Shit Happens
by Bridgid
Mara Mackenzie stood with her arms crossed and one toe turned inward. She was more than pissed and just shy of committing murder.
"Max Skinner, do you think I fell off of a turnip lorry just last night? The only property within Cooee that's been sold during the past few weeks has been mine and if you're telling me that you'd like me to show you around Le Griffon then you can pack up your sorry pommy arse and go right back to New York on the bloody silver bird you flew in on."
"Mara, love. Is that any way to talk to me? I did this for you." He started to get out of the car but she leaned against the door to hold it closed. "C'mon, love. Can we talk?'
"I've got nothing to say to you!"
"I've got a lot to say to you."
"Talk to your fucking Blackberry."
"I would but I've thrown it in the bin."
"Yeah, right and I've got a bridge I can sell you."
"Maybe so, but you don't have a vineyard to sell."
"That's just mean!"
"It's just fact, Mara. Please, let me out of the car so we can talk. I've got a proposition for you." he shoved against the door again but she wouldn't budge.
"If the proposition has anything with you getting into my knickers ever again you're up yourself, mate."
Max smiled. "Up myself eh? Well love, anatomically that's difficult but I could try it if that's what you're into." Placing his shoulder against the door he gave it one more solid shove. She didn't quite expect this one. Low and behold, Mara fell flat on her arse in a pile of fresh irrigation mud. Gritting her teeth, she ran the back of her hand across her cheek leaving a streak of brown there as she growled at the man. "How dare you?"
"Oh for Christ's sake, I didn't mean to do that." He got out of the car to help her up but no sooner did he stand when a glob of the putrid slime splattered all over his face. He stood gobstopped.
"Ah ha! You deserved that, Max-a million." Mara pointed at him as if he'd just committed the crime of the century.
"Hey wait a minute here, don't make me the bad guy, if you care to read the deeds love I saved this vineyard."
"You stole my land!"
"I bought it fair and square."
"You...land grabber!"
"You ..mud slinger!"
Mara braced her arms behind her and swept a foot to take Max down. Both of his legs came up off the ground and he landed flat on his back with an oomph. Displaced mud with no where to go came back down on his lovely navy blue suit turning parts of it a proper business gray and his perfect white shirt would need a good washing if it were ever to see wear again. The wind left his lungs and he didn't speak right away.
"My God. I've killed you!" Mara sat there on her arse with mud dripping from her hair. "I hope you put me in your bloody will, damn it."
Slowly his hands fisted into the special mixture that surely contained some kind of sheep excrement. Her surprised face brought a bubble of laughter from him when both fistfuls of shit hit with the accuracy of an expert cricket bowlers throw.
"Have you had enough? Because that's what I was trying to tell you, Mara Mackenzie. I would like to put you in my will officially as my soul heir being my wife and all that is unless you decide to give me a son or a daughter or both or several of each."
He was a bit stunned when the dung was flung again. "You do want to get into my knickers you ..you...rake!"
"I'm not a rake anymore. There'd be rings and vows involved, a document changing your name."
Mara pushed herself up to stand. She wiped her hands off on her arse but it did no good. It was as filthy as the rest of her. She dropped a hand to help him up but he wasn't sure he trusted her. Max looked up at her and grinned. He pushed his glasses back, leaving an amusing piece of crap hanging off the nose band of them.
"Oh what the hell." He grabbed on to her hand and pulled her down in top of him. "Marry me you silly woman and I'll see to it that you smell like shit for the rest of your life. I'll buy the finest fertilizer for Le Griffon that money can buy and every year, once a year on our anniversary we'll wallow around in it like pigs in ...muck."
"Let me go!"
"Not until you answer."
"I said, let me go!"
"No. I demand an answer."
She began to wipe the mud from his face with her sleeve. "If you want me to marry you, you're starting out on the wrong foot by making demands."
Max softened his hold on her. He moved his hands to the curve of her waist and gave her a soft peck on the lips.
"You're absolutely right, love. Let me rephrase. You see, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf but its a struggle." He cleared his throat and put on a serious face.
"Mara Mackenzie, I would you do me the honor of being my wife?"
She eyed him sideways and tried not to grin. "No prenup?"
"Perish the thought."
"There is still one thing missing, Max."
"What? Tell me what it is. I'll give you anything, Mara, anything in the world. Just name it, love."
"You said it, the last word. You just said it, Max."
"Love?"
Mara nodded and Max knew exactly what she meant.
"If you think I don't love you, Mara, you're sadly mistaken. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure for a long time. I had to do some soul searching but it only took one thing to bring me to my senses. I love you, Mara Mackenzie."
"Yeah? Tell me what it was?"
"My life passing before my eyes, now tell me you love me before I wither on the vine."
"You stink. You smell like shit but I reckon I do love you, you arse."
There was a witness to the confession de l'amour en merde. Hector watched it all from his perch on the veranda. He didn't like the obnoxious tosser but he wasn't stupid. He figured he was better off with the devil he knew than one he had no familiarity with at all.
*********************
This was the third disagreement in a week she'd broken up between Max and Hector. It was hard for Hector to understand that Max was not only the new owner of Le Griffon; he was soon to be her husband. That made him the man of the house, the one who signed the cheques. Even though Mara had not gotten around to explaining just what the agreement entailed between Hector and her father, Max was beginning to pressure her. Today, the two of them stood in front of her arguing about the purchase of some bottles for the crop from Hectors field.
"Max, just please, for me buy the bottles. My father has been dealing with him in this way for decades. Can we just honor his memory in this way?"
Max paced back and forth. "The bloody bastard has no respect. Do you know what he did? He took ten gross of corks from the supply without noting it. The inventory needs to be kept up to date if we're going to keep this place solvent. Don't you understand?"
She looked over toward Hector who just shrugged his shoulders.
She threw up her hands Mara trembled a bit at first and at first she thought it was just anxiety but within seconds she found herself feeling the tell tale signs of impending doom. Max's voice became a worry filled echo to her and the last thing she felt were his arms around her before she collapsed to the floor in a trembling heap of where the fuck am I. Max knew she had this condition but it was his first experience with a seizure. Hector knew exactly what to do. He'd seen them plenty of times before with her father.
"She'll be apples." He reassured as he made sure there was nothing for her to hurt herself on. He moved a chair away and pushed back the rug. "Just stay by her but don't hold her down. Wait for her to stop, mate. She's gonna need you then."
It took about ten minutes before it all calmed down. Mara was left in a puddle of sweat and then some but she was no worse for the wear. Hector stood by with a glass of water and he handed it to Max who'd never left her side. The man's eyes were full of worry as he took the glass from his hands. As Mara's eyes fluttered open she began to cry.
"I'm sorry." she said with a rasp.
He wiped the tear from her cheek with his thumb and followed the tender gesture with a kiss.
"For what? Letting us stress you? It’s Hector and I who should be sorry." Max glanced up at the man briefly and nodded. "It won't happen again. Have a bit of this, love." He tipped the glass to her lips and let her drink. She took a small sip and choked a little.
"Easy, love." Max handed the glass back to Hector. He turned back to her. Placing one arm under her shoulders and another under her knees, he lifted her into his arms as he stood. "Bed for you, now. You need to rest."
He laid her on top of their bed and covered her with the duvet. Hector stood in the doorway and watched as Max took care to see that she was comfortable. Once he was secure in that he moved to the door and pushed Hector back. He closed the door and stood in the hallway with the man.
"Mate, we need to call a truce, for her sake and yours. Now tell me what you're up to, all of it. I want every single detail and if you leave anything out I'll see to it that you're looking for work by this time next week." Max Skinner was positive that there was more to Hector's little piece of earth than Mara knew. Perhaps her father didn't tell her everything there was to know about Le Griffon.