Richie on Richie

Richie was on the Pacific Highway, he passed through Grafton, stopped for gas in Ballina and a bite to eat. He took a dogleg out to Byron Bay and checked out the marina, The Bountee had not been in that anybody knew of. So he’d probably sailed straight to Queensland. He got back in his Rover and rubbed his eyes, he’d been on the road for two hours, his eyes burned from headlights, and he was physically and emotionally spent.

And for what, he wondered why the hell he was even looking for her…because he cared about her, damn Frank Parker. He pulled back onto the highway and let out a breath. He really needed to examine his feelings for Libby He’d been riding along thinking about all the time they spent together. He’d said it was an affair…was it? Wasn’t an affair when you loved somebody if even for a short time…he’d never admitted to anything like that? He wasn’t sure he even knew what love was anymore…Nonnie was that love? Toni? Yeah that was, something that grew overtime…she’d loved him…oh hell he didn’t want to go over that again. How deep were his feelings for Nonnie…pretty deep he thought.

All right lay it out, nobody else here to comment…Libby. What came to mind? She was comfortable to be with, good looking woman, great in bed what else did you need? What was it he needed anyway? She never asked him for fidelity but he’d felt funny when he saw someone else, didn’t want to tell her about it…why…cause that’s just the way he was, never talked about one to the other. Nonnie on the other hand demanded it, her or hit the road. How important was that to him to be faithful, if you loved somebody you loved them like he did Toni. Anybody else, if he did anybody else, didn’t touch what he felt for her but she couldn’t handle that and neither could Nonnie. Libby didn’t care or so she said…how did he know that for sure now that he knew what she felt about him.

That was the thing about women; they’d tell you what you wanted to hear did they ever tell it straight? Libby talked about friendship…God he hated that word…and all the time she was feeling something else and he wasn’t…how could that happen…how could he not know? It must have been tough for her being around him and knowing he was a prick…because he was in light of what she’d told him he had to have been. She’d tried to be a buddy to him; talking football, baseball and shit…he didn’t really want that from a woman. He wanted them all feminine and smelling good and soft…somebody to make you step up and pay attention…Nonnie was like that she didn’t let him get by with anything…Toni had been that way too. Whatever he wanted to do was okay with Libby…she should have…

Okay truth…he didn’t want a woman for a buddy. Buddies hung out at the Tavern and watched rugby on TV and told lies and bet on games. That’s why the whole buddy-friendship thing didn’t work for him. He saw her as a sexual being not a buddy. Sex…his fucking downfall. She was convenient sex like Jean had been before she got all serious about March.

Would he have been driving to Brisbane to look for Jean…probably not? He lit a cigarette and turned on the radio. His mind wouldn’t stop, wouldn’t leave him alone. So why was he going after Libby? Because she was a fuck up…gotten herself involved with a character like Barth Madison. Ok what did that have to do with him? Hell she might even be pissed when he found her. Because he cared about her…what did that mean…care? Another four letter word close to like…yeah he liked her they’d had some fun times together. When did he start…ah the night she took him dancing it had been a date hell he could recognize one when he had one and they didn’t date…no they mostly went to bed. Why had he never dated her, taken her out someplace nice? Well because she was hell bent on friendship and benefits and all that crap and it had been the date that had scared him off a little, like maybe it was going to get serious or something…he’d damn sure recognized something that night and he’d backed off and then there was Nonnie who’d come into the picture.

Nonnie, she wasn’t going to take this well he knew it, tearing off to Queensland without a word especially his going after Libby. He hit the steering wheel with is hand, what the fuck was he supposed to do? He’d hurt Libby’s feelings and he was sorry. This was crazy he really ought to just turn around and go home…fuck her. He really didn’t want to be her buddy anymore, no more hanging out watching movies and ballgames on TV. He couldn’t do that because Nonnie wouldn’t understand. He had a good relationship going with Nonnie and he didn’t want it to end and it would if he…what…went with Libby?

Yeah, see there it was again the whole sexual relationship. What a dickhead he’d been screwing around with her. He was sexually attracted, he liked her as a person but he also knew how fucked up she was and he didn’t need that. She hadn’t been really a girlfriend he couldn’t call her that so what was she to him anyway? Friend…oh please…she was a piece of ass Richie and you know it. You just let it slide too far…far enough she got serious about you.

He didn’t need it, didn’t need any of this shit…why didn’t she just leave him alone…just… but she had just disappeared. So why was he on the way to Queensland to bring her back? He had no fucking idea.