Scars

By Ilaria

Part Two

"He is here and asked if you might wish to spend some time with him." Numerius said without foreplay, leaning against the doorpost of the kitchen, his arms crossed over his chest and a pleased smile on his lips.

He watched as Gaia almost dropped the bowl she had in her hand to the ground and his grin widened, for he knew her reaction was not due to shock or fear, but to excitement. More than once, in the past five days, the days that had followed her first encounter with the hooded man, Numerius had caught his friend turn her face to the main hall every time the door of the tavern opened and he had noticed her disappointed look as she watched the new arrivals’ faces.

Gaia put down the pot, cleaned her hands on her apron and peered into the other room, a whisper of jasmine perfume assaulting the innkeeper’s nose and causing him to smile once more: his friend was really on the road of recovery, beginning to behave again as a woman, and he bet against himself how much time it would take before she realized she was still beautiful and that her scars were not as bad as she believed. But that, he thought, depended on how quickly the scars in her soul and heart would heal. And he silently prayed the man with the hood kept on behaving like he did till her healing process was complete- it would be a terrible blow for Gaia if he should stop visiting the tavern.

Numerius put his arm around her back, patted her shoulder with his hand and exclaimed, tilting his head to the hooded guest, "Go to him, I will take care of the kitchen!"

"Are you sure?" she replied, hope evident in her gaze.

"Of course! I am not so bad a cook, you know?"

"I know!"

He saw her shining brown eyes smile, before she freed herself from the apron, smoothed her clothes, and went to meet her date without any hesitation.

*****

"Do you like it, my lady?" he whispered and Gaia’s pleasure-dazed mind was barely able to compose a coherent answer.

"Yes... very much."

"Good; you must tell me if you don’t like something."

She nodded with her head, not really caring if in the darkness of the bedchamber he could not see her gesture. She only wished he went back to his previous actions…

Gaia moaned aloud when his mouth returned to tend to the lips of her sex, his soft tongue lapping at her juices and caressing her sensitive flesh. She had been surprised and then delighted when he had slid down her body to nestle between her thighs and began to love her in that most wonderful way. He sucked at her swollen bud again and she arched her back in sheer ecstasy, her hands buried in his short-cropped hair. Then, after a last kiss on her belly, he moved up to cover her body and soon he was inside her, his turgid, male flesh loving her in a steady rhythm, as he whispered sweet nonsense into her ear.

Gaia was too excited to last long and she did not, quickly reaching her peak under his expert ministrations, soon followed by him, his warm seed bathing her welcoming channel. Then he collapsed over her as during their past encounters, and she idly caressed his sweaty back, as she regained her breath and strength. She felt a sense of loss when his member softened and left her, but the sensation was somehow reduced by the curiosity caused in her by his sudden, loud moan. Gaia had just brushed her hand over his left upper arm, touching one of the two scars standing there. It was not the first time she had touched it, but he had never reacted to her fingers in that way.

"Did I hurt you?" she enquired.

"No; quite the contrary." Came the muffled reply, since he was still lying with his face buried between her breasts. "The nerves become more sensitive after love and the sensation of your hand was very pleasurable."

"Oh," she uttered surprised, before brushing the scars again and enjoying his answering moan. "This one is very deep," she commented, fingering the upper portion of ridged tissue. "May I know how it happened?"

"I was wounded during...a battle," came the slightly hesitant reply.

"Are you a soldier?" She asked, her hand sweeping over his back in a large caress that brushed another, little scar in the region of his kidneys.

"I was. Now I am just a farmer."

"My husband too was a soldier, but he wanted to be a farmer." Gaia murmured, surprised by her willingness to share a part of her past with an almost total stranger, but there was something in him that inspired her confidence, that had gained her trust, just as it had convinced her to let him into her bed.

"Did he die in battle?" he asked gently, rolling away from her, but pulling her against him, making her rest on his chest.

"Yes," she murmured, not yet ready to tell him her husband had been executed for treason.

"I am sorry."

Gaia nodded with her head and silence fell in the room for several moments, as he lightly caressed her back with his fingertips, until a sudden thought crossed her mind. "What’s your name?" she asked, feeling a bit guilty for not having enquired about it sooner.

He laughed softly and replied, "You can call me Gaius."

"I could- but it is not your real name," she remarked, almost repeating his words during their first meeting.

"Indeed. It was my son’s name." His voice dropped to a mere whisper.

"I too had a son named Gaius," she murmured, understanding he too had lost his child and wanting to share his pain.

"Really?"

"Really. He died a few years ago."

"You had a very sad life, my lady Gaia." He murmured but she decided not to reply. The conversation was beginning to become too intimate for the two strangers they still were, and thus she felt her defences coming up. She was not ready to speak more about her past, not now and perhaps not ever.

Gaius sensed the change in her attitude and squeezed her middle with his arms, showing her he had understood her sudden silence and was going to respect it.

Gaia was surprised by his sensitivity and by her comprehension of his reactions, but refused to ponder the matter further, lest she lose the peace of mind their lovemaking had brought to her.

*****

Maximus was lying on the bed, his eyes closed, savouring the sense of relaxation coming from his recent climax. Wrapped in his arms, Gaia was beginning to gain back her breath, and he let one of his fingers slide on her face to trace the scar that crossed her right cheek. The ability with which he was now able to find the details of her body in the darkness, amazed and then saddened him. He had thought he would have been able to settle only with their meetings in the dark, glad for their beautiful and uncomplicated lovemaking that allowed him to return to his house relaxed and in peace with himself, but lately he was beginning to think it was no longer enough for him. More than once he had awoken in the middle of the night, searching for Gaia’s warmth in his bed, and had been disappointed not to find her there.

Even if he had not planned for it, she had entered under his skin and now he wished to deepen their relationship. Maximus wanted to see her face- he wanted to take her outside the tavern, for a walk in Emerita Augusta, without his cape and let it be damned if someone recognized him! He wanted to ask her to come to the farm with him... But unfortunately Gaia gave no signs of wishing to take their relationship to another level. But perhaps there is still hope, he thought as he remembered the conversation they had several days before about her husband and their dead sons, two boys who had shared the same name, Gaius. A coincidence that had made them feel closer, even if Gaius was a very common name...

"Gaius?" Gaia’s voice softly intruded his thoughts.

"Yes?" he replied, a bit surprised for he had thought her asleep.

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Do you believe in the Afterlife, Gaius?"

The whispered question made Maximus open his eyes in surprise. He quickly recovered his wits and clearing his voice replied, softly but surely, "Yes, I believe in the Afterlife."

"I too. I believe my husband and son are waiting for me there

"I am sure they are," Maximus replied, feeling a sense of familiarity as the memories of a similar conversation returned to him. It had happened in Zucchabar, as he and his fellow gladiator friend Juba had observed the sunset from the roof of Proximo’s school. But that day he had been the one in need of a reassurance, while today he was the one giving it.

"And what do you believe they will think of my behaviour?" Gaia enquired, resting her head more comfortably on his chest.

"Your behaviour?"

"Yes, about my encounters with you."

"Oh…well, I don’t know," Maximus began, a bit hesitant, but gaining confidence along the speech, "but if your husband loved you as much as I loved my wife, I believe he will understand you are only human, with human needs. I have always felt guilty to have survived my wife and son, and for a long time I thought I should have died with them, but I was not able to bring myself to end my own life. So I believed that living without them was my punishment for not being with them when they needed me most. I still believe it, but I am also sure my Selene knows I am only a man, and understands I am not perfect. For a long time I tried to stay faithful to her memory, but- Hey, Gaia, are you all right?" He asked, sensing how tense she had suddenly become. "Did I say something wrong?"

"Your wife’s name was Selene?"

"Yes," he nodded, realizing only then he had just said it aloud, "yes, she was called so."

"When did she die?" Gaia asked with an urgent tone, rising to a sitting position.

Maximus was taken aback by her sudden move, but did not hesitate to respond, "It happened more than two years ago. It will be three years next November. Why are you asking?"

She did not answer, but he heard her breath become ragged and it worried him. "Gaia? Gaia, are you feeling well?" He too sat on the bed and his hands rose to take her by the shoulders: she was shaking like a leaf in the wind and he became very concerned.

What was going on? Was it possible Gaia knew Selene? Was it the reason of her shock? He was on the verge of speaking but her voice stopped him, as after a deep breath, she whispered, "I think it would be better if you light the candle on the nightstand, Maximus."

His mouth opened and his eyes widened in the dark. "Maximus? How do you know it is my name?"

"Because I am Selene."

"What?" he choked out, before fumbling with the flint and the candle. Soon a tremulous light invaded the little room, creating plays of shadows on the startled faces of two persons that stared stunned at each other.

Maximus tried to identify his emotions as he drank in the vision in front of him. Shock. Incredulity. Stupor. But above all joy. Incommensurable, overwhelming joy. Emotions so strong they gripped his chest so hard it was difficult even to breathe, just as it had been more than two years before, when, heartbroken, he had kissed what he believed to be his wife’s burned feet. Selene, his Selene, was alive in front of him, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, in spite of the years and the scars that now marred the right side of her face.

She was staring back at him, her eyes filled with tears, and her trembling hand rose to caress his cheek, as she had never done during their encounters. Her fingers brushed his beard and mouth, and he kissed them with gentleness, breathing in her scent, that smell of jasmine that had seemed always so familiar- even if only now he understood why it had been so and why he had been attracted to her from the first time he had caught a glimpse of her.

Selene continued to brush him, her fingertips lighter than feathers, her eyes now filled with wonder, as she whispered, "You are really alive, it is not a dream."

"I am alive, as you are my love, my beautiful love." Maximus’ hand rose to caress her in return. "You don’t know how happy I am to see you in front of me- but how did it happen? I believed you were dead... I buried you," he murmured, his voice breaking on the last words, as he thought back to that terrible day of two years before.

"Not me, the steward’s wife... I escaped the carnage..." she spoke in a barely audible whisper and Maximus saw her lower her face in pain and shame.

"What is it?"

"I am afraid you will hate me because I survived but it was not so for Gaius..."

Maximus paled, becoming aware that in all of his joy he had not thought about his son nor about the reason Selene was still alive while their little boy was not. And he realized in a flash that she was scared, really scared of his reaction. Perhaps she thought he would accuse her of not protecting their child? That was impossible because he would never do it, and because he knew that whatever had happened on the farm, he was ultimately responsible of it.

Thus Maximus cupped her face between his hands, raising it till her eyes locked with his, "Listen to me, Selene: whatever happened that tragic day, I will never, ever accuse you of anything. You loved Gaius with all your being and if you were not able to save him, I am sure it was because you could not do it. Do you understand?" He spoke with absolute conviction and Selene nodded. Maximus smiled briefly, and pulled her against his chest, embracing her tightly, to make her feel safe and loved.

Pressed against Maximus’ chest, his heart echoing under her ear, Selene found the strength she needed to re-live her tragedy and to tell him about it. She took a deep breath and began, "We were in the training enclosure. Gaius was exercising his pony, and I was with him, controlling and encouraging him. He- he was so determinate to be a good horseman by your return... he wanted you to be proud of him." She stopped to control the trembling of her voice and both she and Maximus swallowed hard. "Suddenly a group of soldiers appeared galloping along the road. Gaius saw them first and thought it was you. He dropped the whip and the lunge and stormed to the road to meet you. I- I ran behind him, but I was not quick enough to catch up with him. When we arrived on the lane, Gaius stopped, probably searching for you among the riders. I was just a few feet behind him and I noticed those men were Praetorians, not your usual escort of legionaries and I sensed something was wrong. They were still galloping and giving no sign of slowing down and I called for Gaius -I told him to step away from the lane, but he did not hear me ...and then... and then..."

Selene’s voice died and she buried her head in his chest, tears falling down her cheeks as her eyes saw those horrible moments again. Maximus was not feeling much better, but he tried to be strong for her, his big, warm hand caressing her bare back in comforting circles. Selene drew strength from his embrace and, knowing she had to continue, she took a shuddering breath and pressed ahead, "Gaius was trampled by the horses on the lane."

Maximus’ arms tightened. "What?" he choked out.

"They did not stop their run and trampled him. I saw everything. I-I was paralysed for some instants, then I ran to him, moving along the sides of the lane and avoiding the Praetorians’ horses. I knelt down near Gaius. He was not moving and when I touched him I saw blood was pouring from his head: they had broken his skull and he was already dead... There was a smile on his face, so… I hope he never understood what happened to him."

"Thank you gods for this small mercy," Maximus whispered. By now they were both crying, but Selene knew she had to complete her story. "While I was kneeling, one of the Praetorians jumped on me from behind and threw me to the ground. He told me you were dead, executed as a traitor, and that soon I would die too. In that moment I thought I did not care, my life was over without you and Gaius, but- but when I felt his hands on my thighs and understood he wanted to rape me, I could not bear it and I began to fight. He hit me and grabbed my neck, almost strangling me and hurting my trachea. I continued to fight and was able to take his dagger from its sheath but he blocked my arm and slashed me on the cheek and neck. The pain was so terrible I almost fainted. But it was not yet over: when he lowered his breeches I slipped my hands between us and grabbed his privates, squeezing them with all of my strength... He rolled away from me moaning and I used that momentum to escape."

Selene paused a little to gain back her breath, aware of Maximus’ comforting arms around her. "I ran blindly, spurred by the screams coming from behind me, till I reached the old, abandoned bridge on the stream, and I hid there, behind some fallen pieces of a wall. The Praetorians came very near, but then they went away. I heard them say they were already late and that they had no time to lose. They were not sure I was your wife, and even if I had been, I was only a woman... not important, now that my husband was dead. They returned to the farm and I watched from afar as they crucified and burned Gaius’ and the steward’s wife’s corpses, before they set the entire place on fire. I wanted to go back and stop them, but I could not... I could not. I remained hidden till the Praetorians went away, then wandered in the country like a sleepwalker till I reached the road to Emerita Augusta, where Numerius found me." Selene let out a heartbreaking long sigh and then raised her tears-streaked face to look at him, "Oh please, Maximus, forgive me! I should have stayed there. I should have died with our boy, since I had not been able to protect him. There has not been a single day in these years that I have not thought about Gaius and prayed for his forgiveness."

She would have continued her self-deprecating speech, but Maximus interrupted her, his voice hard. "You have nothing to feel guilty of- I am the only one responsible for Gaius’ death. It was my duty to protect you and keep you safe, but I failed- twice. First I put you in mortal danger and then I was not able to reach you in time to save you. Don’t punish yourself, Selene, I am the one you should blame."

He lowered his head, as if ashamed to meet her gaze, and his obvious pain touched the woman in the depth of her heart. She had never been able to bear the view of one of her family members hurting, and it was still so.

"I don’t believe you, Maximus." She said with conviction, "I cannot believe you. I had always known how much you loved us. You would have never put us consciously in danger, so something had to have happened, something you were not able to control..." She stopped to check his reaction and saw Maximus nod, slowly and somehow unwillingly.

"Yes," he murmured, his voice shaky.

"Can you tell me?"

Maximus nodded again: she had the right to know and he needed to tell her, with the same honesty they had always shared- and then to beg for her forgiveness.

"It began in Germania, the day after our decisive battle against the barbarians. I was already packing my things to return home, when Marcus Aurelius summoned me in his tent and, after a brief conversation, he said he wanted me to become his successor-"

"Caesar wanted you to become emperor?" Selene could not hide her amazement, nor her pride.

"Yes, but only for the time necessary to bring Rome back to a republican government. I did not wish to accept, but he was dying and he did not want to leave the empire in his immoral son’s hands. His eyes pleaded with me and I could not refuse his request."

Selene nodded: Maximus had always talked with such affection of his emperor, who had been like a father for him. She could fully understand why he could not say ‘no’ to Marcus Aurelius. But, obviously something had not gone as planned..."

"What happened?"

"During the night I was once again summoned by the emperor, but when I reached his tent, I found Commodus to meet me. He said his father had died in his sleep, but when I examined the corpse I saw he had been strangled. I was sure it had been Commodus; he had somehow discovered Marcus’ plans and killed him before they could have made them public. He asked for my loyalty- but I could not bring myself to take his hand. Everything in me rebelled against the idea. And it was a terrible mistake, the proof I had never been a good diplomat- I should have taken his hand and worked from inside to overthrow him. I should have-"

"Stop, Maximus!" Selene interrupted his self-deprecation, just as he had done with her. "It was not a mere matter of diplomacy, or you would have pulled it out. How many truces did you arrange with German chiefs? How many peaces did you negotiate over the years? And they always worked. The Germans respected you a great deal, Cicero told me so the last time he visited the farm, and win the enemy’s respect is a very difficult task. You did not take Commodus’ hand because you could not take it as a man, not as a soldier..."

Maximus nodded in silence. She had always understood him better than he himself, and it had been one of the things that had bound him to her so strongly, one of the reasons that had transformed their arranged engagement into a union based on love in the space of only few hours after their first meeting.

Swallowing hard, he whispered "Thank you" and Selene smiled weakly to him, before encouraging him with her eyes to continue with his report. He took a deep breath and spoke again, "I returned to my tent, ready to prepare my counter move, but I never had the time to act, because my second in command, Quintus Aemilius Laetus, had me arrested: Commodus had ordered my execution- and yours. I was taken into the woods, away from my men, but I was able to escape, although I was wounded on my arm. I galloped home, hoping to save you and Gaius- but I was late. I found the farm destroyed... and two crucified bodies. Gaius - Gaius was recognizable and I did not doubt for a moment the other was yours; it was so badly burnt ...and I..."

Tears slid down Maximus’ cheeks and he cried unashamedly, pouring out all of his pain, as the images and the emotions of that terrible day returned to submerge him. "I took the bodies down," he went on after a while, "and buried them under the poplar near the kitchen garden. Then I collapsed by the tombs, wanting nothing more but to die and join you in Elysium. My wound had become infected, I was feverish and exhausted, thus I hoped it would be easy to die, but..."

"But someone saved you?" Selene intervened, mentally thanking whomever it had been.

Maximus smiled bitterly, "You may say so... I was found by slave traders, captured and sold in Africa to fight in the arena as a gladiator."

"What!?" Selene’s voice was horrified and incredulous.

"It was what happened." Maximus continued telling her about his life in Zucchabar and the woman’s heart twisted in pain at the description of all that violence and suffering he had to bear. She found no words to express her feelings for him, but hugged his body in the strongest embrace she could muster. He buried his nose in the hollow of her neck and, for several moments, silence reigned in the room, as two hearts beat in unison. Finally Selene moved back from him, caressed his lips with a finger and murmured, "It was terrible."

"But I accepted it," he whispered back, kissing her finger tip, "I thought it was my deserved punishment for not saving you and Gaius and for putting you in danger in the first place. It would have been easy to kill myself or let someone slaughter me in the arena, but I forced myself to live."

"As I did. You don’t know how many times I thought to slit my wrists with a kitchen knife and to finally find peace with you and Gaius - but I believed I deserved to suffer and so I kept on living."

"We are so alike," he murmured in wonder, his index finger caressing her unmarred cheek.

"Yes, we have always been."

They were silent once again, basking in each other’s presence, then she asked, "What happened next?"

Maximus sighed and told her the last part of his ordeal, from his arrival in Rome to fight in the Colosseum, to his involvement in the political scheme to eliminate Commodus; from his failed escape to the final fight. Selene listened with attention, concentrating on his words but even more on his tone, whimpering when she heard how Commodus had cruelly -- and falsely -- tormented Maximus with the description of how she and Gaius had suffered in the Praetorians’ hands, and she let out a loud gasp when he told her about the stabbing in his back. She also felt a bit of jealousy for Lucilla and for how she had been able to touch Maximus’ heart, but then pushed away that feeling, ashamed with herself: she had only to be grateful to the Augusta, for how she had cared for Maximus, saving his life. It was because of Marcus Aurelius’ daughter and her surgeons if he was now sitting in front of her, so, Selene mentally thanked her, before returning to listen to his words.

"I stayed in Rome for a few months, but I realized this was not the place for me. So I went back to Trujillo and rebuilt the villa. I hired workers and returned to be a farmer. I did it quietly, without much fanfare because I did not want to be bothered by local politicians or curious people. I- I was decided to remain alone for the rest of my life, but after it healed, my body began to have needs-" he lowered his eyes, slightly embarrassed by the private nature of the topic, "I took care of myself for a while, but I was lonely, and I could not bring myself to taking a woman to our house. Then one day I heard about this place and about the fact the girls here were all free -- I can no longer tolerate the whole concept of slavery, I think you understand why -- and came for a visit... and you know the rest."

"Yes, I know." Selene smiled at his embarrassment, "I like to think the gods dragged you here and attracted you to me."

Maximus smiled back, "Can you ever forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive: we both acted as the simple human beings we are, and paid the price of our mistakes. We don’t have to ask for each other’s forgiveness, but only for Gaius’- and he was such a loving child I believe from Elysium he is happy to see us together once again."

"Indeed- perhaps it was him to bring both of us here, his way to show us he had forgiven us."

"Yes," she whispered, awed by the thought.

A comfortable silence fell upon the pair, as they savoured the freedom and lightness of spirit their confessions had brought to them, as if a big weight had been taken away from their shoulders and they were now able to look at the future with new eyes.

"Will you come home with me?" Maximus finally asked, needing her to say it aloud.

"Of course: I am your wife and that is the only place where I want and need to be. At your side." Selene’s face got closer to his and captured his lips in a long, passionate kiss. When she moved back, they were both out of breath and grinning happily.

Maximus looked at the window and at the light filtering inside from the crack in the wooden shutters. "It is almost dawn. Do you want to sleep for a while? I am too charged up to rest, but if you want to-"

"No, I am not tired, and I wish to sleep in our bed tonight."

"You will do so. If we leave now and change horses along the way, we will be home by sunset."

"Perfect!" Selene smiled, then swung her legs over the edge of the bed and began to collect her clothes, soon imitated by her husband.

*

They dressed in silence, never leaving each other’s gaze as if they were afraid it might be only a dream, and they burst in a hearty laugh when they became aware of their behaviour, shaking their heads at their own silliness.

Selene put on her undergarments and tunic, then her hand reached for the palla and she wrapped it over her shoulders and hair, but she did not cover her face because, now that her husband was once again near her, she no longer had any need to hide. Thus she wrapped the hem of the cloth on her back and fixed it with a pin. Turning her head, she met Maximus’ approving eyes.

"You don’t need it any more," he murmured with conviction, "for me you are more beautiful now than the day we first met."

She grinned and commented, "You are an adorable liar, but thank you anyway." Selene walked to him and took his outstretched hand.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Yes, I am."

They left the room and stepped in the narrow corridor, Maximus’ arm around Selene’s waist, their hips brushing at each step they took. As they passed in front of her room, she remembered something very important.

"Wait here!" she exclaimed, wriggling free and entering her bedchamber, happy Claudia was not there, but probably sleeping with one of her clients. She liked the girl, but she was not in the mood for long explanations. At a later time, when she would have gotten everything clearer in her mind, Selene would return to talk with her friend, but not now. Now she only needed one thing. She dropped to her knees near the chest that contained her few dresses, opened it, and rummaged among the clothes.

"What are you doing?" Maximus asked from behind her back.

"I am searching for something."

"What?"

"This," she said, rising to her feet and showing her engagement ring to him. "I could not wear it while being with another man- it would not have been right."

Maximus nodded slowly, "I know. It is the same for me. My ring is waiting for me on the nightstand in our bedroom." He walked closer to her and gently took the ring from her open palm; then he took her left hand in his own, turned it around and reverently slipped the ring back to its rightful place, at her third finger, his eyes looking at her with the same love and determination of twelve years before, when they had been engaged and then married in her father’s house. And just as he had done in the past, he took her hand in his, and led her away, to begin a new life together.

*

Numerius’ eyes widened in surprise when he saw Gaia step down in the hall, her face free from the veil, her arm linked with the stranger’s, he too without his usual cape. They were both smiling and there was a sense of serenity on her scarred yet beautiful face. The innkeeper cleaned his hands on the apron, and went to meet the pair, already knowing he was going to lose his cook, a blow for his tavern, but a big joy for his heart.

"Gaia," he greeted her with a smile.

The dark haired, brown eyed woman shook her head, "No, not Gaia, but Selene. That’s my name. Selene Meridia."

Numerius nodded, distractingly wondering where he had already heard her family name. She seemed to read his mind, because she said, "Perhaps you have heard about my husband, Maximus Decimus Meridius."

"The ‘Saviour of Rome’?" The tavern owner’s eyes widened as they posed on the blue-eyed man in front of him, finally understanding why he had always worn a cape and a hood during his visits: he was afraid someone might recognize him. "You are him?" he asked for confirmation, awed to be in the presence of such a famous man, and inwardly wondered how it was possible nobody of the upper class in Emerita Augusta -- who had discussed Commodus’ death by the hand of a former general of the army for a lot of time -- knew of his return to Hispania from Rome.

"I prefer to be simply called ‘Maximus the farmer’, but yes, I am him." The younger man replied softly.

"And you two are married?" Numerius’ eyes danced from one face to the other.

"Yes, we are. We both thought the other to be dead, but the gods -- and a certain stubborn man now wearing an apron -- helped us to find each other again." Selene commented, then left her husband’s side and took both of Numerius’ hands in hers.

"Thank you for everything, my friend. I would not have survived without your help and support." She said looking deeply into his eyes. "You showed me life can go on, must go on, and gave me the strength to do it." Her voice broke in the end and they embraced will all their force. Numerius felt tears prick at his eyes, feeling like a father seeing his daughter go away to begin a new life with the man she loves: he felt joy for her, but also sadness.

"I am so happy for you, darling, but I will miss you very much. Promise me you will return to visit us every now and then."

"Of course, we will come again soon." Maximus interjected, stepping in front of him and offering his hand. "I cannot even begin to express to you my gratitude for everything you did for my wife. Please feel free to come to me, in case you should ever need anything. As for myself, I will find you a new cook to help you here in the kitchen, that’s a promise."

Numerius opened his mouth to protest, but a glare from the former general informed him it would be only wasted breath.

"Thank you," he capitulated, releasing Maximus’ hand. He turned once again to Selene and, after another heartfelt embrace, watched her leave his tavern, with her arm linked with her husband’s and a new lightness in her step.

*

Maximus and Selene stepped into the street and he steered her to the right side of it, directing to the public stable where he had left his cart. The new day had just begun, and there was still little light. However the city had already awoken: the vendors were opening their shops and putting the merchandise on the stands, while groups of field workers were leaving their homes directed to the country.

Maximus pressed his wife’s body closer against his hip, wanting to feel her warmth and smell her scent, still somehow incredulous she was really alive and near him. They were not speaking to each other, because there was no need: for the moment they only wanted to savour the silent communion of their hearts.

They had almost reached the stable, when a strange, feeble sound, resembling a moan, intruded into their thoughts. Husband and wife stopped and looked at each other.

"Did you hear this?" asked Selene and Maximus nodded. "What was it?"

"I don’t know; it seemed a moan or a whimper."

They watched around, to the houses and warehouses lined up along the road, searching for some clues about the nature and the provenience of the sound, when it echoed again. And this time there was no doubt about what it was: a cry, child’s wail. Maximus moved quickly to a low stone wall fitted in between two buildings and climbed over it, finding himself in a little piece of untended land, full of pieces of broken pottery, furniture and other kind of trash.

"Do you see anything?" said Selene, peering from the other side of the wall.

"No, I- Wait! I see something in that corner." He ran to a portion of terrain that was in the shadow created by the wall, and knelt in the dried grass, his eyes posed on an old basket covered with a filthy rag. He pushed aside the fabric and he found two bright brown eyes staring back at him from a tiny face still dirty with blood. The child had stopped crying, reaching out its little fist and, without conscious thought, Maximus caressed it with his index finger.

"Maximus? Are you all right?" Selene called, the anxiety in her voice betraying her fear of losing him another time: a lot of time would need to pass before certain scars faded.

"Don’t worry, I am fine. But I’ve just found someone who is in great need of help." With infinite care, he took the basket in his arms and rose to his feet, walking back to his wife.

Selene eyes widened, then moistened when she saw what her husband was carrying and looked at the newborn’s face.

"Poor little one," she murmured, her fingers caressing the tiny cheeks. "Do you think they abandoned it?"

"Her," corrected Maximus, who had raised the blanket to check if the umbilical cord had been cut and tied. "Yes, I am afraid she has been exposed."

"Why? Does she have any physical faults?"

"I cannot see any. She seems perfect to me, just hungry." Maximus smiled at the little face.

"How can a parent expose a child and condemn it to death or slavery? How is it possible to do such a thing?" wondered Selene, as she removed her palla and wrapped it around the infant instead of the ragged fabric. For a woman like her, whose only son had died, and who had lost her fertility very early in her life, it was not a merely inconceivable cruelty, but also a terrible waste of such a precious gift.

"I cannot give an answer to you because I have none, but I can tell you I am not going to leave her here." Maximus raised his eyes and locked them with Selene’s, his blue-green eyes pools telling her what was in his heart. "We still have so much love to give and we cannot have more children of our own- and she needs parents."

Selene bit her lower lip to stop it from trembling, almost not believing the gods could have turned out to be so merciful with them. She then eagerly nodded to her husband and picked the basket up in her arms, as Maximus climbed back over the wall. When he was on the other side, he put his arm around his wife and their new daughter, silently enjoying Selene’s radiant smile.

Epilogue – April 184 AD

Sitting on the edge of their villa porch, surrounded by the landscape of their striving fields and vineyards, Selene Meridia watched as her husband helped their daughter Julia to take her first steps in a sandy spot of the courtyard. They had given that name to the child because she had been born and found in that month, but perhaps they should have called her ‘Sunshine’, because she had become the sun in their lives, bringing even more strength and love into their union. The child had a shaky beginning because of her exposure and the fact she had to be fed with animal milk until they had found a wet nurse, but she had quickly left behind her initial difficulties, and she was now strong and plump.

Selene smiled as Maximus waved in her direction, his eyes flashing a grin to her. It was so good to see him laugh, to have him always near her, knowing it was going to be for the rest of their lives because, at least for him, there were no more wars to fight. Selene was still amazed and awed by how her husband had been able to survive his ordeal, not only physically whole, but mentally sound. To find himself a slave had been terrible for him, even if he had told her nothing had compared with the pain of losing her and Gaius.

Gaius. Her eyes moved to rest on the little spot of earth where her son rested, his tomb surrounded by multicoloured flowers she and Maximus tended to every day. His loss would always leave a void in their hearts, and they would always regret the life he could not have, but now, at least, the wound of his death was beginning to heal, leaving behind a scar that, just like those on her face and Maximus’ arm and back, was slowly fading, mended by time and love.