Oh For Crying Out Loud

It had been going on for some time, first one thing and then another. Gena was only trying to help, but to Toni it seemed she was picking apart all the plans she and Richie had made for their wedding.

"What do you mean you don’t have a trousseau? " asked Gena

"I don’t need it Mum, we’ve been together almost two years for cryin’ out loud." Toni was furiously wiping off the counter in the kitchen.

"Well you must have something for your wedding night."

"I have lots of fancies Mum. We sleep in the nude okay?" Toni felt she was about to lose it

Carol walked up behind her, "Don’t scratch it, Toni it only makes it worse."

"What’s wrong with your bum?" asked Gena rising from the table

"She’s got hives, Mum," answered Carol.

"Hives!  For your wedding, how could you, Toni?"

Toni turned and glared, "I was fine until you showed up."

"That’s not very nice after we flew half way around the world for this event." Gena  pouted

"I need a drink," declared Toni and threw the sponge in the sink. She headed for the liquor cabinet in the living room.

"Pour one for me," called Gena, "Do you have the makings for a martini?"

"CAROL," Toni yelled.

"What is it honey?" asked Carol hurrying into the living room.

"GET…HER…AWAY…FROM…ME…NOW," Toni whispered through gritted teeth.

"She’s your Mum," admonished Carol.

"Not possible…I would have remembered her," Toni knocked the whiskey back neat.

Carol had sense enough to gather Gena into the car and head for the tavern. "Toni said they make really good martinis at the tavern," she offered.

"I only want to do something for her, Carol, she acts like she doesn’t need her mother at all."

"She’s under a lot of stress right now, Mum."

"She’s my daughter and I love her. She’s about to get married and she needs me whether she knows it or not."

Toni poured another drink and took it upstairs to her bathroom. Reading the instructions on the box of soothing oatmeal bath she dumped it in the tub.

Richie knew he was in deep trouble. He had been unable to find a Celebrant on such short notice and he only had one more day to find somebody to perform the ceremony. He handed his keys to Jude and waved them off.

The house was strangely and blissfully quiet and after checking downstairs for Toni he climbed the stairs. He heard the Jacuzzi going and opened the bathroom door. Toni was lying back in the water with her head on the side, empty glass on the shelf beside her.

"Drunk in the middle of the afternoon?" he asked teasingly.

Toni opened one eye, "You’ve got less than one minute to get naked and get in."

Richie pulled off his shoes and socks, "What brought this on did you kill the rellies?"

"No mate, not yet I sent them away," she sat up, "Wait…you didn’t leave any lingering downstairs did you?"

"No, sent your Dad and Jude to the tavern."

"Now I know why I love you so much," she grinned.

"How’s your er bum?" he asked slipping into the water.

"We’re not going to talk about it…makes it itch."

"Can I touch it?" he asked moving over to her.

"Yes."

"Does it itch now?" he asked moving his hands over her hips.

"No but something else does," she murmured.

"Ah Toni, just let us get through the next couple of days and we’ll tell them all to go to hell."

"Are you going to scratch it?" she asked huskily.

"I thought you said it didn’t itch?" he asked against her ear.

"OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD," she yelled before he silenced her mouth with his.