"Have you thought about names?" she asked the woman on the other side of the screens. "Baby Dexter's going to be with us fairly soon."

"If it's a boy he's going to be William after his Dad."

"And what if it's a girl?"

"We can't decide." The woman behind the screens chuckled. "My hubby wanted to call her Kylie!"

She resisted a laugh. "What do you want to call her, if it's a girl?"

"I don't know, something pretty, and anything but Kylie! What does your initial 'E' stand for?"

"I'm an Erica. It's not what you'd call a pretty name."

"I don't know, I quite like it." She emerged from behind the screen fully dressed. "I like the name Lily too, after my gran, but it's a bit old fashioned don'tcha think?"

Erica smiled. "Lily's nice, I like old fashioned names. We'll just have to wait and see if you have a boy or a girl. It won't be a very long wait though so book an appointment for next week as usual, but I have a feeling baby will make an entrance long before then."

"Well I hope so, we're staying at home over Christmas just in case, and Bill's Mum is coming 'round to do the cooking."

"Sounds like you've got everything planned."

"We've tried to. We'll have a quiet Christmas this year, unless the baby makes an entrance. What about you Dr Birken, are you working or do you have a couple of days off?"

"I have the week off, for the first time in a couple of years," she told her.

"I suppose you have big plans then?"

"You could say that. I plan to spend it all on my own, in my own home for once, just pottering about doing whatever I want to do. That probably sounds weird to you, but it sounds like paradise to me," she laughed. It was paradise, no unfaithful bastard of a boyfriend to worry about. Mum and Dad thousands of miles away at her sisters place, so she could forgo the obligatory Christmas dinner, and the third degree over her love life.

Judy Baxter smiled. "If that's what you want then good luck to you. All I want is an end to walking like duck, and to get out of wearing these bloody tents, and back in normal clothes."

"Won't be long, you'll soon be out of the maternity clothes. Now you take care, and have a wonderful Christmas."

"You too Dr Birken, thanks."

Erica saw her out and then went back to her desk to update Mrs Baxter's records. She stretched out the crick in her neck, glad surgery was over for the holidays. No visits tonight, the locum service would take care of that, and a whole week of peace and quiet ahead of her. She planned a nice, lazy time of it, pigging out and doing as little as possible. It seemed like forever since she'd had any time to herself.

She finished up the file and then got up. She'd deal with whatever Sylvia, her receptionist might have for her, then get off home. As she opened her office door the sound of raised voices reached her from the waiting room, and she went through to see what was going on.

There was a huge argument underway between Sylvia, Theresa her nurse, and a young lad, in his early teens by the looks of him. He was upset, the boy, and he was swearing like a trooper.

"I'm not leavin' 'till I get to see the fuckin' doctor you bitch!" he told Sylvia.

"You'll do as you're damn well told or we'll ring the police. We've had enough of your sort in here before, causing trouble," Theresa told him.

By 'your sort' she meant skinhead. The boy's head was just about clean shaven, and he wore all the gear, even down to the obligatory Doc Martens. Erica wasn't too sure what Theresa was talking about though, in the eighteen months she'd been at the practice she'd never seen a skinhead. She'd noticed them around Footscray though, they were difficult to miss.

"I'm the doctor," she told the boy, surprising all three of them. "Would someone like to tell me what on earth is going on here?"

The boy turned. "It's Dr Marshall I want, not some woman!"

"Dr. Marshall hasn't been here for nearly two years, and if it's a doctor you want you're going to have to see 'some woman' because I'm all there is right now. Now, would you like to calm down and tell me what it is you want? Are you unwell?"

"Not me, my mate. He lives at the 'Old Drover' on East Street.."

"I'm sorry doctor but we don't deal with these people anymore, especially the one he's talking about. Dr Marshall told them to find some other doctor." Sylvia told her.

"There isn't another fuckin' doctor in Footscray, not a white one anyway! They're all fuckin' gooks!"

"Then use the hospital," Sylvia snapped back.

"Can we just calm down a minute?" Erica told them. She turned to the now red faced boy. "Does your friend not have another doctor?"

"No. He told me to come here, fetch Dr Marshall. He's real sick!"

"Okay, let's go see your friend then. I'll just get my jacket and my bag. You tell the receptionist your friend's name so we can see if we have his records still on file, okay?"

"But Dr Birken.." Sylvia began.

"Let's see what we can do Sylvia, please? We don't refuse medical treatment to anyone."

"Yes doctor."

Erica went back into her office, and collected her jacket, medical bag, and phone. So much for the fun idea of going straight home, but she couldn't bear the idea of someone going without medical treatment, even if he was a skinhead or whatever.

She slipped on her jacket as she went back out to the waiting room and collected a patients medical record from Sylvia. The boy was quiet now, but he was grinning triumphantly at her receptionist.

"We'll hang on here until you get back doctor," Theresa told her.

"No need Theresa," she assured her. "I'm bushed and I'd like to get straight off home after this call. I've got my phone, and I'll give you a ring once I've seen this last patient. I shouldn't be too long. There's no sense in keeping you hanging around, the two of you get off home and have a wonderful Christmas, I fully intend to." She gave them a grin. "I'll see you both in a week, don't work too hard without me," she told them before looking over at the boy. "Come on then, show me where we're going!"

~~

The boy looked at Erica's Mitsubishi with unconcealed distaste. "I'm not getting in that fucking thing! Pile of Jap crap!"

Erica sighed. "Fine, you run back home to your sick friend then and explain that you didn't fetch him a doctor because you wouldn't get in her car. Then you can either take him to the hospital or ring an ambulance if it's urgent. The choice is yours," she told him evenly.

Her answer seemed to surprise him. "He won't go to the hospital," he told her quietly.

"Well the choice is yours, what's it going to be? Are you getting in the car or not?"

"I don't have a lot of fucking choice do I?"

"No you don't."

He climbed reluctantly into the car beside her and sat there, arms folded across his chest.

"Seat belt," she reminded him, "or we go nowhere."

He glared at her, but put it on. "Bossy bitch, aren't ya?"

"Too true. One more thing; if you swear once more whilst you're in my car I'll pull over and we won't go anywhere, understood?" His glare burned into her, but he eventually nodded when he realized she wouldn't start the car until he'd agreed. "So, do you have a name?" she asked him, as she headed in the direction of East Street. It was in a run down, slum area near the railway yards.

"Bubbs."

"Right Bubbs, do you want to tell me what's wrong with your friend?"

"He's got pain in his guts, I think it's real bad."

"Is the pain from a wound of some kind, or is he just ill?"

"He's ill, it's not from a fight or nothin'"

"Okay."

They drove on in silence until they reached East Street. "Now where?" she asked the youngster.

"See the boarded up pub at the top of the road?"

"Yep."

"That's it. You'll have to park in front."

It was hard to imagine anyone living in a place like this, Erica decided as she got her bag and phone out of the car and locked it. The place looked abandoned, fit only to be demolished. There was little round about, and the building was daubed with racist graffiti. There was litter everywhere, and an air of neglect and decay hung around the place.

"Where do we go?" she asked the boy, Bubbs.

"It's this way."

He banged hard, on a steel shuttered set of doors, a couple of times before the sound of bolts being drawn back could be heard from the inside, and when someone opened the door she followed the youngster in.

They were greeted by another skinhead, much older than the boy. He was tall and quite gaunt looking.

"Who's this Bubbs? I thought we told you to fetch Dr Marshall."

"This is the Doc, she's all I could get Davey."

"I'm Dr Birken," she told the one called Davey. "Dr. Marshall moved away about two years ago. Bubbs tells me you have someone here who needs medical attention, is it you?"

"Nah, he's upstairs. I'll take you. Bubbs you wait outside, keep an eye on the doctor's car, okay?"

"It's a pile of Jap shit!"

"I don't care what it is, go do as you're told, now!"  he said raising his voice.

"Okay, keep your fuckin' shirt on!"

The boy went back outside and the one called Davey turned his attention back to her, chewing his lip thoughtfully. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay. Do you want to take me to the patient?"

"Yeah, this way."

The place was squalid and dirty, a few items of tattered bar furniture strewn around. "Do you live here?" she asked him, as she followed him up a creaking, none too safe looking, wooden staircase.

"Some of us do, on and off."

"The boy?"

"No, he lives with his Dad, hangs about a lot though."

It wasn't quite as bad upstairs. There were a few rooms and she spotted a couple more skinheads stretched out on chairs and a sofa in one of them, watching a small black and white tv, beers in hand.

"Were through here," he told her, and opened another door for her to go inside.

Erica stopped in her tracks at the sight that met her. The walls of the room were covered in neo-nazi paraphernalia. Germany army and Hitler youth recruiting posters, newspaper clippings and magazine articles, she'd never seen anything quite like it. The room was dominated by a Nazi flag, and there was a framed photograph of Adolph Hitler hung on the wall.

Below the photo, laying on a mattress on the floor, and covered by an old grey army type blanket was another skinhead. This one was clearly her patient.

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong with him?" she asked the one called Davey as she knelt down beside the man on the floor.

"He's been feeling ill for a couple of days now, but he didn't let on how bad he was 'till last night. He's got pains in his stomach."

"Do you know if he's been sick or if he's had diarrhoea?" she asked him.

"I think he's been sick a couple of times." She nodded. As she got close she could smell the pungent odor of stale vomit. "What's his name?" she asked. She hadn't had time to read his medical record.

"Hando."

"Okay." She shook the man's shoulder gently. "Hando, can you hear me!" He didn't respond straight away. "Hando, come on, talk to me!"

The man groaned, his head rolled towards her, and Erica found herself stunned by the surprising beauty of his face. Despite the skinhead haircut, and a couple of days growth of beard, it was one of the most attractive faces she had ever seen. She saw his thick, sweeping eyelashes flutter, and then the lids open to reveal smoky blue eyes. After a moment they focused on her.

"Hando, my name's Dr Birken. Your friends tell me you're not feeling very well. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"Pain," he told her, his voice little more than a whisper, "in my stomach."

"Okay, let's take a look at you shall we?" She examined him, carefully moving aside his dirty clothing, talking to him the whole time, asking him questions. His answers were more coherent than she expected, bearing in mind how ill he clearly was. He was very weak, and his abdomen, when she touched it, was extremely tender. Not only were there still traces of vomit on him, there was diarrhoea too. He'd clearly just been left to his own devices in this room.

"Are you having stomach cramps?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Bad."

She looked over at the one called Davey who stood ear the door. "Has anyone else been ill?"

"No, not that I know of."

"Has Hando eaten different food to the rest of you?"

He thought for a minute. "He might have done, he went to the footy on his own the other night."

"Did you have something to eat when you went to the football Hando?"

He took a while to answer her. "Had a burger."

"Is it food poisoning?" Davey asked her.

"Gastro enteritis of some kind or other," she nodded. She stroked a comforting hand over Hando's forehead. He was in a mess, having soiled himself, and he needed looking after, monitoring, he was already becoming dehydrated. "I think the best course of action here is to ring an ambulance and get you to hospital," she told him.

"No!" He shook his head.

"You need cleaning up, and you need some care. It won't be for long, just a few days and you'll be fine, I promise." She went to pick up her phone.

"Davey, no hospital!" Hando told him, raising his voice.

Davey hesitated for a second then snatched the phone out of the doctor's hand.

"What are you doing?" she asked him. "Give me that back!"

"He's not going to any hospital," Davey told her.

"Look, he can't stay here, he needs looking after," she told him reasonably. "If he doesn't get proper care he could die."

Davey knew he was digging himself a great big hole here, but he owed Hando, and Hando was his best mate. "What kind of care?"

"He needs proper bed rest, cleaning up, anti- diahorrea medication, and monitoring in case he becomes too dehydrated, if he does he'll need intravenous fluids."

"Couldn't you do that here?"

"Do you have hot water, a bath or a shower, clean bedding? Let me ring for an ambulance," she asked him. "Please?"

Davey wasn't sure what to do. He knew she was right, that Hando shouldn't be here, but he knew how Hando was about hospitals.

"Davey," Hando spoke up from the bed. "Her place, we go to her place."

"No, come on!" The doctor told him. "This is silly, you're going to wind up in all sorts of trouble, and all for no reason. Just give me the phone and let me ring for an ambulance. We'll forget the rest of this ever happened. Your friend's ill and he doesn't know what he's asking."

Davey couldn't concentrate when she was wittering at him. "Shut up!" he told her, "I need to think."

"There's nothing to think about, just let..."

"I said shut the fuck up!" Davey lost it, pulled the switchblade from the pocket of his jeans so she knew he meant business. That got her attention, and her silence. He opened the door. "Cackles," he shouted. "Get yourself in here!"

Cackles came straight in. "What's going on then?"

"We're moving Hando. On your feet Doc, right now!"

She stood up. He could see that she was scared now. It wasn't what he wanted but it couldn't be helped.

"You married Doc, livin' with anyone?"

"Yes."

Davey saw the lie in her eyes straight away. "Which is it, married or living with someone?"

"I'm married," she told him.

"Cackles, search her for ID." He knew Cackles wouldn't be gentle, or subtle, but he wanted her scared so she'd do as she was told. Davey searched through her medical bag and hit the jackpot when he found her leather-bound diary with a document wallet at the back. There was a card ID for a fitness club, not only did it have her home address, it stated quite clearly that she was single. He shot to his feet, pulled Cackles away from her and delivered a stinging slap to her face. "You're a fuckin' liar!" He thrust the card in her face. "You lie to me again an' I'll cut you, you understand?"

She nodded her head quickly, holding her face where he'd slapped her.

"You do as you're told, don't give us any trouble, and we'll be fine. We're going to your place, and you're gonna look after Hando properly, as soon as he's well enough we'll be gone and you'll never see us again. Fuck around, tell me lies, and I'll make you wish you were fuckin' dead. You got that?"

She nodded again. "Yes."

He turned to Cackles. "You stay here, watch her. I need to have a word with the others. No fucking around with her, okay?"

He nodded. "Right Davey."

~~

Cackles took to his taking charge automatically, but it didn't come easy to Davey, giving orders and making decisions. He was used to Hando doing that for him, for all of them. He went through his idea in his head before breaking it to the others. To his surprise they seemed to go for it, all except Bubbs of course.

Once he'd talked it over with the others he'd sent Brett down to keep an eye on the Doctor's car and to send Bubbs upstairs. He knew the kid was going to give him trouble.

"What's going on?" He asked as he confronted Davey. "How's Hando?"

"He's going to be okay, the Doc's gonna look after him. When you were at the surgery did she mention if she had any more calls to make, anything she had to do, do you remember?" Davey asked him.

"She was just coming to see Hando, told the other two bitches she was tired and she'd go straight home after she'd seen him."

"Were they worried about her comin' here?"

"Yeah, but she said she'd ring them soon as she was finished, said it wouldn't take long."

Davey nodded. "Was that everything, there was nothing else?"

"Just some shit about having a good Christmas. She's off for a week. Now tell me what's going on!"

"Hando needs some help and he won't go to the hospital so we're gonna take him to the Doc's place so she can look after him, fix him up."

"Will he be okay?"

"Yeah, but the shit's gonna hit the fan over the Doc, so while Hando's sick we need to find another squat, move out of here."

The boy nodded.

"Sonny, Champ, and Luke are gonna stay here, take care of the move. You're gonna stay with them."

"Fuck that, I'm going with Hando!" he insisted. "I'm not staying."

"You're gonna do as you're fuckin' told, you hear me!" Davey snarled at the kid, then wished he hadn't. He knew how attached to Hando the lad was, but he was too much of a liability to take with them. "Look Bubbs," he began, more calmly this time. "How many times has Hando told you you're his scout eh? He doesn't say things he doesn't mean, you know that. We need to find another squat, somewhere the cops won't find us when they come looking. That's down to you mate, you need to scout it out then help the others get us shifted. Hando's gonna be pissed if you let him down."

Bubbs sighed. "I won't let him down, will I? How long you gonna be gone?"

"I don't know, a couple of days maybe, not long. Soon as Hando's well enough we'll be back. Christen the new place with a Christmas party eh? We'll let you know, Champ knows the drill for us leaving messages, and he's in charge 'till Hando gets back, you got that?"

He nodded.

~~

When he went back into Hando's room the doctor was sat with him on the floor. Davey went over and crouched down beside her.

"How's he doing?" he asked her.

She looked at him, her face still red from the slap he'd given her. "He's sleeping."

He nodded. "Everything's gonna be okay if you do what we say and don't try any funny business, you got that?"

She nodded.

"Good. Now you need to make a phone call, right?"

"Yes."

He held out her cell phone to her. "One wrong word and I take you next door and let the lads have their fun."

"I won't try anything."

He nodded and gave her the phone.

Erica was pretty sure that the skinhead Davey meant every word he said. The one with the uneven teeth had already had a good grope when he was searching her. She couldn't see that she had much choice here, at least not right now, so she took the phone and dialed Theresa's number. The skinhead knelt next to her and listened in.

"Hi Theresa, it's Erica."

"Geez I've been worried sick about you, I've been waiting for you to ring. Everything go okay with the skinhead?"

"Yep, no problems there, just a mild dose of food poisoning. I'm going to get off now, go home."

"Okay Erica, see you in a weeks time. Have a nice holiday! And don't forget, if you get bored stuck up there on your own over the holiday, get yourself back here and spend Christmas with us."

" Thanks Theresa. You have a good Christmas too!"

She hung up and Davey took the phone off her. "Well done. Now we're going to get in your car and we're going to take Hando to your place where you're going to take care of him, all right?" He waited for her nod. "Do you need anything from the surgery?"

"No, I should have everything I need."

Right we're gonna carry Hando down to the car. You're doing the driving. Do anything to alert the cops and I'll make sure you're the one who'll be spending a good long time in the hospital."

"Look, you have my word that I won't do anything, I just want yours that as soon as your friend is well enough you'll just leave, you won't do anything to me."

"No one's looking to hurt you love," he told her. "I just don't want you to be in any doubt about what's gonna happen if things go wrong."

She nodded. "I understand."

"Right, you get your bag, we'll get Hando wrapped up and installed in the 'Shogun'."

"Don't wrap him up too much, he's dehydrated, if he starts to sweat he'll lose water even faster. There's some bottled water in the car, we can give him some whilst we travel. Hopefully he'll be able to keep it down."

"You live a fair way out of the city, yeah?"

"It should take us between two and a half to three hours to get there."

"Right, let's get moving then."

~~

Hando drifted in and out of sleep, only vaguely aware of what was going on around him. What little attention he had when he was awake was focused on the unrelenting nausea he was feeling, and the incredible, gut churning, pains in his stomach. He'd been sick more times than he cared to remember, making it to the dunny the first few times, to sit there puking his guts up. After a while he just didn't have the energy to make it to the lav' and he'd thrown up all over one of his blankets, and pretty much all over himself. All he could smell was sick and shit. He was pretty sure he'd done that too, but he couldn't do anything about it.

Davey had brought him water but he couldn't keep it down, couldn't keep anything inside him. In the end he'd told Davey to fetch Dr. Marshall. He was an evil old git but Hando didn't know anyone else, and there was no way he was going to a hospital, those places were full of fuckin' foreigners and there was no way he'd have them fucking around with him!

He didn't know where the girl had come from, but she'd been there when he'd opened his eyes. A real looker she was, short curly blonde hair, baby blue eyes. A doctor no less. She'd prodded at his belly and he thought he was going to be sick again, then she'd said something about going to the hospital. He wasn't going there, she could take care of him. Davey would fix it.

He couldn't remember leaving his room but he found himself in a car, stretched out in the back of what had to be an off roader. He could hear his mates voices from the seats in front. The movement of the car made his nausea worse and the stomach cramps agonizing. He remembered throwing up again more than once, until he was just dry heaving, retching when there was nothing left in his belly to come out, at least so he thought. Mercifully the car seemed to keep stopping, and the girl cleaned him up, talked to him while she stroked his back. It felt good, made the seasick feeling go away a bit so he got back to sleep.

~~

The trip in the car was a fucking nightmare. They decided to put Hando in the back so he could lay down and be more comfortable. He'd stirred a bit when Brett and Cackles had carried him downstairs, but he didn't fully wake up. The roads were unusually busy due to the Christmas holidays, but they left the city early enough and were soon well on their way.

For the first hour or so of their journey Hando had slept, but once he woke up he chundered his guts up, and they'd been forced to pull over whilst the doctor cleaned him up. After that he didn't seem to be able to get any rest at all. They even tried sitting him up, but he couldn't bear it. Hando was sick and they were forced to stop again for him to be ill, there wasn't much left to come out of the poor bastard, but he kept on heaving.

By the time they arrived at the doctor's place it was full dark. The journey had taken them over four hours, and Davey couldn't believe they hadn't been pulled by the cops, it had to be some kind of fucking miracle.

The doctor had done pretty well. Davey wasn't sure what he would have done if she'd  called his bluff and played up. She'd driven okay though, and she answered any questions he asked her. She wouldn't look at him though, the only one she'd look at was Hando, and he couldn't fault her taking care of him.

Her place looked old, and it seemed to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere as far as Davey could tell. It was all in darkness when they arrived. He went with her as she opened up and turned on the lights before going back out to the Shogun.

"We need to get him cleaned up straight away," she told him. "He's filthy. The quickest way would probably be to sit him in the bath tub and shower him off. I'll need some help though, and the back of the car needs cleaning out and disinfecting or it's going to stink."

Davey nodded. "Brett, Cackles, once we've got Hando inside you get to work cleaning out the back of the car."

"There's everything you'll need under the sink in the kitchen," she told them.

"Aw come on Davey, cleaning out the fucking car?" Cackles moaned.

"Just fuckin' do it, unless you want to ride back into town in a couple of days with it stinking of puke?"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Now give me a hand getting Hando inside." He went over to the back of the car and shook his shoulder gently. "Hando, come on we're here," he told his friend.

His eyes cracked open. "What?"

"Time to get you sorted out mate, come on. Let's get you inside." They helped him out of the back of the car, then he and Cackles supported his weight beneath his arms, and followed the doctor inside to the bathroom.

Davey helped her to undress him, and together they got him into the big, claw foot, bathtub where she was able to wash him and shower him off. Davey hadn't realised what a mess he was in, hadn't really known how sick his mate was until this morning. It made him feel like a shit. Hando would have known if it were him, he looked out for him, for all of them. He looked fucking awful. Davey had never seen Hando sick before, apart from hung over, in all the time he'd known him.

He felt a shit over the woman too. The doctor, Erica still couldn't look at him, didn't speak to him if she could help it. He wasn't surprised, he knew he must have scared the crap out of her.

She kept talking to Hando though, asking him stuff, and he was answering her most of the time.

Davey took the time to really look at her. She was tall and slim, she had long legs too. She had taken off the grey suit jacket and he could see she had nice tits beneath the white shirt she was wearing. She looked to be a natural blonde, and she wore her thick curly hair cut short. She was really fucking rootable.

"We need to get him out now, dry him off." Her voice interrupted his thoughts.

It wasn't easy getting him out and dried off. Hando was still with them but he couldn't do much to help himself. They managed though, but they had to pause when Hando's guts started heaving again. Davey had to leave them to it, sick he could cope with, but not diahorrea.

~~

Hando lay awake in a soft, clean, comfortable bed and watched as the doctor listened to his guts with the stethoscope. It was dark outside, lamps were on in the room. She'd changed her clothes, wore dark trousers and a t-shirt. She took the stethoscope out of her ears and looked up at him, gave him a smile.

"Hello, how are you feeling?"

"Not so good," he admitted.

"I know, there's still an awful lot going on in there by the sounds of it." She pulled the sheet up to cover him a bit then came to sit closer, checking his eyes and taking his pulse. "I've got some mouth wash here," she told him. "Do you want to freshen your mouth up a little?"

"Yeah." All he could taste was sick. He rinsed a little cup full of the stuff around his mouth and then spit it out into a bowl she held for him.

"Feel better?"

He nodded.

"That's good." She pinched a little of his skin lightly between her fingers, rolled it slightly before releasing it. "You're a little dehydrated," she told him. "Nothing to worry about yet but we need to get some liquid inside you. Do you want to try a drink of water, just a little, see if you can keep it down?"

"I'll try." She helped him with that too. He wasn't too sure if the water would stay down but it felt good to drink something, especially now the taste of vomit had been taken away by the mouthwash. He drank half a glass full, really slowly, before he'd had enough.

"Try and rest now. I'm going to get something to help with the cramps, you just try and sleep, okay?"

He just nodded, closed his eyes. He must have dozed, woke a little later when she placed something warm against his guts.

"Relax," she whispered. "It will help, I promise."

"What is it?"

"It's just a gel pad I warmed up. The type of thing you use on sprains, but a little localised heat should help the cramps. How does it feel?"

"Feels good," he told her. He could feel himself drifting off again.

~~

Erica watched the skinhead, Hando doze off. She'd had them put him in her bed, it was the only bed made up. She'd pulled out the chesterfield sofa bed for herself in the same room, that way she could keep an eye on him, plus for some stupid reason she felt a bit safer being in the room with him. She'd given Davey and the other two bedding so they could make up the beds in the spare rooms.

They hadn't actually been any trouble since they'd arrived. She'd made dinner for all of them, taking hers into the bedroom to eat alone, and had been surprised when she'd come out and found that they'd washed the dishes. It didn't make her any less afraid of them though, she just hoped that they'd stick to their word, that if she looked after their friend they'd just go once he was well.

She checked Hando's pulse. Looking after him wasn't exactly a chore, he was really easy on the eye, skinhead or not. His eyes were just beautiful, a burning blue, and he had a surprisingly sweet looking mouth. Why did someone that gorgeous have to be a skinhead? Then again, Teddy her ex had been gorgeous, and look what a bastard he'd turned out to be! At least with a guy like this you pretty much knew what you'd be getting. She tucked the sheet in around him to hold the heat pad in place then went into her bathroom to wash up and get into her pyjamas.

Erica actually dropped off to sleep pretty fast. She didn't expect to. She only got a couple of hours though before Hando woke her, trying to get out of bed. She shot up, raced across the top of her own bed, and grabbed him before he could come a cropper.

"Where are you off to?" she asked him.

"Bathroom, I need the bathroom!"

"Feel sick?"

"No, other end," he groaned.

"Back into bed, come on, you're not going to make it. Lets use the bed pan instead."

She sat up with him for the rest of the night as the stomach cramps got worse and the diahorrea took hold. Erica was well aware of how much discomfort he must be in, but he didn't complain, didn't get embarrased, though he did apologise once or twice. By dawn he seemed to be faring a little better, and application of the heat pad seemed to be easing the cramps a little. She sat beside him, back to the headboard, and held the pad in place as he lay curled onto his right side. Finding a comfortable position that didn't aggravate the cramps wasn't easy for him.

"Can't be much left in me to come out," he said quietly. She could see he was exhausted.

She smiled. "No, I don't think there is. Is the pad helping again?"

"Yeah."

She felt his forehead, he was a little hotter than he should be. She reached over to the bedside table for the thermometer. "Let me check your temperature." He opened his mouth and she slipped the thermometer under his tongue.

It was higher than she would have liked.

"What's your name?" he asked her.

"Erica," she told him. "Erica Birken."

"Fucking up your Christmas aren't I Erica?"

She laughed. "You might say that."

"What were you gonna do?"

"Lots of nothing."

"What? No dinner with the family, lots of fancy parties."

"Not this year, I fancied some time alone."

He gave a little laugh. "I buggered that up for you then."

"You certainly did. What would you have done for Christmas?" She asked him.

"Party probably, got drunk, got laid."

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nah, you got a boyfriend?"

"Nup."

"You say that like you're glad."

She smiled. "I do don't I? I just got rid of one, it feels like the most sensible thing I've done in years."

"Why'd you dump 'im?"

"He was cheating," she laughed. "Why am I telling you all this?"

"Cos I'm sick?"

"You are indeed, and you need to get some rest now," she told him.

"'Kay," he closed his eyes. "Will you keep that pad thing there for a bit?"

"Yep. You just try and sleep now." He nodded.

She sat with him until his breathing evened out and he slept, then crawled back into her own bed.

~~

When Davey went into the Doc's bedroom to check on her and Hando he found them both asleep, Hando in her bed, her on the sofa bed. All the windows in the room had been thrown open, and the room was cool, comfortable.

Davey couldn't help but stare at her. She was just about on top of the bedding, wearing lilac pyjamas, hair all over the place, no make up on, she was beautiful. The pyjama jacket had ridden up a bit, exposing lightly tanned flesh beneath. It was tempting to slip his hand under there, have a feel of one of those lovely tits, too tempting. He turned away, went to see how Hando was doing. To his surprise Hando stirred, opening exhausted eyes.

"Hey," Davey grinned. "How ya doing?" he asked him quietly.

"Better."

"You look fuckin' awful," he told him.

"Feel it. Who's here with you?" he asked.

"Just Brett and Cackles, I left the rest of them back in Footscray to find us some new digs. Don't want the Doc leading the cops to us at the old place."

He nodded slowly. "She been any trouble?"

"Nah, she's been okay, bit scared."

"Don't want anyone fuckin' with her, or her stuff, tell Brett and Cackles I said."

Davey nodded. "You want anything?"

He seemed to think about it for a while.

"You okay mate? Need me to wake her up for ya?"

"No, leave her, maybe I can get back to sleep again."

"You sure?"

He nodded.

"Well if you need anything, just shout or something eh?"

Hando lay there for a while after Davey went, trying to ignore how uncomfortable he was and find a position that minimized the pain in his guts. It wasn't easy, plus his head was spinning, he was hot, and just about as fucking miserable as he possibly could be. His belly churned, and he felt as though the trots could start up again at any minute.

"Can't get to sleep?"

Her voice startled him, he'd been too wrapped up in his own misery to realise that she'd woken up. She was sat on top of her bed, knees drawn up under her chin, as she combed fingers through her hair. She looked like a kid.

"Didn't want to wake ya," he told her.

"That's okay. I'll be with you in a sec, I just need to wash up."

She came back from her little bathroom to sit beside him on the bed. She examined him gently. He was beginning to feel really bad again, too dizzy to think about much. She gave him a drink that tasted a bit like pineapple, made him slowly sip it all. It was for the trots she said, it would help. She sat with him then, holding the warm pad back in place once she'd reheated it, talking to him quietly.

~~

Erica sat beside the skinhead, holding the warm pad in place with one hand to ease the pain in his abdomen, whilst the other arm went around his shoulders and she stroked his back to help him relax. Not exactly at the top of the doctors list of ethics, cuddling your patient, but then lessons on what to do when you're kidnapped by a gang of skinheads hadn't figured much on the menu at med-school either. Besides the back stroking had soothed him earlier, and he was pretty much out of it. She spoke to him quietly, his murmured responses getting fainter and fainter until he slept. She decided to wait a while, whilst his sleep deepened before moving, getting dressed.

She woke some time later, unsure where she was at first. A warm male body lay beside her, head on her shoulder, and a large male hand was beneath her pyjama jacket, resting lightly on her breast. It took her a long moment to realise that that hand wasn't Teddy's, it was the skinhead Hando's. The shock made her move, and stirred her sleeping companion. The hand that had simply rested on her breast caressed it instead, and murmuring something she couldn't make out, he moved closer, nestling into her.

Now what?

Did she move, risk waking him, or did she just let him sleep then move out from under him when he moved, or when his sleep deepened enough that she could extracate herself. That seemed like a better plan. She lay still, closed her eyes, tried to ignore the strong fingers that stroked over her nipple, and the soft male breath that tickled her neck. Tried to ignore the fact that she hadn't had sex in months, and that Hando, whom she already knew was hung like an horse, had an erection that was pressing into her hip.

Bloody hell he was her patient, he was ill, he was a neo-nazi to boot, and all she could think about was what it would be like to make love to him. At some point the line between her ethics and her feelings had become blurry.

He gave a groan of discomfort and his hand moved away from her breast to cross over his abdomen and Erica moved quickly, sitting up just as Hando opened his eyes.

"Is everything okay?" she asked him quickly.

He nodded. "Just... I was dreaming," he told her quietly. "Didn't mean to drag you out of kip."

"That's okay," she stroked his forehead, suddenly feeling an absolute shit. "Try and go back to sleep. Come on, close your eyes."

"Don't usually let women boss me around," he smiled.

"Well I'm not a woman as far as you're concerned, I'm your doctor so you can make an exception." It was easy enough for her to say to him, but it had very little to do with the way she was feeling.

~~

Hando's dream about the doctor had been vivid, and it had left him with a rigid, aching cock. If he'd been feeling up to scratch he'd have convinced her to give him some relief, but right now he was too crook, and all it did was add to his list of woes. Instead the gentle strokes of her fingers at the side of his face seemed a strange mixture of comfort and torture.

The women he usually mixed with didn't look like she did, especially when they'd just woken up. Most of them looked fuckin' awful first thing. They didn't smell like her either. She had a clean, fresh smell that he'd noticed even at the squat, and when she moved close to him he caught the scent of expensive perfume.

"That boyfriend you told me about, what's his problem?" he asked her in an effort to distract himself.

"He doesn't think he's got one, that's his problem. He was cheating on me all over the place, he didn't think it mattered because the other women didn't matter, not to him anyway. They were just one night stands apparently."

"They were easy fucks?" He understood that right enough.

"On a plate according to Teddy."

"Teddy?" he cracked a grin at that.

"Edward Fosterbridge," she told him, smiling back.

"He a doctor too?"

"No, he's a broker."

He guessed he'd be some moneyed type. "Will you take him back?"

She laughed. "Not if he was the last man on earth."

"Pissed you off eh?"

She nodded. "More than I thought possible. He was arrogant and hurtful, he didn't give a damn about my feelings, all he considered was himself. I was stupid too, I should have admitted the truth to myself a long time ago. I knew what he was like, I just pretended that I didn't, ignored things hoping they'd go away, like an idiot." She smiled at him, a little embarrassed by the fact that she'd said so much. "Is this working, am I boring you to sleep yet?"

"Gettin' there, keep going," he told her.

"What other boring stuff do you want me to talk about, we've pretty much exhausted my love life? We could talk about yours."

"I probably make your pal Teddy sound like a saint."

"Bit of a bad lad are you?"

He smiled up at her. "Heartless, evil, using, bastard apparently."

"And is that true?" she asked him seriously.

"Pretty much," he admitted.

"Well at least you're honest about it."

"What you see's what you get," he told her.

"I see someone who needs to get some rest now." She pulled the sheet around him. "Try and sleep a little more Hando okay?"

He nodded.

~~

Erica stood beneath the shower and considered turning the water to cold. What you see is what you get, he'd said. It should have put her off, his confession, but it didn't. She'd gone from wanting to kiss him, to wanting to help him with the massive erection he'd had earlier. She'd seen her fair share of well endowed men, but suddenly she was getting wet just thinking about the way he'd feel inside her. Teddy had been a good lover, she'd never had any cause for complaint there, but she couldn't help wondering what Hando would be like, just how skilled he might be.

Stop it you silly bitch, just stop it right now!

She turned the shower onto cold, and forced herself to stay beneath it, cool off. She wasn't sure it had done any good. She got out and got dressed, determined not to think of the man in her bed as anything other than a patient. When she came out of the bathroom he was sleeping, so she left him alone for a while.

Her other three houseguests were sat sunning themselves outside the kitchen window as she made herself something to eat. When he heard her moving around Davey came inside.

"How is he?"

"Sleeping," she told him, sipping her coffee. "I think he might be over the worst of it."

"How long before we can leave?"

She let out a sigh. "A few days yet," she admitted. "He needs a lot of rest, and he needs to start getting some food inside him once he's up to it."

Davey nodded, chewing at his bottom lip. "Listen, you and me, we err... We got off on the wrong foot. Hando's my mate and we try and look out for each other." He was struggling with what he had to say. "I don't get off on hitting women," he told her, "and I mean what I said about us leaving as soon as he's fit enough."

She nodded. "You scared me, you still scare me, all of you. I'm stuck with you for now though aren't I?" She stared at him.

"We aren't gonna do anything," he assured her.

She nodded slowly. "There's a turkey in the freezer," she told him. "Should be more than enough to feed us tomorrow."

He gave a surprisingly shy smile. "We could help."

"You'll probably have to lend a hand with the veggies if I'm looking after Hando."

He grinned. "He'll be proper pissed off he missed it, last time we had a Christmas dinner was about three years ago at my Nan's place."

"Never mind, he can try some Turkey broth from the carcass. Do you want to get the bird out for me, freezer's in the garage?"

He nodded. "I'll get it. Anything else?"

"No that's fine. You know, if you walk down the path there you can get onto the beach."

"Yeah, Brett found it when he was taking a scout around. Bit risky if we're seen hanging around we don't wanna attract any attention, but thanks," he told her.

~~

It was dark when Hando woke up. The lamps were lit in the bedroom, and he could hear the faint sound of a television from another room. Erica was sat of top of her bed reading a book, drinking a cup of something; coffee, he could smell it.

"Good book?" he asked her.

She put it down and gave him a smile. "Not bad. You've had a good long sleep, how do you feel?"

"Bit better," he realised. "Hot, can I have a drink?"

"Of course you can." She came over and poured him a glass of water and he slowly drank the whole thing. "Better?" she asked him.

"Yeah." He lay back whilst she examined him. His stomach was still pretty tender and he felt totally fucked, but he still felt better than he had before. "What day is it?" he asked her, when she took the thermometer out of his mouth to check it.

"Christmas Eve."

"You been a good girl for Santa?" he asked her with a smile.

"Of course. I supose you've been bad?"

"Very bad, no point in hanging up my stocking. I think he'd crossed me off his list by the time I was eight." He grinned. "I remember this Santa coming to the home I was in when I was a kid..."

"Home?"

"It was one of those group foster homes," he explained. "They arranged for this department store Santa to come in and see us. I can't remember how old I was exactly, all the kids were going up and sitting on his knee, but he just scared the shit out of me, I didn't want to go. They finally made me go up and I lost my bottle, kicked him in the shins and told him he was a big, fat git. Got sent to bed without my tea," he laughed.

"That's mean, you couldn't help being scared," she told him.

"Wouldn't admit it though would I? You never let on what you're thinking."

"Even if it means being crossed off Santa's list?" she asked him grinning.

He nodded.

"I'll try and remember. Not going to kick me in the shins if I go get some water and towels and give you a wash are you?"

"No, I like the sound of a wash," he admitted.

"It'll make you feel better," she told him. "Back in a tick."

Just having his face washed was nice, but she did his neck, chest, back, and arms too. The soap had her smell, and her touch felt wonderful. He felt as though he were drowning in her. When her face was close it was difficult to resist the urge to kiss her. He sighed in frustration.

"Are you okay?" She asked him.

"Yeah, I just.... Can we finish this, I just want to sleep now?" He said it a little more sharply than he intended.

"Of course we can, you should have said," she told him gently. She finished drying him off with the fluffy towel whilst he lay there and stared off into space, avoiding looking at her. "Hando, are you sure you're all right? Have I done something to hurt you or..."

"No," he met her eyes. "I'm just tired, alright?"

She nodded, not saying anything.

It wasn't a total lie, he was pretty tired, and he knew he'd sleep like a log.

~~

Sleep like a log he did. He woke up to find it was daylight, and Davey was sat in the room with him.

"Hey, how yer doin'?" Davey asked him, seeing him awake.

"Bit better," he admitted. "Where's the doc?"

"Working on the dinner."

"Dinner?"

"It's Christmas Day, she's making dinner for us. Brett and Cackles are peeling the spuds," he laughed.

"Missin' out on the good stuff am I?"

"You are if it tastes as good as it smells mate," Davey admitted. "She says you can have some turkey broth if you're up to it."

Food, it seemed like forever since he'd last eaten something.

"She wants you to have some drink or other to help with the trots when you wake up, I'll go let her know." He got to his feet.

"Davey."

"Yeah?" he asked him at the door.

"I put you all in the shit with this mate. If anything goes wrong, if the cops come, the three of you take off an' get back to the others, hear me?"

"I'm being careful Hando, we all are, and we're mates together, right?"

"If the cops come you fuck off, I mean it. This is kidnapping, courts come down hard on it."

Davey nodded.

The girl came back, without Davey. She smiled as soon as she saw him, and came to sit beside him on the bed.

"You're looking a lot better, how are you feeling?"

"Better," he admitted. He looked away from the pretty eyes. "We'll be out of here in a day or two, no real harm done eh?"

"More than a day or two," she told him quietly.

"As soon as I can get back on my feet we'll be off, you've got my word. What 'appens after that's up to you..."

"Hando listen," she sighed. "What happened.... it shouldn't have. I was made to do something against my will, but as far as I'm concerned what's done is done. Since you've been here everything has been okay, there's been no trouble, no rough stuff. Providing things stay that way then I won't say a word about what happened. If the police should be alerted I'm willing to say that you're an old friend or whatever, and that you've been taken ill staying with me."

"Why would you do that?" he asked her.

"I don't really know, maybe because you needed help, maybe because you've been straight with me, maybe because it's Christmas," she gave him a little smile. "Maybe because I don't want you rushing off from here before you're fit enough, having a relapse, and putting me through this whole thing again."

"You mean what you're saying?"

She nodded.

"An' I get turkey broth?" he asked her, beginning to smile.

"We'll see."

"Best be good then."

"Yes you had, now lets get some of this medicine down you."

"That pinneapple stuff, it tastes like shit."

"That's just what it stops you from doing." She smiled at him. "You're not going to start playing up now you're feeling better I hope?"

"Nah, best behaviour, promise."

~~

Erica's mother rang a little later that day. The ringing of the telephone had caused all noise and movement in the house to stop, and her eyes met Davey's.

He stared at her for a moment and then deliberately looked away, going back to setting the table for their Christmas dinner. The look told her that he trusted her, and despite the fact that she knew he listened intently to every word she said, it lifted the sudden tension.

They'd have to do something pretty desperate for her to betray them now. She'd meant every word she'd said to Hando, she just hadn't told him all her reasons.

Dinner was actually a lot of fun. Erica was an average cook, but the food turned out better than even she expected, and she'd never had such appreciative dinner guests, they ate everything, and loved it. She sensed they were trying to be on their best behavior for her, which was kind of nice. Some of their language was pretty colourful, and Davey had warned the other two off completing a couple of the jokes they'd started to tell her, but surprisingly enough she'd found herself having a good time, and laughing more than she had in months. Her favourite part had been watching them guzzle down the wine. Teddy had been the most frightful wine snob, paying out what she'd always considered to be insane amounts for fine and vintage wines. Everytime they opened one he'd lecture her on it's finer points, which had frankly bored her rigid. Watching the three lads chug the stuff down like it was water, especially two of the bottles he'd considered to be financial investments, was probably one of the best Christmas presents she could have had.

After dinner she took her own glass of wine in the bedroom to sit with Hando, whilst they got on with the washing up. She found him wide awake, and sensed he was feeling pretty left out.

"Dinner good was it?"

"Yep, it was." She sat down beside him on the bed. "We'll try you on some broth later eh?"

"If you say so. Sounds like you've been 'avin a good time in there, I could hear you laughing."

She smiled. "It was fun."

"Pissed are they?" There was a conflict going on behind his intense blue eyes and Erica realised he was struggling with a touch of jealousy. Was he jealous that he hadn't been able to have dinner with his mates she wondered, or jealous that they'd been having dinner with her?

"No, they're fine, busy washing up." There was a loud crash from the direction of the kitchen, followed by cheers. "Well they're getting rid of the dishes at any rate, then they plan to slump in front of the tv, so I thought I'd leave them to it."

"Yeah? So what are you gonna do?" he asked her.

"Besides take your temperature and prod your belly, I thought I might try and bore you to sl...."

The phone rang again.

She picked it up on the second ring. "Hello?"

"You sound a little startled," the voice at the other end told her. "Nothing wrong is there?" She never thought she'd hear that voice again, and just for a moment it threw her.

"No, nothing. What do you want Teddy?" He was the last person she wanted or expected to hear from.

"You shouldn't be up there moping about on your own."

"I'm not moping about. Now is there something you want, or do I hang up?"

"Yes I want something. I want you to pack some things, get in the car, and drive back to Melbourne, spend the rest of Christmas with me. I can't bear to think of you all alone, feeling sad. I mean it Erica, you're either driving down here or I'm coming up to get you, no excuses."

The arrogant, patronizing, bastard, she could barely get her words out. "Teddy, don't you get it, you and I are over, finished, history....."

"We have some issues to work through, I grant you, but what you and I have is far too important to throw away just because of a misunderstanding. I'm a big enough man to apologise Erica."

He made it sound like he was doing her a bloody favour! She was so enraged she wanted to scream, but it was coming out all wrong and she could feel herself close to crying in frustration instead. Suddenly a hand covered hers and she looked up, meeting Hando's intense stare. He'd clearly heard every word. His hand squeezed hers gently and then he took the phone from her.

"The trouble is Teddy, that Erica's not the one who's alone, that's you mate, and that's your problem," he said quietly, his skinhead slang gone, and his deep, honeyed voice more cultured than was usual. "You had your chance, now you're old news, but I'm sure you're a big enough man to deal with it." His words were greeted with silence and he handed the phone back to Erica.

"Don't ring here again Teddy, I don't want to know. Is that clear enough for you?"

"Perfectly," he said curtly, and hung up.

Erica put the phone down. "Have you any idea how good that felt?" she asked him, the threatened tears now gone, replaced by a huge smile. "Thank you for doing that."

"Need to keep on your good side if I want my turkey broth."

"That's true, and on the subject of getting your turkey broth, lay back and relax against the pillows for me Hando."

He did as she said. "It didn't get me out of the belly prodding then?"

"No chance."

She pulled down the sheet and Hando felt her soft touch on his abdomen.

"Can you relax a little more?" she asked him. "Just lay right back, try closing your eyes."

She didn't usually say this to him and it was making him feel a little nervous, he made himself more comfortable, closed his eyes, and let out a slow breath. "Nothin' wrong is there?"

"Nothing for you to worry about, it's just...." he felt her move a little closer and her hand lightly touched his cheek, "...it's just that I couldn't do this if you were looking at me," she said quickly. Her mouth came down over his and she kissed him. It was the last thing he expected and he gave a growl of pleasure, pulling her down against his chest and running his fingers through hair that was just as soft to the touch as he'd imagined. He deepened the kiss, breaching her lips with his tongue. She didn't pull away, didn't resist, just kissed him right back.

When they eventually broke the kiss, both panting for breath, he gazed up at her. "Think I must be back on the fat old git's list," he told her, smiling.

"Does that mean you're not a bad boy any more?" she asked him, suddenly serious.

He wrapped one of her blonde curls around his finger before he could meet her eyes. He shook his head. "Can't change what I am love."

"You can't?"

"No," he stroked her lovely face. "'Cept here, just for a while, okay?"

She nodded. "I'd like that."

"Yeah," he admitted, so would he. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her down to rest her head on his chest. "Course, if we're gonna fuck I'm gonna need a lot of that turkey broth!"

~~

It was just after midnight when Davey went into Hando's room to see if everything was okay, say goodnight if either of them was awake. He was kinda hoping Erica might be. He'd been trying to work up the courage to give her a Christmas kiss all day.

Well he could forget that stupid, fucking idea! She was asleep, fast asleep in Hando's bed, his arms wrapped around her.

Davey folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. "I thought you were sick."

"I am."

"Doesn't stop you pullin' the sheila's though does it? Next blonde's mine right?"

Hando nodded. "You're on."

Davey went back to the door and then turned back. "Merry Christmas eh?"

"Yeah, Merry Christmas Davey."

~~

Erica pulled the Shogun into a deserted car park about two miles away from the surgery a few days later. Brett and Cackles climbed out first. She had a feeling that both of them were glad to be back in the city. She wasn't too sure about Davey though, he was more difficult to read. He lingered a little and gave her that shy smile of his.

"Thanks Doc', for everything, y'know?"

She nodded. "I know. You take care Davey won't you?"

"Yeah." He turned to Hando. "Meet you 'round the corner at the newsagents yeah?"

"Be there in a while."

As Davey walked off with the other two Hando turned to Erica. "Best not draw this out love."

She nodded. She knew he was right, but it didn't make saying goodbye any easier, just as telling herself over and over that she hadn't fallen in love with him made that any less of a lie.

"I wish...."

"No!" He kissed her to stop the words coming out, and she knew he was as reluctant to break that kiss as she was. He held her face gently, wiped away the trace of a tear with the pad of his thumb. "Never let on what you're thinkin', remember?" he said softly.

She nodded. "You... you need to take care of yourself, you know? No more squats like the 'Old Drover'."

"We have to pay rent for the new place, it'll be better," he told her.

She nodded, taking both his hands in hers and holding them tightly. "Take it easy for a while, and find a reputable doctor, get yourself checked out in a week or so, promise me!"

"I have to go Erica."

"Hando!"

He closed his eyes. "Have to go," it was barely a whisper. He kissed her again, a harsh, hungry kiss, before pulling away from her and getting out of the car, shutting the door behind him. He didn't say anything else, didn't even look 'round, just walked away, and Erica watched him go through a blur of tears.

~~

Erica slipped a tape into the player she kept in the office. Everyone had gone home and the surgery suddenly felt too quiet, she wanted some music. The tapes were unmarked, recordings she'd made of CD's she kept at home. She'd give them to Theresa she decided, gathering them together and placing them in a storage box with the nurse's name written on the side.

There was a selection of boxes scattered about the room, most of them filled already.

She'd harboured an ambition to work for the Red Cross for as long as she could remember. Teddy, with all his talk of marriage and their future together, had made her dismiss the idea, but now she was free. She was her own woman once more, able to do the things she wanted to do.

Most things.

There were just a few last things she needed to pack away now. She walked over to the cork notice board on the wall as the strains of Annie Lennox singing "Why" drifted through the room. The lyrics were a little melancholy, but they matched her mood.

She started taking down the photo's she'd pinned up on the board. She'd requested a photograph from every woman who'd had a baby since she'd been with the practice, some where she'd attended the birth, some not. Almost two years of new life. She took them down, placing them into one of her boxes. She hesitated when she came to the last photograph, turning it over to read the back.

For Dr Birken,

Kylie Dexter.

Weight 9lbs 13ozs

Born on 25th December 1992

at 8pm.

Christmas Day. It was hard not to think about Christmas. Hard not to think about Hando, to wonder how and where he was.

The vision of him walking away from the car came back to her. She'd replayed that scene over and over in her head. He'd walked away without looking back. At first she'd been certain that he'd done that because he had no other choice, that his feelings were as strong as hers. Doubts had set in though. Had he simply used her, had he walked away without a care?

A loud bang from somewhere in the building startled her out of her reverie. She listened for another noise, voices, but there was nothing but silence. It couldn't have been a door, she'd locked them, checked the windows, and the cleaners didn't come until morning.

She sucked in a nervous breath and went to investigate.

As she opened her office door she let out a scream as a dark figure loomed directly in front of her.

A large hand clamped down over her mouth, muffling the sound.

"Easy love. I didn't mean to scare ya," he told her, moving his hand away slowly.

She looked up into the dark eyes of the man who so often occupied her thoughts. "Hando? What are you doing here?" She was confused. "How did you get in?"

"When you check the windows love remember to go in the gents."

"Oh!" She backed up into the office and he followed her. "You could just have knocked," she told him.

"I didn't know if you'd want a public visit," he gazed at her, his expression unreadable. "You never reported us to the cops."

She shook her head. "Did you think I would?"

"Things change," he told her, as his eyes roamed the room. His attention suddenly snapped back onto her. "You said I should get myself checked out in the new year, by someone reputable, so I came to you."

"Hando, I can't..." She shook her head.

"Last time," he told her. "Heard you were leavin'… Looks like it's true. No more Footscray?"

"No more Australia."

He nodded slowly. "I'd heard that too."

There was a long silence between them that Erica found uncomfortable. "So you want me to give you a checkup, before I leave?" she asked him briskly.

He gave her a nod in reply.

"You better go behind the screens then, get undressed. You can leave your undies on."

He didn't say anything, just went behind the screens as she asked. She gave him a minute or so then followed him. She found him sat on the bed in just a pair of white briefs.

"Seems odd strippin' off like this for you," he told her. "Don't know why…"

"Not nervous are you?" She grinned suddenly. "You'd never tell me if you were, would you?"

He came close to smiling. "You're learnin'"

She laughed. "So, down to business. How have you been feeling, no more problems with your stomach?"

"No. I took it easy like you said. The new digs are better too."

"Good." As she examined him she felt some of the awkwardness she felt at seeing him again disappear.

"You seem to have made a full recovery Hando," she told him. "No aches and pains I should know about?"

"An ache."

She frowned. "What kind of ache?"

"Deep. Feels like it's running all through me sometimes. It starts here," he took her hand in his and touched it to his forehead. "Finishes here." He moved her hand down to rest on top of his underpants, his fingers smoothing over hers before he took his hand away. "I don't think there's a cure for what I've got," he told her.

She shook her head. There was no cure for her either, no hope for them both. "Any relief I could give you, it would be fleeting."

"I know, I want whatever you can give me."

~~

Hando wanted her, wanted to be with her, so much so that it was making him crazy. He couldn't stop thinking about her, the way she looked, the way she felt, her smell. He remembered the feel of her breast in his mouth, the way it had tasted. The way his cock had felt the first time she'd taken him into her mouth, the look in her eyes as she swallowed him.

He remembered other things too. The way they'd talked about things that didn't matter. The way they'd laughed. She'd made him feel different, good.

Most of all he remembered the first time he'd sheathed himself inside her. It wasn't simply the way she'd felt around him, it was much more than that. It was watching her reaction, her pleasure, not his. It wasn't something he'd really considered before. He knew he got women off when he fucked them. He was proud of his prowess with women, enjoyed the power he had over them. It had been different with Erica though, he'd stopped thinking about his own pleasure and had become lost in hers, doing everything in his power to please her. Seeing her orgasm hit her and take control of her body drove him wild.

He sat up suddenly and, catching her face in both his hands, he kissed her long and hard. He slid down off the table, still kissing her mouth, her lips, her face. His hands began to explore, running down her back to knead her firm arse, running up her sides to feel her shiver. Part of him wanted to rip apart her shirt, but he resisted, slowly unfastening each button. As he pulled open the shirt he stopped kissing her. He wanted to look at her, drink her in. He pushed the shirt down over her shoulders and she let it fall to the floor.

He stole a glance at her face to find her blue eyes wide and fixed on his. "Is this what you want?" he asked her.

She didn't say a word and her eyes never left his. She just nodded.

He reached behind to deftly unhook her bra then took his time taking it off, slowly revealing each breast, licking each nipple in turn before tasting the soft mounds. As he suckled and teased, his hands moved to the waistband of her trousers and he unfastened them, pushing them down so that she stood in just her panties.

~~

Hando left off his assault on Erica's breasts and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her easily. He put her down so that her buttocks rested on the edge of the examination table and, as she lay back, he hooked his thumbs under the waistband of her knickers and eased them slowly down her legs. Once they were off he moved to stand between her knees, sliding her legs up over his shoulders whilst his hands stroked maddeningly up and down them.

He began to kiss her, slowly, working his way down the inside of her legs, licking behind her knees, moving gradually downwards until he was blowing softly on her labia. The sensation tickled, and she squirmed a little, despite her best attempts to remain still.His hands gently encouraged her legs to part further and then he began to lick, insinuating the tip of his tongue between her folds.

"Oh god!" She placed both hands on top of his shorn head, sliding her fingers over the velvet scalp.

"No touching," he told her, the burning blue eyes looking up at her, a tiny smile on his face.

She moved her hands away, grasped the sides of the bed instead as Hando's tongue continued to lick, and then slowly circle her clitoris. She let out a long groan of pleasure. The slow torture continued as his tongue began to tease the tiny organ.

When he moved his mouth away, slowly lifting his head, she wanted to push him back down again, but he moved around to the side of the bed and the fingers of one hand replaced his tongue as he moved up to kiss her. She tried to put her arms around him but he pushed them away, over her head, not letting her touch while he feasted on her body with his mouth, his fingers continuing their patient, maddening torture.

It seemed to go on forever and then suddenly her legs were trembling and her orgasm burst inside her.

~~

Hando watched her body buck and tremble as her blue eyes opened impossibly wide, pupils dilated. Her breath came out in pants and gasps and he watched intently, feeling his own desire turn to an almost painful ache.

"Was that good?" he asked her, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

She nodded. "More than good." Her fingers caressed his face. "It was wonderful. Swap places with me."

He frowned a little. This wasn't part of the plan. "I thought you enjoyed that."

"Believe me," she told him, sitting up slowly, "I did. I liked being at your mercy. Now I want you at mine."

Hando wasn't sure. It wasn't something he'd ever allowed to happen, or even considered before.

She must have been able to sense his uncertainty. "Please?" she asked him, holding his eyes with hers as she moved off the bed.

He played with a strand of her hair, eyes studying the face he'd most probably never see again after tonight. "You're a witch, you know that?"

Her hands ran over the planes of his chest. "I wish I were."

"Magic turkey broth," he grinned and she laughed.

"So are you at my mercy Hando?"

He nodded. "For now."

"Up you get then," she dared him.

He got back up on the bed. "Happy?" he asked her.

"Just remember, no touching."

He placed his arms up above his head. "How could I forget?"

She kissed him, a long, languid duel of tongues and lips, breaking away eventually to slowly kiss and fondle her way down his body, igniting fires inside him. He lay back, determined to relax and enjoy what she was doing to him. He kept his eyes on her and let the music in the background wash over him.

When she reached his undies, Erica moved to stand between his legs and, with a wicked smile, she took them off, allowing his erection its freedom. Barely touching him she held his cock between her fingers and, with her eyes never leaving his, she ran her tongue over the head. He struggled to hold in a groan as her tongue descended to trace the route of his throbbing vein, before licking the head once more.

Tortuously slowly she repeated the action; her thumbs massaged his balls. It was agony: slow, wonderful agony. The sight of her lips around him brought his hands involuntarily down by his sides. He fought to keep his hips still, fought even harder against grabbing her and fucking her mouth over and over. His reward for doing neither was being able to watch his prick slowly disappear into her mouth, feel her tongue slide down its underside, then feel her suck as she slowly let him slide out. Not all the way. Each time she did it his erection seemed to swell until the ache was almost unbearable. She stopped eventually but continued to suck his tip; one hand wrapped around him, pumping him, the other caressed his balls.

He couldn't watch her anymore. He stared up at the ceiling. Every fibre of his body seemed to be connected to the imminent eruption of his cock. He tried to control his ragged breathing, to will himself to last, tried to concentrate on the song the woman was singing on the tape, anything to distract himself.

He felt a finger from her other hand suddenly stroke between his sweat slick buttocks and he jumped.

"Do you trust me Hando?"

He knew what she was asking him. It was something he'd always wondered about, but had never tried. It meant making himself vulnerable to someone else, trusting them completely. He'd had more than his share of betrayals in the past and trusting others came hard to Hando. His tongue flicked out to moisten suddenly dry lips as he closed his eyes in submission. "I trust you."

Erica continued to stroke his cock whilst she lightly circled his anus. He felt like every hair on his body was standing on end.

"Relax for me."

He closed his eyes and he tried. As he felt the ring of tight muscle yield to her touch his breath caught in his throat and his eyes snapped open. As her touch went deeper his whole body began to quiver. Her mouth wrapped around his cock once more, just as she reached a spot deep inside of him. As she touched it he cried out in pleasure, erupting into her mouth as he lost all control. His body arched off the bed, spots of darkness dancing in front of his eyes as he came close to passing out.

He lay there, pulling in deep breaths as the thundering inside his body calmed. He felt her move beside him, rest a hand on his arm and he opened his eyes. "I was right," he told her, "you're a witch. C'mere!" He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "Damn bed's too narrow!" he told her, sitting up.

As he got down onto his feet his legs turned to jelly for a second and he hung on to her. "Fuck woman! What have you done to me?"

She grinned. "Was that good?"

"Think they heard me in Adelaide?"

She laughed. "Come on, I know where there's a wider bed." She took his hand and led him through the deserted clinic to a small room with a normal, single bed. She shut the blinds and the curtains before turning on the small bedside lamp. "It's a recovery room. We don't use it very often."

"Sounds about right." He needed to recover!

"Back in a sec," she told him.

He nodded, sinking gratefully down onto the bed as soon as she'd gone.

~~

When she came back Hando was dozing, but he woke when she slipped into the bed with him.

"Where've you been?" he asked her.

"Just popped to the loo and turned off the music."

"I kinda liked that. Who was it?

"Annie Lennox," she told him, cuddling close. He wrapped his arm around her and leaned in for a soft kiss.

"How long have we got?"

"The cleaners come at 6 am." She checked her watch. "Hours and hours yet." Not enough though, there would never be enough time between them. She ran her fingertip along the spike of the bone tattoo.

"What's going on in that head? More witchcraft?"

She looked up into his burning blue eyes and smiled. "I'm not a witch."

He stroked gentle fingers over her cheek. "You make me forget who I am," he told her.

She frowned. "Who are you?" she wanted him to tell her.

He didn't answer her. His head came down to lie on her shoulder and he fondled her breast absently. She didn't push it. She had a pretty good idea who he was. As he'd recovered back at the house she'd seen the way the other skinheads had acted around him and when she'd returned to Footscray she'd asked a few discreet questions. He had a frightening reputation, and she had no doubts that much of it was true.

"I'm different with you," he said quietly.

~~

Hando woke to feel soft arms around him and a pliant body beneath him. "How long was I asleep?" he asked her, rubbing the pad of his index finger over a pert pink nipple.

She smiled and yawned a little. "About an hour."

"Can't be falling asleep on the job," he told her. He ran a hand down over her belly to cup her mons. "Let's see if you've been thinking about me." He slid a finger inside her, enjoying her little gasp of surprise. "Do ya want me?" he whispered close to her ear.

Her eyes closed and she sighed, nodding her head.

"Tell me," he whispered again, before tugging gently on her earlobe with his teeth.

She opened her eyes. "I want you."

He ran his tongue from her collarbone to just below her ear before moving between her thighs. He stroked his erection then pushed slowly inside her. He made his strokes slow and deep, so he could watch her body beneath him, see every expression that crossed her face. He took his time, changing the angle as he entered her until he found the one that made her cry out every time he hit home.

"God! Hando please!" Her hips thrust up to meet his, and she pushed her head back into the pillow, gathering the bed sheets in tight fists. He watched as her orgasm took a hold of her, felt her muscles contract around him. "Hando!"

He withdrew from her quickly. "Roll over."

~~

"What?" She felt like she was floating, and she barely heard him.

"Roll over come on," he urged her.

She did as he said.

"Up on your knees Erica, hold onto the bars of the headboard."

She was nervous suddenly, unsure what he intended. "You're not going to hurt me are you?"

"No, not that. Just kneel up for me… Come on."

She did as he asked and he moved to kneel behind her. She felt his fingers part her then he slid inside and she let out a groan of pleasure. He felt even larger from behind and he kept pushing deeper. She gripped the bars of the bed as he'd said and pushed back against him. The sensation of being filled was incredible.

"That's it, just like that," he whispered, his body over hers. He massaged her breast with one hand while the other began to tease her clitoris. She felt so full, so incredibly aware of his fingers as they moved inside her. "Feel good?" he asked her.

She could only nod, lost in what he was doing to her. She felt him begin to withdraw, almost all the way, then he slammed back into her. She almost lost her hold on the bars of the headboard. She pushed back, feeling that incredible fullness again. All the time his fingers continued to tease, and she felt her legs beginning to shake as another orgasm threatened to overtake her. He leaned over her once more, licking at the side of her neck. His fingers left her clitoris and both hands cupped her breasts before stroking their way down to hold onto her hips.

"Hold onto the bars for me love. You ready?"

She nodded.

There were a couple more slow, deep strokes before he began to pick up the pace and pound into her, his hands guiding her hips. Her orgasm was staggering causing Hando to slow his strokes a little, but his thrusts became harder, deeper, each one punctuated by a grunt of pleasure. She clung to the bars for all she was worth as Hando brought himself to climax. He held her tightly against him, not moving, his breath hissing out between his teeth before she felt his powerful ejaculation inside of her.

Weak and boneless the pair of them collapsed on the bed as Hando withdrew from her, both of them bathed in sweat. He reached out a heavy hand to stroke her hair.

She smiled at him. "Do that again!"

"You might 'ave to gimme a minute."

~~

Hando helped her to tidy up and hide all evidence of the night they had spent at the surgery. Then he carried her boxes out to the car whilst she checked around for anything she might have missed. He walked back into the office and found her putting her jacket on.

"Got everything?"

She looked slowly around. "I think so."

"What about the tape player?"

"That's mine."

He unplugged it and then realised the cassette was still in it and pressed the eject. "Is the tape yours too?"

"I kind of bequeathed the tapes to Theresa, the nurse. There's a box of stuff for her on the desk there."

He went over to put the tape in the box, almost did, but found himself slipping it into the pocket of his crombie instead.

They went out together, Erica locking up and posting the keys in the overnight box. He saw her settled in the car, handing her the tape deck to put on the seat beside her before shutting her door. She wound down the window and he leaned in.

"All set?"

She nodded. "I think so." She stared hard at him. "I hate saying good-bye to you."

"Don't say it then."

"I have to. I love you Hando," she told him. "It doesn't matter if you don't love me, I just... It was important that I told you."

He reached out and ran a gentle hand through her hair. "I like that you did." He couldn't put the way he felt into words, couldn't voice what he was feeling. "When I'm with you I'm different, everything else is blurry." He sighed. "I can't be the way you'd like me to be, the way I'd have to be to be with you. I carry too much around with me."

"I know," she admitted. "I won't forget you Hando."

He shook his head. He wouldn't forget her either. "Time to go love, before the cleaners get here." He pulled her to him and kissed her. "You look after yourself, be careful," he told her.

"And you, take care Hando."

"Got Davey to watch my back for me, don't worry. Come on, start the car."

As he watched her drive away the pain he felt was like nothing he'd ever known before, and he doubted it would ever go away. He couldn't even tell her how he felt, how little everything he had ever believed in had come to mean. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it before turning back to the life that was his.

~~

"Almost there!"

It had been a long, grueling labour, and the mother was very close to exhaustion. The heat here in the Sudan was a huge contributing factor, it took it's toll on everyone and everything.

"One more push, that's it!" she encouraged. "Just a little more....." The baby was still doing fine, no signs of distress. The last push seemed to sap every last ounce of strength from the mother,  but it did the trick. "All over," she told her. "You've done it!"

She felt as relieved as the mother. Bringing new life into this world was never routine for her, often it tugged at her heart, seldom more so than today.

~~

The Red Cross Hospital's latest arrival lay in the arms of his mother, mouth fastened on her breast.

"Twelve pounds four ounces," Erica shook her head. "What a little bruiser."

Gurprit sighed. "He's beautiful, absolutely beautiful."

"He is that, he's perfect."

"Do you have a name for him?"

Erica stared down at her son. "His name's Hando, after his father," she smiled. "I wish he could have seen him, he would have been so proud."

Gurprit stroked her friend's sweat soaked blonde hair. She remembered the day the letter had come from home telling of the death of the baby's father. It had been a cutting from a newspaper, sent by Erica's friend Theresa without knowing it's significance. Erica had been almost six months pregnant by then, and the news had devastated the usually untiringly cheerful Australian. As her doctor, Gurprit had been worried about her, relieved when she was able to somehow come to terms with her grief.

"You loved him very much didn't you?"

Eyes fastened on her new son Erica nodded.

"And he loved you?"

"In his way yes, I think he did."

"Now you have a special part of him to love."

"I do don't I?" She smiled. "You're a true friend Gurprit, I'm glad you were here to bring him into this world."

"I was honoured. I'm going to miss you when you go home to be with your family."

"It won't be forever, as soon as he's old enough we'll be back, and you'll come and visit us?"

"As soon as I have vacation time. Now, I have my rounds to do, and both you and Hando need your rest. I'll see you later."

Left alone Erica studied her newborn son as she thought about his father. She still had the paper cutting Theresa had sent her, that told her Hando was dead. She'd read the paper's version of events that left both Hando and Bubbs dead, Davey in prison. Maybe one day she'd write to Davey, see if she could find out the truth. It didn't matter though, not really.

What mattered was the time they spent together and the child she held in her arms. Maybe it was best if everything else remained blurry.

~fin~

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