The Spaniard

by

Ilaria and Stephanie

12

Five days later Maximus found himself again in the arena. This time his opponent was skilled in the use of the sword and their fight lasted almost two minutes before the former general ended it with a such powerful blow he almost cut the other gladiator in two.

From the stands Pomponius shook his head, annoyed because once more the Spaniard had made the fight and the killing look too easy and too brief, but the crowd seemed to don't think the same thing, because they began to cheer the Spaniard loudly. Perhaps, thought the editor, the audience now wanted a fighter who looked like an implacable killer...If that was true, he had found the right man.

Pomponius was still looking down, watching as the Spaniard left the sandy ring, when another man came near him and leaned on the balustrate.

"He is new, isn’t he?" the new comer said.

"Yes, this was only his second match."

"Uhm...good technique, but he must learn to stretch it out."

"It is the same thing I said to him but I have a feeling that he will never listen to me."

"Who does he belong to?"

"To no one, Proximo. He is a free man." Pomponius turned to look at the gladiators' trainer and smiled.

Proximo, a large man with grey beard and hair and piercing clear eyes, shook his head, "A free man...this is highly unusual. A former soldier, I guess."

"Yes. I saw his SPQR tatoo. Maybe he was discarged because a ugly wound he has on his left arm. That's why he is wearing that strange armor on his shoulder and --" Pomponius never completed the sentence because a local noble reclaimed his attention. Proximo watched him go away with a frown on his face. What the editor had said about the Spaniard made a bell ring in his head. While watching the man fight he had found him to be strangely familiar but now that bit about the wounded shoulder made an unpleasant suspicion come to life. Quickly leaving his position, Proximo walked to the holding cells of the arena, wanting to speak with the Spaniard.

*****

Maximus had just finished washing his body clean of the blood, dust and sweat of the arena, and was going to put on a clean tunic when he sensed a presence near him. He turned around, fully expecting to meet Pomponius and ready for another tirade about his 'technique' but instead he locked eyes with a big man who looked strangely familiar.

"I saw you fight, Spaniard," began the stranger,"and I think you are quite good. A novice, but good."

Maximus did not acknowledge the praise, wanting only to finish to dressing, collect his money from Pomponius and go away from that place of death as quickly as he could.

Undeterred by his silence, the other man went on "My name is Proximo and I will be happy to teach you to be a good gladiator, if you would join my school."

Maximus snorted, "Why should I do that?"

"I could guarantee you a better arrangement with Pomponius. I am his favorite supplier of fighters and he treats me very well."

"And what is your angle?" Maximus' voice was full of sarcasm as he folded his soiled tunica and gave the leather armor he had used to one of the arena slaves.

"Prestige for my school, of course....My stable is the best of Africa and I want it to remain so."

Maximus shook his head and turned to look at the other man, "Thank you for your offer, but I am not interested. I don't plan to fight for much longer. And now, forgive me but I want to collect my money and go home."

Without a second glance Maximus walked away followed my Proximo's keen gaze. Now more than ever the lanista was sure that the Spaniard was the slave he had wanted to buy at the market few months before....the one the beduin trader had claimed to be too seriously wounded to be of any use for his 'good friend' Proximo, and had substituited with another, a stupid Thracian who had been killed in his first match. Proximo smiled ferally and exited the arena: he knew where the slave trader lived and he was determined to make him pay dearly the fact he had deprived him from a potential champion and money-maker.

*****

Tullia was waiting for Maximus on the front porch of the house and when she saw him open the iron gates of the farm, she took the hem of her tunica in her hands and ran to him. Maximus saw her come in his direction and barely had time to brace himself before Tullia jumped on him, lacing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He did same with her, inhaling her wonderful scent for some moments, then gently disentangled from her embrace to look in her smiling face, "What's going on?"

"Father is better, Maximus, he is out of danger! The doctor says he is going to survive!" she almost cried as tears of joy pricked her eyes.

"But this is wonderful!!" Maximus let the happinness appear on his face, before picking up Tullia up again and whirling her around.

"Put me down!" she laughed. He did as she asked but did not let her go. Instead he cupped her face with his hands and kissed her with tenderness and passion. Tullia responded to him with the same ardor and when they separated their breathing was erratic. They stared at each other for a long time,

communicating with their eyes the words they were no yet able to express until Sulpicius' wife appeared on the door of the villa.

"Dinner is almost ready!" she called loudly.

Maximus and Tullia exchanged a glance full of regret and then turned around, walking hand in hand to the house.

*****

In the month that followed, Marius' health gradually improved and he was finally able to leave his bed and his room to spend some time in the open air. All the small household rejoiced to see their master back on his feet. For Maximus it was particularly pleasing to watch the old man walk among the fields, his frail hands caressing the cotton plants as Maximus himself had often done with the wheat spikes in his own estate. The smiles on Marius' and Tullia's faces were what the general needed to keep on with his job as gladiator. He hated to combat in the arena more than ever but the farm financial situation was still too serious to allow him to quit, the income of his fights being the only thing to stave off the creditors' demands.

Maximus hoped that the sale of the summer crops would bring enough money to permit him to return to be only a farmer, because he knew that the strain of keeping his true activities in the city hidden by the others was beginning to show. He was often nervous, living in the fear that one day Sulpicius or Joab -- who had returned to farm along with some of the other workers -- would see him as he slipped in or out of the arena. He was afraid of what Tullia and Marius might think of a man who killed for the amusement of the crowd. And their opinion was terribly important for him because he had finally found the courage to admit, if only to himself, that he was in love with girl. He had tought his heart was dead when he had discovered Selene's and Marcus' broken bodies, but evidently it was not true. He longed to tell Tullia how he felt, hoping she felt the same for him, by his code of honor stopped him. He would stay silent until the time he would be able to support 'his family' only with his work in the fields. In the meantime he contented himself with staying near Tullia, spending hours talking with her, occasional kisses and caresses being the only expression of their feeling for each other.

13

Catching a glimpse of metal with the side of his eye, Maximus whirled around just in time to deflect with his sword a blow aimed to his neck. However the force behind the attack threw him to the ground and the point of his opponent's gladius bit the flesh just over his left elbow.

Scrambling on his feet, Maximus confronted the men in front of him, the last two alive of the series of seven which the general had killed one by one in the past three minutes. Maximus was furious but he didn't let the anger cloud his judgment: while he defended himself from the double attack, he also studied the way his opponents moved, quickly identifying their weak points and then counter-acting their moves. One of the men died with a sliced abdomen, while the other first lost an arm and then his head.

The crowd shouted enthusiastically as the two bodies joined the other five dead gladiators crumbling in the sand, and then began to chant the winner's name with increasing vehemence but Maximus didn't even listened to it. His lips pressed in a hard line, he marched out of the ring, passed the holding area, barely feeling the pats on his back the arena slaves gave him and continued to the stands where Pomponius was sipping wine with some of the local nobles. At the sight of the enraged gladiator the people moved quickly out of the way. The editor lost all of his jovial expression as Maximus grabbed him by his tunic and drug him to his feet.

"You cheated!" the former general hissed, his face only few inches from Pomponius', "You told me I would face only one man at a time, but the last one entered the fight before I was finished with the sixth one!"

"Well, there was a slight change of plans....My friend and I had a little bet going on and so...."

"A bet?" commented Maximus disgusted.

"Yes, and I won, of course. I was sure you were going to win," the gladiator's grip on his tunica tightened and Pomponius added in haste, "Part of the of the money I won is for you...."

"Keep it! I only want my fee. But I advise you, try to cheat me again and I assure you that it will be the last thing you do in this life. Is that clear?" Maximus roughly shook the arena manager and Pomponius nodded repeately with his head, as the furious man staring at him remembered him why the editores usually prefered their gladiators to be slaves....they were much easier to control.

Maximus let the other man go and reached out his hand. The still frightened Pomponius did not hesitate to put a big leather pouch in his open palm. The Spaniard weightened it before nodding curtly. "Thank you." He said, "You will see me again the day of the Ides." And with a last ironic bow to the assembled crowd, which had followed the scene with rapt fascination, enjoying the little sideshow, he turned on his heels and left the stands.

*****

Alone in his small hut, Maximus immersed a linen rag in warm water and carefully cleaned the gash near his elbow, wishing he had some of the healing salve Sulpicius had used on his upper arm months before. He was also wondering how he was going to explain the wound to Tullia and the others.

Maximus was so adsorbed by his thoughts and by his task he did not hear the approaching steps nor the door being pushed open until it was too late and Tullia entered the small building saying, "Maximus, would you like to dine here with me this evening? I brought some food with me." The girl's joyous voice died as she took note of what he was doing. "What is that?"

Maximus hurriedly rolled down the sleeve of his tunica, and turned away from the door. "It’s…it’s nothing." He said quickly, allowing the rag to drop back into the basin. "I was just washing up."

"It is something!" Tullia said, allowing the bundle of food that she was carrying to drop to the floor and sweeping into the room. She gasped as she reached the foot of the bed and saw blood oozing through the rough wool of his shirt.

"You’re hurt."

"I’m fine." Maximus said again, waving his arm as if to ward her off, but the movement betrayed him, the sharp pain that it evoked making him wince.

Ignoring his protests, Tullia settled onto the bed beside him, and reached for his sleeve again, drawing it up to inspect the cut.

"It’s deep." She said worriedly, reaching for the rag again. "What happened?"

Maximus swallowed as he searched for a lie, settling finally on something near the truth. "I was…in a fight in town." He said quietly.

Tullia nodded distantly, and the Spaniard found himself relieved to note that she was more focused on her task than the words from his lips. She dabbed the damp cloth gently against his arm, brushing away the sticky blood. "It’s hot…" She murmured. "I hope that it isn’t infected…"

Maximus nodded mutely. Unwilling to risk further conversation, he merely admired the dexterity of her delicate hands.

Tullia tried to push the sleeve of the tunic up further, but it was difficult to see the top edge of the wound beneath the layer of cloth.

"You’ll have to take it off." She said, trying to sound matter-of-fact. In spite of her efforts, a tinge of pink crept across her features. Maximus did as he was told, carefully watching the girl’s reaction as he bared his muscular chest and shoulders.

Tullia was clearly affected. Her hands returned to their task, but her eyes were distracted. They scanned the smooth ridged of his body, resting for a moment on the crisscrossed scars that were a token to his long years in battle.

"Ow!" Maximus winced and jumped slightly as Tullia placed pressure on the tender part of his wound. Instantly, her attention flew to her hand.

"I’m sorry!" She said quickly. "I was…daydreaming, I…" She made a movement to dab at the wound again, but her motions were so nervous that she overturned the bowl, splashing water down the front of her dress and onto the floor. "I-"

"Tullia."

Maximus siezed her wrist before she had a chance to move away. "It’s all right…." His voice trailed off as he drew the hand to his lips to kiss it tenderly. Her fingernails were clean, but the scent of the earth still clung to them from the garden. The smell was like perfume, encouraging him to draw her closer.

In a single, easy motion, Maximus slid the hand around his waist, and then, placing his own palm on Tullia’s back, drew her tightly against his chest.

"Tullia…" he said hungrily as he bent forward to give her a kiss. Adrenaline from anger and the fight was still churning through his veins and he needed to feel her in his arms to become calm again.

The girl was still embarassed about her companion's state of undress. He could feel her trembling through the thin fabric of her shift, and he didn’t know whether it was due to the cool desert air blowing in through the open windows, or fear of what would happen if they were caught...or if they weren’t caught …but she didn’t draw away. She lingered in his embrace, answering every kiss and then, when he finally moved to pull away, initiating her own.

The Spaniard was startled as he felt the tentative brush of her tongue against his mouth. He parted his lips obligingly, relaxing as Tullia took the initiative, slowly exploring the contours of his teeth before coaxing him to match her ministrations. He sighed as they moved together, drawing her into his lap and then, when her hand released his waist and began to travel slowly along his hip, pulling her onto the bed.

"Careful…." He murmured as her fingertips continued their journey, moving downward as far as the woman could reach, and then brushing the sensitive skin of his inner thigh.

"I don’t want to be careful anymore…" Tullia said in a whisper, moving her hand higher and then, abandoning the ministrations for a moment, capturing his own hand and drawing it to her breast.

Maximus blinked, and remained still, unsure of what she wanted him to do, and unwilling to allow himself to get carried away.

"Do you ever pretend…" she began in a distant voice. "Do you ever pretend that things aren’t really the way that they are…that the farm was prosperous again…that you were its master, and I was your…"

"Wife." He finished, and the girl blinked, a little jarred that he had actually said the word aloud.

They each took two breaths, studying the other, and then Maximus began to speak. "I do think about it, Tullia…but it doesn’t have to be just a dream…"

"Not a dream! How can you say that? My father is alive, but we are deeper in debt than ever."

"That isn’t true…now that I’m working-"

"Yes, as a scribe." Tullia said, her voice almost angry. "Do you think that I don’t know where you are really getting the money?"

Maximus felt as though the world had suddenly stopped. How had Tullia learned? He knew that it was merely an eventuality, but he wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon.

"How did you find out?" He said slowly.

"From the bracelet."

Maximus tilted his head in puzzlement.

"I knew that you had stolen it because the jewler paid me almost two gold denarii…" she explained, and the general felt his muscles relax. She hadn’t guessed it at all. "And your wound today only confirms it. Oh, Maximus! It isn’t worth the risk!!! If you were caught…" She swallowed, leaving the words unsaid.

"I won’t get caught." He comforted softly.

"And it is killing you." Tullia said in softer tones. "I see it in your eyes each time that you return from the village for one of your "assignments."…you hate yourself for what you are doing…I know that you are doing it for us, but there has to be another way."

"There is no other way." Maximus said solemnly.

Tullia nodded her head and said nothing. He wanted desperately to share the truth, hoping, for the first time, that she might be able to forgive him, but, instead, he said instead. "I love you, Tullia."

There was a moment of silence, and then: "I know."

Maximus tightened his arms around her shoulders. "I want to marry you. You have to believe me…but I’m a…was a…"

"That doesn’t matter to me…"

"But it should matter...and it matters to your father and Sulpicius, it rightly matters to them. Oh, Tullia, you don’t belong here. You deserve a house and servants and…"

"Then I don’t want what I deserve….I could live in the streets if you were there with me…" Tullia felt tears prick at the corner of her eyes. "I’m so tired of hiding what I feel."

Maximus felt moisture brimming at the edges of his own eyes, and he looked skyward to ward away tears. "I know…" he whispered, kissing her hair. "I know…."

"Make love to me."

Again, the Spaniard inhaled sharply in shock. "You don’t know what you are saying." He protested.

"I do know….I don’t want to save myself for a man that I don’t love…I need you, Maximus. You are the only one who makes me feel happy…who makes me feel safe…." She rolled her hips forward against his body, almost instantly drawing a reaction. "Please…."

With a groan, Maximus pulled her hips against his own. The heat of her body pressed tantalizingly against his growing erection and, though he told himself to pull away, he did not. Tullia moved her body in a circular motion, putting pressure where he needed it the most…

"Teach me…" she whispered against his ear, and then, just as she had in his dream. "Help me…"

At last, the dam containing his emotions broke, and Maximus feared that he would be washed away by the intensity of the wave of longing that siezed his flesh. He wanted to touch her everywhere at once, to claim her….but he was conscious of her inexperience, and forced himself to move slowly. Inverting their positions, so that Tullia’s back was against the mattress, he tenderly moved forward and removed her dress. The garment was simple- really just a long tunica, and it slid easily over her shoulders, exposing the simple binding that she wore around her breasts, and the gauzy cloth that covered her sex.

"So beautiful…" He murmured, leaning forward to kiss the skin. He began at her neck and moved downward, intent to caress every inch of her before he reached his ultimate destination, but Tullia was impatient. She arched toward him in need, reacting to the inborn instinct of her own body.

Maximus knew what she wanted, but he was not yet ready to commit the ultimate act of pleasure and so, to satisfy her cravings for the moment, he slid his hand beneath her coverings, freeing her body. Sliding his fingers over the soft hair that guarded her opening, and capturing the little bundle of nerves that stood at its head between his forefinger and thumb.

Tullia’s body jolted as If she had been shocked, and a low cry seemed to come from the very back of her throat. She pressed her lower body upward again, moving into his caress, and the general rewarded the greedy gesture, finding a rhythmn that seemed to suit them both.

Between his legs, his hardness was throbbing with want, and he allowed his free hand to wander there, loosening his loincloth and stroking himself in time to Tullia’s pleasure.

On his fingertips, he could feel her body growing slick with its readiness to receive him, and knowledge of the reaction caused a twinging in the pit of his belly. Abruptly, Maximus drew his hand away from his member and began to breath deeply, warding away the release that was so close to coming.

The woman beneath him made a sound of protest at the sudden action, but the Spaniard merely chuckled, laying his finger against her lips. "Soon, my love…"

Maximus held his body carefully apart from her own, and turned his attention to kissing her again. At last, he tasted her delicious breasts, taking as much of the creamy mounds as possible into his mouth, and then drawing away, catching the tiny nipples between his teeth, and nipping them playfully…

Tullia, taunted with the nearness of release, would not be satisfied with the act. She pulled his body to her own, urging him to claim the gift that she offered.

"It will hurt." He warned.

Tullia nodded…but in spite of the admonition, she spread her knees eagerly, again, responding to nature to supply the proper initiation of an act that she had never know. Settling his knees between her thighs, Maximus positioned himself above her and then, drawing her to his lips for a final, probing kiss, sheathed himself in her flesh.

Beneath him, Marius' daughter cried out at the penetration, and he held her tightly until the pain subsided. When at last he felt her muscles relax, the general moved slightly away, and then buried himself again in her warm flesh, his body drunk on the sensations that he had not experienced in so long.

He continued his gentle thrusting, allowing Tullia’s body to accommodate him and then, when he could sense that she was ready, taking her harder, driving her bottom deep into the mattress with every thrust…

Maximus was careful to note his lover’s reaction to his movements, and he felt a shiver of satisfaction as he felt her climax around him. Her body twisted beneath him as she came, tightening around him, begging him to join her in ultimate release. With a moan, Maximus took his final thrust holding his breath as his body finally surrendered to its most primal impulse. His body shimmered with pleasure as he spilled his hot seed between his lover's thighs. The sensations were so acute that they were almost painful, and it was many moments of deep breathing before he was once again able to speak….

Tullia laid in Maximus' arms for a long time. They weren't sleeping, or talking- just basking in the sense of stillness and contentment that had been foreign to their lives for so long.

At last, the gladiator loosened his grip around her waist.

"You should go." He said reluctantly. "Suplicius and your father will be worried about you."

"They know where I am."

"Do they?"

The flush on the woman's cheeks indicated her lack of confidence. "They have to know that I'm in love with you." She said softly.

"People see what they want to see." Maximus answered. "I think, for your father’s health, it would be best not to reveal to him just yet that you are sleeping with the help."

"He doesn’t think of you that way. He thinks of you as-"

"- as the son he lost in Germania." Maximus finished for her. "Which is why I care too much about his good opinion to risk upsetting him now." He ran his thumb along the slightly protruding lip that indicated Tullia was about to pout. "We can tell him soon, but not yet...when the farm is running more smoothly..."

"The farm!" Maximus' words reminded Tullia of his wound, and her eyes flew to his elbow. The exertion of their lovemaking had reopened the wound somewhat, and a sluggish line of congealing blood had dribbled half-way down his forearm.

"Here, I will have to wash it again." She said, sitting up in the bed and drawing her shift over her head as she spoke. Retrieving the rag and another cup of water from a pail by the door, she once again tended the cut. "Oh, Maximus. You have to stop this...there are other ways to save the farm....Promise me!"

"I do promise, Tullia....but not yet."

As expected her eyes flashed dangerously.

"I have one more job to do...please, trust me, there is no way out of....helping the others" he continued to speak quickly, not wanting to give the girl a chance to protest. "My last job will be on the Ides...after that, I promise you- I will be only a farmer."

Tullia's jaw twitched as though she had a lot more left to say, but she bit her tongue. "Allright." She said at last," But be careful...if I loose you..."

"You won’t." Maximus assured her. "You never will."

*****

During the following weeks, Maximus and Tullia’s relationship blossomed. Though the Ides approached with much tension, it left the pair almost brimming over with joy. Maximus returned as he always had before. Dishelved, but intact, his pockets brimming over with copper coins that were used to make payments on debts, buy new seed for spring planting, and conduct repairs around the farm.

Although no one spoke of their feelings, the sense of relief extended to more than just the eques' daughter. Marius himself had harbored strong suspicions about his employee’s occupation...and Suplicius had shared them. The men were terribly afraid of what would happen if the man were arrested, or, worse, if he were killed. How would they continue to support the farm with no one young and strong to protect them...and how would Marius ever mend his poor daughter’s broken heart? For one thing was clearer to him than even the transparency of Maximus’ claimed occupation as a scribe: his daughter was in love with the man.

Marius didn’t know quite how to feel. On the one hand, he believed that the Spaniard truly cared for his daughter. He proved his love everyday as he toiled backbreaking hours under the hot sun in their fields ...on the other, what father didn’t want more for their daughter? She was pretty and sweet-tempered, high-born...Tullia deserved only the best, and he wanted to give it to her. If only Maximus were a rich and powerful noble, rather than a deserter and a former slave!

In the end, Marius decided to let the Gods decide the fate of the relationship. He watched from afar, pretending that he didn’t notice when Tullia crept toward the lake after meals, and praying that everything would work out alright.

Tullia was feeding the chickens in the yard in front of the house, chatting with Sulpicius' wife as she cleaned vegetables for their dinner, when movement near the gates of the farm attracted her glance. The young woman squinted her eyes against the sun and saw two very well dressed men walking in her direction. Tullia cleaned her hand with her apron and moved to meet them, a worried expression on her face. Were they officials sent by their creditors to retrieve their money?

"Good morning," she said, "Can I help you?"

"Good morning to you, my lady. We are imperial envoys from Rome. We are looking for the Spaniard." replied on of the newcomers.

"Who?"

"The Spaniard. The editor of the arena told us he lives here."

Tullia shook her head, "I don't know who you are talking about...Perhaps you came in the wrong place."

The two visitors exchanged a look, probably thinking the same thing, when the noise of someone walking on the gravel covered path made then look around.

Maximus joined Tullia and put an arm around her waist, "There is something wrong?"

"No, nothing. These gentlemen are searching for a man but they came in the wrong place."

"Oh," Maximus' eyes turned to look to the strangers and asked, "Who is that?"

"A gladiator named the Spaniard; at the arena they told he lives on a farm in this area..."

"You see, Maximus, they are in the wrong farm, here there is no...." Tullia's voice died as she saw her lover's face pale under its tan. "Maximus?" she asked timidly, "Are you all right?"

The general nodded briefly and asked, "What do you want from him?"

"We have a offer for him." said one of the men, understanding that he was now speaking with the Spaniard himself.

"What kind of offer?"

"The emperor is organizing 150 days of games in Rome and he is gathering the best gladiators in the empire. The fame of the Spaniard and of his invincibility has traveled all the way to the Capitol and Caesar wishes to have him fight in the Colosseum. He told us to do whatever it takes to hire him."

Maximus stayed silent, acutely conscious of Tullia's eyes fixed on him. He did not want to meet her gaze when she finally realized what the other two men already knew, that he was the Spaniard.

"I am the Spaniard," he said. As he had predicted, Maximus felt Tullia's body stiffen under his arm, before she freed herself and went away. He followed her with his gaze as she ran among the fields directed to the lake and then sighed, returning his attention to the imperial envoys, "Name your offer." he said reluctantly.

*****

Maximus reached the lake and sat silently on a rock a few feet away from Tullia. She was staring at the horizon, a distant expression on her lovely face. Maximus wanted to take her in his arms and console her but he did not know how the action would be received. So he remained silent, his gaze fixed on his lover.

"Are they gone?" Tullia finally asked.

"Yes," he said softly.

"Why didn't tell me?"

"I-- I was afraid of your judgement. Afraid you would consider me an infamis, a monster..."

"I could never think so....You saved my father...you saved the farm...you risked your life for us.. I can only love you more." Tullia looked at him and Maximus saw in her eyes she really meant what she was saying.

"My love..." he whispered, before walking to her and dragging her in his arms.

They embraced for a long time until Tullia said, "How did they take your refusal?"

Maximus did not reply but looked away. Suddenly alarmed, the woman raised her head from his shoulder and looked at him, "Maximus?"

He sighed deeply and whispered, "I did not refuse...."

"What?!" Tullia struggled against his arms and he let her go, watching with pained eyes as stepped back and stared at him with accusing eyes, "Why?"

"Tullia, they offered me so much money...A sum so great that it will cover all the farm debts and still have some left over. We will be able to hire new workers and enlarge the cultivations. You will have the life you deserve..."

"But what if you are killed? I told you a long time ago, I would prefer to live in the streets with you than in a palace without you.....Please Maximus, go to find them tomorrow, and tell them you changed your mind..." Tullia looked at him with eyes full of hope but the general shook his head, "I cannot. I have already sighed the contract. I will leave for Rome within ten days."

"No!" And before Maximus was able to react, the girl rushed away, running blindly to her house.

Maximus watched with regret as Tullia fled, but he did not try to follow her. He knew that she was struggling to understand what he was doing, just as he had warred within himself to accept it.

Still, he was surprised when she did not bring breakfast to his shack as he had grown accustomed to her doing...and he was even more startled when, at dinner when he entered the house, she mumbled that she wasn't hungry and walked away from the table.

Maximus' light eyes followed her with the look as if he had been struck by a physical blow. He didn't mean to be obvious, but by the time he realized how he must look, Marius and Suplicius were both staring.

"Tell me what is wrong." Marius said gently trying to draw the younger man's attention away from the door.

"Tullia is.....upset." Maximus bowed his head, not wanting to tell Marius the story, but unable to keep it inside. "I broke a promise to her."

Marius frowned. "A promise...what sort of promise?"

"To...to quit my job in the city."

"This has to do with the young men who came for you today?"

The Spaniard nodded. "Yes, they want me to come with them to Rome, the fee-"

"To Rome? You are going to Rome to commit a robbery?"

Maximus blinked. "What?" He said, after a long pause.

Marius sighed heavily, the rush of air seeming to rattle his aged bones. "I told you when we met that I wouldn’t judge you for what you did in the past, and I can’t judge you for what you did to save the farm, but planning--"

"I was never a thief."

"There’s no reason to lie."

"I was a gladiator."

A thick silence seemed to envelop the room.

"What?" Marius said at last, his voice strangled.

"A gladiator I...I fought in the arena in the town...it was the only way...the only way to-"

"Maximus!" the old man said in a shaken voice. "You didn’t...you couldn’t! I thought...I thought I knew you!"

"There is a lot that you don’t know." Maximus said darkly. He looked at the door. "I should go."

His stomach churned as he pushed away his chair and walked to the door. "I will be leaving for the village tonight. I sail in nine days....I’ll send the money to compensate you for your hospitality."

Moving quickly, so that the tears in his eyes wouldn’t show, Maximus left the room.

*****

Nine days.

Though his physical being was in relative luxury, Maximus’ heart had never been in such pain. How could anything hurt as much as losing Marcus and Selene? He had learned that it was possible- knowing that Tullia was alive in the world and didn’t love him...didn’t want him...was ashamed was somehow worse. When he thought ahead to the gladiator games in Rome, he viewed them only as a release.

His battle before the emperor would be his last. Let Commodus have what he had always wanted. Maximus would die.

The general was distracted from his macabre thoughts by a light tapping on the door. He groaned, the innkeeper's wife had shown him far more attention than he desired, plying her favorite gladiator with wine and clean blankets and any other pretense that she could use to gain access to the room. She had offered baser forms of comfort as well, but he had resisted. It was Tullia that he wanted.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

With a low curse, Maximus looked up from the bed. "Come in." he shouted.

There was a pause, and then the door swung tentatively open. "Maximus?"

He sat up suddenly. It was Tullia.

They stared at each other for a long moment, and for an agonizing second, he was terrified that she was going to go away again. Wanting to stop her, he jumped from the bed and crossed the room.

"Tullia! You came...."

"Yes...I....you haven’t left yet?"

"No. Tomorrow."

"So soon?"

Her pretty features went ashen, and he reached, instinctively forward to stroke her cheek. "I’m afraid so...I am traveling with a lanista named Proximo and his gladiators. We will reach the coast, and then...." he didn’t finish the sentence.

"You are coming back?" Tullia’s voice hovered somewhere between a statement and a question.

"Do you want me to come back?"

Both of the lovers held their breath, waiting for the other to respond...at last, Tullia did so, her tears rushing down her cheeks as though a dam inside her had burst. "Yes. Oh, Maximus. You have to come back!"

"You don’t hate me?"

"How can you ask that? How could I have been so angry if I didn’t love you with all my heart? It is agony to think of you fighting in the Colosseum in Rome, never knowing if you are alright, or if you will return ...when you will..."

Maximus nodded, and pulled her into a comforting embrace.

*****

Maximus and Tullia spent a night of almost perfect happiness, the joy of their reconciliation marred only by the certainty that, with the dawn, their hours together would end. Maximus must go to Rome. Tullia understood the import of a contract concluded with the emperor himself. It could end in only two ways, obedience, or death.

"Promise me that you will be careful!" Tullia said for the hundredeth time as he mounted his horse.

"Swear to me that you won’t take any chances....that you will hurry home."

"I will." He said again. "You know that I will."

"I love you, Maximus."

"I love you..."

*****

After Maximus' departure life in the little farm went on as usual, but it was clear something important was missing. As if the soul of the the fields, the house and the workers, had been stolen. The men rarely laughed in the fields and the villa was now quieter than it used to be.

Tullia busied herself by restoring the house to its past beauty, even buying back some of the items which had been sold in the beginning of Marius' illness, but her smile and her joy to live was gone. At night she lay in her bed, thinking of Maximus, wondering about his well-being and wishing he was there with her, wanting so badly to feel the warmth of his body and to hear the sound of his voice.

She was also feeling physically unwell. A constant sensation of tiredness accompanied her during the days. Sometimes she went to the lake and spent time watching the sky but more than once the sight of the empy hut where she and Maximus had spent so many beautiful moments made her run away. Despite his promise to return, she was beginning to think she would never see him again...

14

Marius was reading a book in the little perystilium of his villa when Sulpicius entered the arcade, his always jovial face looking perplexed.

"Sir, one of Zucchabar duumviri is here to speak with you."

"With me?" Marius arched an eyebrow, wondering what one of the town rulers might want from him. "Do you know why?"

"No, sir, he only said it is urgent."

"All right, let him inside."

Sulpicius scurried away and Marius put away his book, before standing up and straightening his clothes.

The stewart returned few moments later followed by an elegant man.

Marius and the duumviro exchanged a few words of small talk as Sulpicius served them some wine, then Marius asked, "What I can do for you?"

"Have you heard about what happened in Rome?" said his guest.

"I know that Commodus has been killed and that now the government of the Empire is in the hands of the Senate."

"Yes, that's true....But do you know who actually killed him?"

"No."

"Well, it was a general of the army. He led his legion in the city and killed the tyrant in the Colosseum, in front of fifty thousand Romans."

Marius nodded, wondering where the duumviro was heading with all this talking but did not comment. The other man sipped his wine then went on, giving his host the answers he wanted, "The reason behind my visit is that this same general has been appointed as prefect of this province and he had decided to move the governor's residence from the coast to this city. He will be here in six days."

"What?" Marius was surprised.

"Yes, Tirones, the new governor wants to live here...don't ask me why, since everyone who can leaves this place. My collegue and I are organizing a gathering to honor the general and we would like for all local the nobles and landowners to be present. You, of course, are at the top of our list, I think it would be impossible to find a better family that yours.."

Marius smiled proud then replied, "I would be honored to be there."

"Good!" the town ruler patted his tights with his hands and stood up. "Now I must go, I have to visit other villas."

"Of course."

Marius put down his cup on the table then stood up and led his guest to the door. As they were walking along the corridors he asked, "Just for curiousity, what is this general's name?"

"Maximus Decimus Meridas, former commander of the Army of the North."

Marius was barely able to suffocate a gasp of surprise, but his sudden excitement was lost on his guest, who was already thinking of his next visit as he slipped out the door.

*****

As soon as the duumviro was gone away, Marius ran up the staircase leading to the family rooms. He quickly reached his daughter bedroom and knocked, "May I come in?"

"Of course, tata." came the reply. Marius opened the door and saw his daughter standing near the window, looking outside. The old man felt a pang in his heart as he realized Tullia was staring at the road that led to Zucchabar from the coast, undoubtly hoping to see a rider come in their way. Marius sighed and said, "I just received a visit from one of the duumviri...."

Tullia heard the excitement in her father's voice, so turned her head away from the glass and looked at him, inviting him to go on.

"He was here to tell me we are going to have a new governor."

"Oh." Tullia's voice did not hide her disappointment; it was clear the girl did not understand the reason for such exitement. But truth to tell, nothing except the kicks of her child excited her in these days....Her worry and desperation for Maximus were her costant companions.

"He is Maximus Decimus Meridas....the general under whom your brother served."

Tullia smiled as she finally realized why her father was so happy. She knew Marius Iunior had idolized his commander, writing often about him in the letters he sent from the frontier. "Do you think you will be able to meet him?"

"I am almost sure...Tullia, the duumviri are organizing a banquet to celebrate the general's arrival and I have been invited to participate. I would like for you to come with me."

"But tata...! In my condition..." Tullia caressed her wide belly. There was no way to conceal the fact she was pregnant....and without a husband.

"I don't care what the others might think...I know you are a honorable woman and that the child father's is a good, self-sacrificing man, and that is all that matters." said Marius proudly.

Tullia walked to her old father and embraced him, kissing him on his cheek. "Thank you, tata. I will be honored to be at your side."

Father and daughter stayed in each other arms for a long minutes, forgetting, if only for few time, the worries they held for their Maximus.

When Marius and Tullia entered the basilica, the big hall was already full of people : everyone with a certain degree of importance -- because of family or because of wealth -- in the entire province was now gathered in Zucchabar, awaiting for the arrival of the new governor.

As servants moved discretely, carrying trays full of food or amphorae filled with wine, the invitees formed small groups, talking quietly or animately among themselves. The subject of all the conversations was the same: the newly appointed prefect of the province, who would soon make his appareance. The notable persons of Zucchabar practically already knew everything about General Maximus Decimus Meridas. They knew he was a Spaniard and that he had been Marcus Aurelius' favorite general. It was rumored that he had been the emperor's designed heir. They also knew he had incurred Commodus' wrath and that he had been condamned to death. Even if he had been able to save himself, he had not been able to do the same for his family. They had been tortured and executed for treason. The only questions still without answers concerned where the general had been from the day of his escape from Germania to his appearance in Rome, and why a such powerful man, who could have easily claimed the emperorship for himself, had wanted to bury himself in such forsaken place like Zucchabar.

These questions did not enter Marius' and Tullia's minds as they moved through the cavernous hall. They only wanted to meet the man who had been Marius Iunior's commander, being among the few who were not hoping to impress the new governor to gain personal benefits. Marius and his daughter stopped near a column and soaked in the scene. The old man was happy to be finally able to mingle with his peers, many of whom had been his creditors until few months before, and glad that he could greet them while keeping his head held high. He was wearing a pristine new white toga with the ordo equestor stripe and he looked so dignified he even seemed younger and taller.

At his side Tullia looked magnificent in her jade-colored shift and emerald stola. The dark green embroidery at her neck seemed to emphasize the green of her elegant eyes. Despite her father reassurance she could not help but feel that everyone's eyes were fixed upon her rounded belly. She was acutely conscious that everyone knew she was not married and that they must be wondering about the child's father. Tullia was feeling uncomfortable and so she stayed near her father, pressing even closer to him as she saw her former intended groom, Gaius Marcianus, approach them with Calliope.

"Tirones," Marcianus said, without any form of greeting, "I see your fortunes have greatly improved."

"Yes, they have." Marius replied graciously, ignoring the other man's bad manners.

"I wonder how it happened..."

"With many sacrificies, hard work...and blood." Was the cryptic answer.

Gaius frowned and turned his attention to Tullia. "You are a beauty, my dear," His eyes lingered pointedly on her stomach. "and I see that I am not the only one who noticed....However I am confused...word never reached me of your marriage..." His voice was caustic: his pride had been wounded when she refused to marry him and so he tried to wound her in turn.

Marius straightened his back and replied coldly, "Tullia will wed shortly, as soon as the child's father returns from Rome. And now, forgive us, but we have many other people to speak to." He took his daughter's hand and led her away.

"I am sorry, darling, I should not have asked you to come with me."

"Don't worry, tata, I am strong enough to bear some insults. But I still hope that the general will arrive soon, so that we can leave."

As if in response to her wish, an exicited murmur ran among the crowd and all the heads turned to the door where the guest of honor had finally appeared.

Tullia turned to look as well, and was not able to stifle a shocked cry as her eyes swept over the imposing figure now walking in the hall. The general was wearing his full uniform, included an elaborate leather cuirass and a wide red-wine cloak, but if the rest of the guests were impressed by his rich clothes, Tullia was captured by his face, by his short cropped dark hair and by his beard. The young woman turned to look at her father and his stunned expression confirmed she was not hallucinating. 'Her' Maximus and General Maximus Decimus Meridas were the same man! Everyone assembled was now staring at his face, finally recognizing in their new governor the gladiator known as "the Spaniard".

"Well," someone near Marius commented, "Now we know where he spent the months between his disapparence in Germania to his arrival in Rome....fighting in our arena."

The words seemed to shake the old man out of his trance-like state and he said to his daugther, "Come, we must go to him."

Maximus shook another hand and sighed, wondering inwardly how many more people he would have to greet before he could leave the reception and rush to Marius' farm....to Tullia. After so many months spent away his longing for her was so strong that he was the victim of almost constant daydreaming, which intruded his life in every moment.....even now, he imagined that he saw Tullia and Marius approaching him. Something seemed wrong with the vision...different somehow, and Maximus frowned.....Not only the images failed to disappear as he blinked his eyes, they moved closer, stepping into sharper focus.

Yes, the shape of Tullia had changed from his other musings. Her figure seemed fuller, rounder....

His eyes widened when he finally realized what he was really seeing. It wasn't an illusion. It was real! Forgetting everyone else in the room, Maximus moved purposely in Tullia's direction. The other guests saw his mesmerized gaze and moved aside, creating a passage for him.

When they were finally close, Tullia and Maximus stared at each other, as if they were afraid it was only a dream which would shatter if they spoke. In the end -- neither knowing which of them actually started the action -- they fell in each other's arms, embracing as tightly as Tullia's condition allowed. Then they began to kiss, totally blind to Marius' tears of joy or the stunned stares of the other guests. They were together at last and, as Maximus was fond to say, the rest was dust and air.

16

"So, would you please tell me what happened in Rome?" Tullia asked Maximus later that night. They were lying on her bed in the villa, her head resting on his chest listening to his heartbeat, as his hand gently caressed her belly, feeling his child move beneath its surface. He had already told her about Selene and Marcus, and was surprised that she was still interested in hearing more about his past.

"It is a long story, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Of course!"

"Very well.... Now, as I told you before leaving, I traveled to Rome with a lanista named Proximo and his gladiators. He is a portly and exuberant man who might look very calculating but deep inside is good and honorable. We became sort of friends during the journey and when we reached Rome he allowed me to stay in his home near the ludus magnus -- the place were the gladiators are kept -- instead that looking for a room in an inn. I accepted gratefully and settled with him. Two days later I had my first match...." Maximus paused a little, wondering if it would be better not to tell her how close he had been to being killed, but realized he could not stay silent. So he went on, "It was a recreation of the battle between the Rome and Carthage in Zama and, along with Proximo's men, I was forced to act in the role of the barbarians..."

"But the barbarians lost the battle of Zama..." Tullia mused aloud.

"Precisely. We were herded into the centre of the arena while other gladiators, playing the parts of the Romans, ran around us in chariots, aiming at our group with bows and schytes fixed to the chariots wheels. It was a terrible situation but my military training helped us to survive. Proximo's men trusted me enough to follow my commands and we won the battle."

"Always a leader.....and always caring for the others." Tullia whispered, kissing him on the cheek. Maximus smiled at her words before retuning to his story.

"Unfortunately our surprise victory had a downside. Commodus came down in the arena to meet me. I was not expecting it and I was not ready.....I was wearing a helmet which covered my face and I hoped I would be able to complete the encounter without being forced to reveal myself-but it was not so. I was ordered to put off the helmet and so I found myself face to face with the man who had killed my family, my emperor and forced me to slavery. I was sure he would have me killed when he saw me and so I defied him with my words. But then something incredible happened: the crowd began to ask Commodus to spare my life. I neved cared very much of what the audience thought of my 'skills' as gladiator but that time it saved my life. Commodus could not kill me if he wanted to keep the mob under control. And so, he went away even if it was clear we were far from finished." Maximus stopped and swallowed and Tullia let out the breath she had been holding. "What happened next?"

"I returned to Proximo's home. Soon it became clear that the building was under surveillance and that I could not escape-but that did not stop Marcus Aurelius' daughter from coming to visit me. We had known each other for a long time and she wanted me to help her kill Commodus but I refused..."

"Why?"

"Because I swore to you to be careful and plotting against the emperor was not a smart thing to do...But it was difficult for me...Seeing Commodus reawakened in me all the hate that I felt for him that had been dimmed during the time I spent with you and your father. The desire to avenge my family and my emperor was strong...but I resisted."

"Thank you for keeping your promise."

Maximus kissed the top of her head and went on, "Unfortunately Commodus wanted nothing more than get rid of me and so my next fight was not a fair match. I had to fight against a giant of a man and four tigers. The beasts were chained: their handlers gave them space when I was near their claws and mouths but they stopped the cats from attacking the other man. But, somehow, I won again. Commodus was furious; he came to see me again and taunted me with cruel remarks about my wife and son, hoping I would react, giving his Preatorians an excuse to kill me. But I continued to resist. My resolution to do nothing to him was crumbling; I could not allow such a man to be the ruler of Rome. He would have destroyed everything his father did, everything your brother and many good men died for. So, thanks to my manservant Cicero -- the young man you saw at the reception, the one with the scarred face -- I contacted the Augusta Lucilla again. I knew by now that my army was in Ostia....the only problem was to smuggle myself outside of the city gates. Surprisily it was Proximo who offered to be my guide: it turned out that he had been a gladiator and that Marcus Aurelius had given him his freedom. Now he wanted to help me to eliminate his killer. Of course," and Maximus smiled, "The enormous sum of money Lucilla gave to him was also a powerful incentive. So, two nights after my second match, we escaped the notice of the Praetorians and exited the town gate. Cicero was waiting there with horses and we galloped to Ostia. In the meantime Lucilla had alerted the Senate of what was going to happen and gained its support. The rest, as they often said, is history."

"You led your legion to Rome, imprisoned Commodus in the Colosseum and killed him in front of the crowd. Yes, I heard that part of the story." Tullia hugged him tightly, "I am so happy you returned....I was so worried when we heard that, after the emperor's death, the games had been cancelled- and still I had no news from you."

"I am sorry for worrying you...I wanted to send you a message telling you that I was all right, but all the communications were cut until the new government was strong enough....and by that time I was ready to leave as well." Maximus raised her head from his chest and kissed her, "I surprised you, didn't I?"

"You certainly did! For a few minutes I thought that I was hallucinating when I saw in the middle of the hall!"

"But you surprised me as well....and you made me so happy..." Maximus caressed her belly gently and Tullia put her hand on his. Then they both turned on their sides, facing each other.

"I love you." Maximus whispered.

"I love you too." Tullia replied. They exchanged a sweet kiss and then remained silent, looking in each other's eyes, communicating on a deeper level. Slowly the tension and the excitement of the night left place to slumber and they abandoned themselves to it, enjoying their first worry-free sleep in months.

*****

Marius settled into his bed that night feeling as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Maximus had returned. What's more, he was governor of the province. At last he was certain that his daughter would have the happiness she deserved- and someone to watch over she and her child when he was gone.

Marius had not had much opportunity to speak with the man since his sudden reappearance. There had been a brief, perfunctory interview in which he had asked permission to marry Tullia, but they hadn't yet had time to really talk. There was so much that Marius wanted to know...why hadn't the Spaniard revealed himself sooner? Why had he decided to return?...and then there were questions about Marius Iunior that he wanted to ask as well. The knowledge that he was the same man that his son had spoken of so fondly in his letters- who had taken such care to personally pen the news of the boy’s death- was oddly touching. It seemed as if fate had twined their lived together purposefully.

Marius also wanted to ask Maximus about what had happened in Spain, but he didn't know how to broach the topic- and wasn't entirely sure that he wanted the answers. The gossip regarding the emperor's killer had trickled back even to Zucchabar: the story of a general, ordered to be killed, how the man had escaped, only to find his beloved first wife and son murdered and his farm burned to ashes....Had Maximus fought for the past, for his late family, or for the future that he hoped to share with Marius and Tullia?

For once, the old man could go to sleep with the knowledge that there was plenty of time to search for answers. Whatever his motives, Maximus had saved them. Happiness had returned.

Epilogue

Tullia and Maximus were wed in the yard between the garden and the house, under the shady tree that had sheltered them from the hot sun during their days of toil. As he stood next to his new bride, Maximus marveled at how much had changed since he had arrived at the little farm in chains.

Just an hour earlier, he had taken Marius' daughter as his second wife. In a few more days- a few more days if they were lucky, Maximus thought with a smile- he would be a father again.

Life had gone on.

A year ago, he hadn't believed that it was possible…hadn't believed that he wanted it too, but he was happy again. He had found peace.

"I look forward to working with you governor."

Maximus nodded at the words of Fulvius, one of the dozens of local businessmen who had appeared at the wedding as a show of respect for their most august citizen. The general nodded relieved that this was the last man in the long line of well-wishers.

"I look forward to it as well. Zucchabar province has a great deal of potential." The Spaniard extended his hand, and gestured for the man to enter the house. "Now, eat, we've got enough to feed an army--- and that's coming from someone with experience in such things."

Fulvius bowed respectfully one last time and then, with a nod to Tullia, disappeared inside the house.

Tullia took a step to follow him, but Maximus stilled her with his hand.

"Wait." He whispered, drawing her backwards into her arm. Holding he back against his chest so that he could whisper against her neck. "Can't a man have a moment alone with his wife?"

"Wife." Tullia echoed the word, beaming with happiness. "Oh, Maximus, I never thought this day would come."

He tilted his head forward so that he could look into her face. "I did."

"Really?"

"Yes…somehow I knew…from the moment that I met you…"

"So soon?"

Maximus' lips spread into a broad grin. "Well-at least from the day that we took you to Gaius' villa…I knew that you wouldn't marry him…that you were meant for me."

"I feel like I'm dreaming."

"Yes…" Maximus pushed back her flame-colored veil and ran his finger along a stray curl at the nape of her neck, and twined it around his finger as he inhaled the expensive perfume of her skin.

"Sometimes I feel that way too…"

"We have everything we always wanted."

"You have everything that you deserve."

Tullia smiled and looked back at the house. It was stuffed to running over with guests. Around the lawn, white canvas military tents had been staked up and filled with borrowed dining couches to contain the revelers. Beside the tents, excavation had begun for a new wing to the house containing Maximus' offices ...and a nursery. Looking at the outside of the home, the woman's thoughts went to the inside- to the rooms filled with the furnishings that had belonged to her mother or, when the general has been unable to locate them, or buy them back, expensive new pieces, made of fruitwood, and inlaid with gilt and tile. Upstairs, in a richly carved armoire, stacks of silken dresses- more than she could ever hope to wear- laid folded by an elegant Grecian maid, ready to retrieve them for her mistress at the chime of a silver bell. It was wonderful. It was too much….but it wasn't what made Tullia happy.

"I would have been just as happy if you had never left." She said, seriously. "I told you long ago that I would starve with you on the street if we could be together."

"Which is why…" Maximus whispered, his eyes full of love. "…I wanted to give it to you so badly…"

Maximus turned his spouse around, and pulled her tightly to his chest, listening to her breath for a few long moments before, with a sigh, he noticed one of the house servants walking forward to bring the master to his feast.

"Never enough time." He murmured under his breath, and Tullia shook her head.

"Never in the past…but we have a lifetime now…" She took his hand and started toward the house. "Let's begin."

THE END