A Friendly Little Chat

Richie & Frank

by Atonia & Layne

Frank Parker was on the way to Richie's office, and he was not a happy man. In this morning's post, he'd received a note from Libby, whom he'd not heard from in the past two days. The note had been short. Said only that she was okay and that she needed to get away. Frank had already been worried that he was unable to get in touch with her and the note, far from easing his mind, had only made him worry more.

He'd stopped by the newspaper office to check with Cal McAffrey. Libby's boss had told Frank that he'd gotten a message from her. A short message that told him only that she'd be gone for awhile and that she didn't expect him to hold her job while she was gone. He hadn't said anything more.

After leaving the newspaper, he'd dropped into Mr. Jessup's store to pick up a few things. Always the gossip, old man Jessup had been full of a story about Richie and Libby and the Tavern a few days ago. Frank had listened politely, and the more he heard, the more his anger had grown. He hadn't known how much of the story was actually true, but Frank had found that there was always some kernel of truth in gossip.

He'd managed to contain his anger until lunchtime, when he knew Miss Peeg would be leaving for awhile. It was time now, and he was opening the door. His darkly handsome face, normally lit by a smile and his charm, was set and angry. "Miss Peeg." Frank nodded to the woman who was on her way out the door, as he came in.

Miss Peeg widened her eyes and kept on going, glancing back as she closed the door.

“Hey Frank, what’s up?” Richie glanced up and back at the folder he was reading.

Frank turned the lock on the front door of Richie's office with an audible click. "You're closed for lunch, Richie. That's what's up," he said, his voice deadly quiet.

Richie stood up and walked to the door of his office, hands on hips, “What the fuck is going on with you?”

Facing Richie, his expression still, as though it were set in stone, Frank pulled the envelope from Libby out of his pocket and handed it to Richie. "Got this from Libby this morning," he said, his voice still quiet. "Mailed from Coffs two days ago. Same day she was seen leavin' the tavern and tearin' outta town. After meeting with you."

Richie looked down at it, “I’m supposed to know something about this?” He didn’t like Frank’s attitude.

Frank gave a little grin, though it didn't reach his eyes. "I've done a little investigatin' and, from what I've heard, you oughta know everything about it."

“Sorry,” he handed the note back to Frank. “We had a little heart to heart discussion at the Tavern. She didn’t say anything to me about taking off for a while.”

"A heart-to-heart." Frank said the words as if he didn't believe them. "You and Libby had a heart-to-heart?" He knew all about Libby's heart where Richie was concerned. More than once, he'd held her while she cried over it all. And he'd listened to everything she'd said about it. "From what I gather, Libby's heart was involved in the discussion, but yours was nowhere to be found."

He fixed Richie with a steely stare. "What'd you do to her, Richie? What'd you say?"

“Look, Frank- I had no idea how she felt about me until the other day. I’ve never given her any encouragement in that direction. We had an agreement, the two of us…no strings, okay? I basically told her it wasn’t happening for me.” He ran his hand through his hair and looked away.

Frank was shaking his head slightly. He knew that could only be part of it. "That can't be all of it, Richie. She talked to me a lot about how she felt about you. She knew you didn't feel the same. Didn't expect you to. Hearin' that wouldn't have broken her up so bad. There must have been somethin' else."

“I told her…told her I didn’t want her waiting around for me. Ah shit Frank, we screwed it up. Friends don’t sleep with friends…I shoulda known better. There’s too much…too much there, we can’t just be friends. I’ve got Nonnie to think about and I’m damn well not going to do anything to hurt her.”

Frank couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And to hell with Libby's feelin's? Is that it, Richie? Protect your Nonnie and if Libby gets hurt in the process, that's just the cost of doin' business, huh?"

Frank had come in here angry and his anger had at least doubled in the past minute. "Never mind how much you mean to her? And never mind that you care about her? You do care about her, Richie. You've told me that yourself, more than once! You forgettin' all about that now?"

“I didn’t mean to hurt her. We’ve always been straight with each other and, yes, I care, but it ain’t my fault Frank. I can’t control what she feels. She broke her own rules, set herself up for it. I’ve never said I love you to her…never because I don’t. It was all her fuckin’ game…friends with benefits, yeah right. We’re both fuckin’ screwed now…I can’t be around her, knowing how she feels…I can’t. I don’t want to know she’s available anytime, anywhere okay?”

"It ain't your fault?" Frank echoed his words, still unbelieving. "You're fuckin' worried about somebody blamin' you? Goddammit, Richie, nobody's placin' any blame here! You didn't hear what I said, did you? I don't blame you for how she feels! And Libby don't blame you for how she feels! I just told you, she knew you didn't love her and she didn't expect you to! Ain't nobody expects you to control her feelin's. But you don't have to damn well destroy 'em either!"

He was still wound up. "And now you're sayin' it was all HER fuckin' game, huh? Seems like I remember hearin', from you as well as her, that, at the time,YOU thought bein' fuckin' 'friends with benefits' was a damned fine idea yourself!"

“Well I was wrong, okay? It ain’t a good idea now is it…? Look where it’s led us…I don’t want to be here.”

"You don't wanna be where, Richie? Just where is it you don't wanna be?"

“I don’t want to be the asshole that tells her to leave me alone…get out of my life. No it’s not all her fault, Frank. Look, I’m not known for fidelity. You know that, but I’m tryin’ here…I’m tryin’ with Nonnie. I don’t need Libby standing there, telling me she’d like to go upstairs at Millie's with me, cause you know I been upstairs at Millie’s with her and it ain’t easy for me to say no. I can’t be friends with her don’t you see…?”

"Yeah, I see," Frank said slowly, deliberately. "Tell me somethin', Richie. Man to man. What are you gonna do about all the other women out there? There ain't no shortage of available women. You know it and I know it. I know there was a couple of others 'sides Libby you were screwin', and then there were the two you and me picked up at the bar that night. So, you break Libby's heart and heart and get rid of her by tellin' her you can't be friends with her... But what are you gonna do about all the others that are just out there, ready and willin'?"

Richie stared at him for a moment, “I ain’t looking, Frank. Nonnie’s all I want, all I need. I kind of went crazy for awhile after, Toni and I split. Yeah, I know they’re out there. I just don’t want to play that game anymore. I’m not single, because I want to be. I’m alone because I screwed my shit up. I ain’t gonna screw it up with Nonnie… I’m sorry about Libby. She’s a great kid, but I can’t handle it, Frank. It’s not good for her either, to be hung up on me. She needs to get on with her life and find somebody that will love her back. It just ain’t me.”

"You don't have to be lookin', Richie. Sometimes, they just show up." Frank was still angry, but right now it was a slow, deliberate anger. Libby had become like a daughter to him and he reacted like a father whose daughter had been hurt. It just happened to be one of his best friends in the world who had hurt her.

"So, are you tellin' me, Richie, that you want Libby too much to be around her--to even be friends with her--without fuckin' her?"

“Yeah that’s about it. It’s always there available, and I don’t need that. I don’t want it in my face, and it is with her. I know how you feel about her. I’m sorry I disappointed you, Frank. It’s not like I won’t speak to her or be friendly ya know, but I’m not going to put myself in a position to where it can lead to something else. “

"I hate to be the one tellin' you this, pal," Frank told him, "but if you want her that bad, then sayin' that Nonnie's 'all you want and all you need' ain't exactly bein' truthful, is it?"

“There’s a sexual attraction there, I don’t deny that. Hell, that’s what the whole friends with benefits was based on. Sooner or later you gotta move on, and I have. I’ve met somebody that gives me a lot more than a turn in the sheets and I’m not saying that’s all Libby was but, that’s what I thought of when I was with her. It wasn’t the Saturday ball game on TV.”

That statement made Frank's anger flare again. "Dammit, Richie, let's get to the bottom of things here! I ain't tryin' to come down on you. I gotta go out and find Libby and make sure she's all right, and when I bring her back here, I just wanna know the truth about things!"

"Hell, no wonder Libby's mixed up! Sounds to me like you been givin' the kid enough mixed signals to confuse anybody!" Frank took a deep breath.

"You've told Libby before that you and she were friends, that you'd always be friends. You've told me the same thing. So, are you goin' back on your word now?" He went on. "You say you wasn't thinkin' about the Saturday ball game when you was with her, but the two of you watched ball games, listened to music, did all kinds 'a things together that friends do. It wasn't all just fuckin'. That six weeks after she lost that baby- You brought her dinner and took care of her and there wasn't no sex involved."

"There was times when she did things for you that had nothin' to do with what went on between the sheets! So, was you lyin' to Libby when you told her you were friends? And was you lyin' to me when you told me you were friends with her? 'Cause I don't think you were lyin', Richie! I think you're tryin' to take the damned easy way out of things! I think you're tellin' me that stayin' friends with Libby would be such a tough thing to do that you ain't willin' to make the effort!"

“It wasn’t just friendship- It’s like we were dating, goin’ out together, goin’ to bed together. I’ve moved on Frank. I don’t know what kind of friendship we can have now, if any. All that shit we did together ain’t gonna happen again. I wanna watch a damn ball game, I’ll call Steve or some other guy. If I want to listen to music, I’ve got Nonnie…so it’s…over, whatever the hell it was.”

"You ain't answered my question, Richie.' Frank spoke quietly and patiently. "So you was lyin' to me and Libby both? You told us both that you were friends and you'd always be friends, and you lied?"

“Call me what the fuck you want to, but I’ll tell you this- If she got in a jam and needed some help, I’ll be there, okay? It just ain’t gonna be like it was. I ain’t doin’ that. It’s not fair to her and it ain’t fair to me.”

"She's in a jam now, Richie." Frank searched his friend's face long and hard. "She's in a jam and what she needs is your friendship. Not for you to be in love with her. Not for you to give up your girlfriend for her. Not even for you to fuck her. But she does need your friendship."

“What she needs is her ass kicked.” Richie looked him in the eye. “So where the fuck do you think she’s gone this time?”

"No more than you do, pal," Frank told him. "No more than you do." He noted that Richie had totally ignored his words about Libby needing his friendship. "And if I find out that she's not okay--all because you don't have enough control over your hormones to keep your dick in your pants when she's around--I will kick yours as well as hers. Count on it."

“So what do you wanna do, we gonna play detective or wait until she surfaces. Sounds like she’s just looking for some time alone to me. Nothing to say she’s in trouble or anything.”

"I don't 'play detective',' Frank retorted with a grin. "I am one. And that note don't sound like Libby. It's too short. Too terse. You know Libby. She chatters. Even on paper."

He looked at Richie doubtfully. "And I'm thinkin' I oughta be looking for her alone."

“I can’t give you days, Frank, cause I got too much on my plate here, but nights you got if you want my help. Whatever resources I can bring to bear ya know?”

"I know." Truth was, Frank was still angry and a little confused. His friend seemed full of contradictions. He wanted Libby, but he didn't. He said things were over, but he cared for her enough to be worried about her and to want to help look for her. If it was enough to confuse Frank, no wonder Libby was out of sorts.

"I may call on you when I get some idea of where she might be. In the meantime- You've known her longer than I have, Richie. And, in some ways, you know her a lot better. You got any idea where she'd go if she was upset?"

“I don’t, Frank, I have no idea.” Richie threw his hands up.

"Then I guess I just start in Coffs, where the note was sent from," Frank said quietly. He was still wondering how wise it would be to actually have Richie help look for her. About what might happen when the two of them were together again.

"Tell me somethin', Richie- If you were the one to find her. If you were out lookin' and you came face-to-face with her- What would you do? What would you say to her?"

“I honestly don’t know. I don’t want anything to happen to her. I’d like to see her happy and getting on with her life, like I’m trying to do with mine. I might tell her she needs to grow up and face reality. I never intended to hurt her. You gotta believe that, Frank. Her definition of friendship and mine are two different things. Yeah I can be friendly with her, but I ain’t hanging out with her anymore, I’m sticking to the guys over at the Tavern. That’s just how it is…so maybe you’d better be the one that finds her.”

That brought Frank's anger to the forefront again. He tried to contain it. "Richie, just what do you think Libby's definition of friendship is?"

“I got guy friends okay? Miss Peeg’s a friend…I don’t sleep with either of them and have no desire to. That’s where Libby’s definition and mine differ. She says she’s there for me as a friend…but she’s fuckin’ in love with me! I don’t want that kind of a friend. How many ways do I have to spell it for you, man? We had an affair not a friendship…it’s over.”

And now Frank's anger was back full force. "You don't have to spell it for me any more, Richie! I got it! It's you who's missin' the boat! Just 'cause Libby told you she's there for you if you want her don't mean she's expecting you to sleep with her! It means she's leavin' that up to you! If you want her, she's there. If you don't, that's fine too! I know, because she's told me that more than once! I don't know how the hell you could spend so much time around Libby, but not know what she's all about! Libby's friends with a lot of guys. You fuckin' think she goes around sleepin' with 'em all? No! When she talks about bein' friends with you, she's talkin' about bein' friends with you, the same she is with me. The same way she is with Cal McAffrey down at the Times office!"

Richie was pissed, “No it ain’t the same thing…she didn’t spend months in bed with the rest of her guy friends and, as far as I know, she hasn’t told them in so many words that she’s in love with them…so it ain’t the same animal.”

"Sounds to me like you're the one havin' trouble lettin' go of the fact that the two of you slept together!" Frank was pissed too.

“Fuck yes…what do you think about when you see somebody you’ve been to bed with? She can say what she wants to, but I know she’s thinking the same thing…that came up too at our little tavern talk. We both thought about going upstairs…I can’t do that shit…but that’s what’s there on the table between us, and that’s why it ain’t gonna work for us.”

"Right now, Richie, I'm thinkin' that Libby knows better than you that thinkin' about somethin' and doin' it are two different things. That she's got more control than you have. You seem to be afraid that just thinkin' it automatically means you're gonna do it. Fuck, man! You got some fool idea in your head that you're never in the rest of your life gonna THINK about screwin' another woman 'sides Nonnie? That ain't gonna happen, my man. Whether it's Libby or somebody else, you'll think about it. I know you well enough to know that, Richie. And you can't just run 'em all outta town." Frank was giving him a knowing look.

“Like you said- Thinking and doing are two different things. I can do it.” He hitched up his jeans, “I did it with Toni, until everything started falling apart…I still think we’d be together, if it wasn’t for her wanting a child. I can do it with Nonnie. And for your information, Libby’s control is about that long.” He held up a paperclip. “If I moved on her--bang--out the window it goes, so don’t go giving her any superwoman powers, okay? She’s a mixed up kid. I know her well enough to know that, and I’ve tried to talk to her about it, instead of encouraging her in my direction. If you’re so protective of her, you should have been doing the same thing, instead of letting her go on thinking one day I’d see the light and look at her differently. It ain’t fair to her, carrying that shit around inside her.”

"I don't control Libby's thinkin'," Frank told him. "I don't LET her think nothin'. If I did control it, I'd have her thinkin' in some totally different direction than you, pal. But, no- She's probably the one person in the world who thinks Richie Roberts is grand, just the way he is! And it's a cryin' shame that you can't allow yourself to be friends with a woman like that. A woman that accepts you just the way you are."

"You know, Richie," he went on thoughtfully. "I think back and I remember all the people you've been friends with for years. All the guys from your old neighborhood who became dealers and pimps and everythin' else. But you stayed friends with 'em, even after you became a cop. You played ball with 'em, you went to their parties and weddin's and funerals. You even made one of 'em your son's godfather."

"And then there's me. You arrested me; you prosecuted me; you put me in prison. And then you became friends with me. You knew what I was and you knew everythin' I'd done. The dealin', the killin', all of it. But you still became my friend. You got me outta prison and you helped me get my life back together. I wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you. Might've starved to death out there on the street, but you wouldn't let me. You remember tellin' me that, Richie? That you wasn't gonna let me starve?"

“Yeah…so what’s your point? I’m a fuckin’ social worker.”

Frank was continuing, still in his thoughtful mode. "You put your job--your career as a cop and then as a lawyer--on the line. Hell, you even put your life on the line! There were threats made against you, contracts put out on you. But nothin' scared you away. The Richie Roberts I got to know never let nothin' stand in the way of him bein' friends with somebody."

He came back to Richie's question. "My point is this- When you really, truly cared about somebody, nothin' stopped you, Richie. Nothin'. I never saw you throw away a friendship just 'cause things got tough for you. But now- You're throwin' Libby away 'cause you're afraid--and, unless I miss my guess, 'cause Nonnie's afraid--that you can't stay out of her bed."

“Well in the first place, I never slept with any of the people you mentioned. I never had an AFFAIR with any of them, not even you, fuck up. I’m not throwing away a friendship-and I’m beginning to hate that word--I’m trying to extricate myself from a situation that was going nowhere. I’ve moved on. Libby and I sat across from each other and thought about it…I don’t want to be in that position, Frank. I don’t want to think about it. You put me across the table from Toni and I’m thinking about it. And no, I don’t think I need to be in a padded cell. I just don’t need shit laid out for me and Libby does. She said it was there. I’ve never claimed to be a saint and I ain’t looking to be one. I’m just trying to be true to the woman I happen to love.

“I can’t look at Libby now and not think about what she told me, about how she felt about me. That ain’t friendship, my friend. That’s taking it where I don’t want to go.”

"But that's my point, Richie." Frank was standing up now. "You've faced everythin', includin' death, but it's a damn little thing like an affair with a woman that scares you off." His voice was still calm, because now, Frank thought he had a pretty clear picture of everything.

"And I don't get why you feel a need to get out of somethin' that was 'goin' nowhere', as you put it. Okay, you don't like the word 'friend' where Libby's concerned, we'll use the word buddy, or pal, or mate, as they say in these parts. You and me been 'pals' a long time, Richie. That ain't gone nowhere. You want outta that, too?"

“You’re beatin’ a dead horse, Frank.” Richie stood up too.

"No, I'm not, Richie." Frank crossed his arms and stood there, staring at his friend. "And that's your problem. You didn't get out of the situation with Libby cause it was 'goin' nowhere'. You got out of it 'cause you were so damned afraid of where it might go!"

“You’re wrong there, dead wrong my friend. I never loved her like that, never had those kinds of feelings for her not like I feel for Nonnie.. She was a friend and she was convenient sex. I was looking for more than that.”

"You're afraid of Libby." Frank went on, confident now. "I didn't say nothin' about love. But you care about her, and you want her. And you're afraid of wantin' her so much that you won't be able to control it, and it'll break up you and Nonnie."

“So what if I am,” he said quietly. “Caring about somebody and loving somebody, being romantically involved with them, are two different things Frank. I care about her. I’m sexually attracted to her, and that’s reason enough for me to stay away from her. I love Nonnie. We’ve got something good going between us. I ain’t gonna mess it up. I’ve got two failed marriages behind me, both my own fault. You think I ain’t learned something from that? You put a drink in front of an alcoholic, he’s got two choices. I’ve made mine. So leave it alone.”

That last comment had gotten to Frank more than any other. "You're talkin' about Libby like she's a glass of cheap booze! Like she's no more than some whore you picked up on a street corner! How the hell can you care about her and then talk about her like that? And treat her like you have? What would you do if someone talked about Nonnie and treated her that way? Or Toni? She's your ex-wife and you wouldn't put up with that, either!"

“Oh fuck off, Frank! I never said she was a glass of cheap booze, I was talking about myself and my ability to control my own urges. I know what you’re trying to do. Libby’s your baby and nothing would make you happier than to see her happily set up with me, but it ain’t gonna happen. I’d like to see her happy too--get herself a good man if that’s what it takes. But as far as a ‘friendship’ with me, that’s changed. It’s not ever going to be what it once was. Get that through your thick head.”

Frank was calm once again. "That ain't the only thing that's changed, Richie. You've changed. And it ain't for the better. You ain't the Richie Roberts I know any more. I do see Libby like my own daughter. But it wouldn't make me happy to see her set up with you. It'd make me happy to see her in love with somebody else entirely. But I know Libby, and that ain't gonna happen either."

Without knowing it, Frank said much the same thing to Richie that Barth was telling Libby. "You see Libby as a problem now, and all you did was send your problem away. Avoid it. You gotta face it head on, Richie. Otherwise, it'll just follow you. Come back to haunt you. You think this thing is over now, Richie. But it ain't. Not for Libby. Not for Nonnie. Not for you. I know about things comin' back to haunt you, Richie. I know a lot about that. You can take my word for it. You may not believe it now. But it'll happen."

Frank had been standing with his hands in his pockets, but now he pulled the left one out slowly. Set a key on the edge of Richie's desk and pushed it across toward him. "I don't think it's a good idea for me to stay in your apartment any more. The sublease from Libby is paid up through the end of the year, so the money's no problem."

He looked thoughtfully at Richie. "This ain't the Richie Roberts I know. The Richie I know went to the mat for someone he cared about. Libby's been dealin' with these feelin's she's got for you for months. But she told me more than once, 'All I want is to be friends with him, Frank.' She was willin' to settle for that. It didn't have to be nothin' else. Tough as it would be for her, she was willin' to work as hard as it took to make that happen. You used to be that way too, Richie. You'd do anything. Nothin' was too tough. You ain't that way any more."

"If this is what being in love with Nonnie has done for you, then I ain't so sure it's a good thing. It ain't that I don't want you to be happy. I do want you to be happy. Just as much as I want Libby to be. What I'm lookin' at here, though, is that Nonnie don't trust you with Libby and YOU don't trust you with Libby. And it's Libby who's payin' the price for all this mistrust that ain't even hers. You was always big on justice, Richie. That sound like justice to you?"

At the door, Frank flipped open the lock. "You can go and tell Nonnie now that you've put Libby out of your life. Hell, you can tell her that Libby's out of the Glen! I hope like hell that'll make the two of you happy, Richie. Maybe you can trust each other now? Until the next woman comes along." Frank calmly walked out, the door closing behind him.

Richie cleared his desk with one powerful sweep, sending papers, pencils, phone and laptop flying across the floor. He closed the door to his office and picked up his jacket from the hook in Miss Peeg’s office and left.