waters, remembering…none for me now just sick people pap. It’s disgusting really, the state you get in before you go, be nice to go while you’re doing something exciting…daring even. Something fun something…maybe during sex...Ah yeah that would be the way to go, right at the peak, especially for an old bloke like me. That’d give ‘em something to talk about down at The Vic. Old Charlie and Pat, yeah they’d have a right old giggle about that. ‘Let’s have a pint on old Jim…what a way to go’; but here I lie, waiting…
“Have you got any tomato sauce?” Asked Roger, youngest of the three.
“Tomato sauce…ye been out of country too long Roge, beginning to sound like a yank ye are. Put some vinegar on.” Tommy said, second oldest of the three.
“They’re ‘is chips let him be.” Said Jimmy, oldest of the three.
“Has he had his?” asked Tommy nodding toward the hall.
“Who?” said Jimmy biting into his fish and bun sandwich.
“Me Dad…has he had ‘is tea?”
“Ah yeah, if ye’d call it that.”
The front door opened with a bang and shut with a bang, “It smells like a chippie in here, have you no respect for him up there?”
“That’ll be our Peg,” said Tommy.
“Roger,” Peg rushed over and threw her arms around her little brother. “When did ya get in?”
“This morning Peg, how are ya?”
“I’m good,” she said stepping back to look him over, “you look good Roger.”
“You too, Peg life must be agreeing with you.”
“I…yes I guess it is…ya clods haven’t made any tea.” She said glancing at her older brothers.
“Just waitin’ for you, Peg,” grinned Jimmy around his sandwich.
“I’m going up and see Dad, put the kettle on will ya?”
My daughter Peggy is here, I hear her voice above the others. She’s a pretty thing looks like her Mum she does. Same long dark hair and big blue eyes. She’s a delight, always has been a good girl. Went to school mind you, right up to the end, never missed a day; and then on to university. She’s knocking on now, nearly twenty-eight and still no husband in sight. I had hoped to see her settled before…well before…you know. Now Roger, the youngest, son went to America when he was twenty-two, he’s a right fellow is Roger, still young enough to see the possibilities of his dreams. God I remember when I was twenty-two; has it really been that long ago, doesn’t seem like it. That was the year I met Molly and my life turned upside down.
“Da how are ya tonight?” asked Peg sitting down on the bedside, “can I get you anything?”
“No luv, I don’t need a thing…you smell like rain.”
“Its pouring out shall I shut the window?”
“No leave it, I like to hear it even if I can’t get out and feel it. Your car doing all right, no trouble on the road?”
“Oh it’s fine no bother at all…I’ve something to tell you…I think I’ve met him Da.”
“Met who…oh, oh have you now? Who is he and what does he do?”
“His name is Jason Maukin and he’s an Aussie; he designs race cars.”
“Wot there’s no man of England good enough for you?”
Peg smiled, “Not that I’ve found…but Jason is…special. He’s coming down the weekend. So you’ll meet him then.”
“Ah Peg here’s hoping he’s all he ought to be.”
“He is Da…he is.”
“Peg…ya tea’s going cold.” Called Jimmy up the stairs.
“I’ll go down now Da…I’ll be here just down the hall tonight.”
“Go have ya tea Peg…I’ll be here too.”
Jason Maukin an Aussie by God, ah well…but I’ll reserve me judgment until the weekend. I’ll wait for that. No hurry after all…give the man a chance as Molly would say. Ah Molly me girl. I do believe my mind gets stronger as the body goes weaker for I can see her as plain as day…the day I met her. I was too young for the war but ready to do my bit so I signed up…shipped out…but I did get a bit of training, so when I got out I was a communications expert, heh went to work for the British Telephone. Not many people had them back then.
Molly’s dad was a shopkeeper and they lived above the shop; everything was rationed and there was always a long queue outside. We’d come to install the lines for telephone and she was leading us up the stairs to a landing where we could get access to the roof. I was I admit, a randy lad and the sight of her bum ahead of me on the stairs put all thoughts of telephone lines out of me head.
“An how did you find him?” Jimmy moved around the table making room for his sister and her mug of tea.
“He seems good…well as well as can be expected…good spirits.”
“Oh aye he is, never a down day…Tommy and me been back and forth as work will allow. An Cilla and Auntie May the same. I’m glad you’re here Peg.”
“Yeah sorry I couldn’t come sooner…but it didn’t seem like…well like it was imminent.”
“Doctor says it won’t be long…nurse comes by twice a week.” Tommy dipped into his tea.
Peg sipped her tea, “how is Cilla, Tommy?”
“Big as a house; the babe has dropped she says. I can’t do no right in the house now, just as well I’m here.”
“I don’t imagine she’s very comfortable, and little Millie?”
“Millie’s talking now putting her words together. Cilla’s Mum comes over daily and helps out with Millie.”
“Jimmy, how’s James?”
“Tall Peg, the boy’s growing daily, can’t keep him in trainers. He’ll be nine this month.”
“Do you see him often, Jimmy?”
“Oh yeah one week with me one with his Mum,” he shrugged. Jimmy was a tall muscular man who filled out his clothes well. He had their mother’s dark hair and their father’s green eyes. He was divorced these past two years, and was seeing his accountant’s secretary.
Peg smiled around the table at her brothers; it wasn’t often they were all together. Tommy still had that boyish look about him but he’d put on a lot of weight since he married, his reddish blond hair cut short back and sides. Roger, the youngest, was blond and his hair hung to his collar at odds with his black lashes and brows.
“I’ve brought my things, they’re still in the car, I’ll stay…well until…” she said looking into her mug.
“Same here,” said Roger, “I got a leave of absence.”
“Well then, I guess we’ll perch around here like a flock of vultures and wait,” said Jimmy leaning back in his chair.
“What a thing to say, Jimmy,” Tommy turned to him a little shocked.
“It’s true…well ain’t it? There ain’t any pretty words for it, Tom. The old man’s about to die. I don’t see it myself, hanging around here day after day…just waiting.”
“It’s what’s done Jimmy…there it is.” Answered Tommy.
“There’s no need for you to stay tonight, Tommy or you either, Jimmy…go home.” Roger said.
Jimmy looked up, “Home…nah I’ll stay.”
“Well I’ll stay too,” Tommy declared.
“With Cilla about to deliver you should go home, Tommy.” Peg said moving her chair back and standing up.
“No…I’m not going to be the only one not here should…well should something happen.”
“Give me your keys, Peg I’ll get your things from the car,” offered Roger.
“Ta Roger, do you think he’s ready to go?”
“Who me Dad…ah well who knows…when is a body every ready…yeah he’s tired of it all Peg…said to me he would be glad when it was over.” Jimmy said pushing his cup around on the table.
“I don’t want him to go,” Peg said suddenly overcome.
“Oh, Peg don’t…” said Tommy
“Ha! I remember you saying that same thing the time he left us in the car at the seaside.” Jimmy laughed.
“The seaside,” she sniffed and sat back down.
“Yeah you were about six, maybe we were on holiday, rented a caravan down Blackpool; aw it rained didn’t it and there we were trapped in the tin can and Roge were only a babe.”
“I remember,” said Tommy, “he cried all the time, well he were sick, and the day come the sun was out and we were all cryin’ to go to the sea.”
“Ah yes and Mum was glad to be rid of us fightin’ and yammerin’ we were, so Dad puts us in the car and he says all the way to the seaside that we was to do only as he says and nothing he don’t or else. So he parks the car and he gets out and walks over to a little outside pub like place, buys his pint and sits down he does.”
“Yeah and he’d parked the car so we were looking at the sea it were only a few meters away.”
“What happened?” asked Peg.
“Well nothing, he didn’t tell us to get out of car so we sat there for two hours lookin’ at the seaside. He finishes up with his pints and comes back to car ‘are ye happy now?” he asked, and none of us says a thing.”
“We come back to caravan, Peg and Mum sees we’re all dry and clean and she looks at Dad and says, ‘you’ve kept them nice and clean’; cause she’s wondering you know, and he says to her ‘they didn’t want to go in the sea. I took ‘em and they wouldn’t get out of car…two hours they sat.” laughed Jimmy. “Oh he knew he’d had us he did.”
“But we could have got out of the car couldn’t we?” asked Peg.
“Oh yeah that’s why he parked where he did so he could keep an eye out. Jimmy was going to get out and I talked him out of it…go bad for the rest of us I reckoned.”
“Oh dear…but he never beat us did he?” Peg smiled.
“No he didn’t have to, it were the tone of voice he used and the threat of violence that kept us in tow.” Jimmy smiled, “he was a right rounder was Dad, had his share of fights…black eyes and such.”
I hear them laughing downstairs, that’s good no long faces around here…I couldn’t stand it. They’re a good lot down there eh? Molly you’ve done me proud you have…but I told you that didn’t I when Jimmy was born. He was a big lad from the first go and we lived in the little bed-sitter. Yeah there was no passing Jimmy off as coming before his time, we were caught. Ah well it turned out alright and nearly fifty years we had…good years even when we had now’t .
Aw remember, Molly the time Tommy had to have a white shirt for some thing or another at school and ya took the sheet off our bed and sewed it all night…a fine shirt it were too. He stood there proud as punch with our bed sheet and my tie and sang his piece. I’m sorry for the hard times, Molly wish I could go back and make ‘em better for ya. Ye never complained never a word always a smile on ya face.
“Shhh…he’s sleeping I think…yeah quietly now off to bed.”